Monday, August 4, 2008

Spotting of An Ex From Ages Ago

I ran into an ex-boyfriend last week. And by run into I mean I saw him from a far, followed him a bit at a safe distance to get a better look, then left before he could spot me. I know, real mature. Since seeing him, though, I am now curious as to what he is up to. Just the basics like if he’s married, has kids, what kind of job he has, and where he lives. I suppose had I not avoided him I could have asked him. It was awkward and there would have been no real graceful way to go about initiating a conversation. My husband suggested asking him a random question and then feigning shock at the discovery it was he. He also offered to go over and say, "Hey, I hear you dated my wife. Well, she’s hiding over there and would like to know if your’re married, have any kids, where you work, and where you live." I declined the offer. It was a little disorienting, though, because he was so tall and lean when we dated. He now has more of a "power lifter" physique. He’s built but has a paunchy stomach and no neck and his facial features are scrunched up a little like a shar pei’s. I remember him being so bright eyed and clean cut and he now had a kind of worn look, like the years had not been easy or kind. In a way it was a little sad because he was not at all how I remembered him. I guess oftentimes the love of youth is looked on either more fondly than it really was or with a greater sense of regret than it really deserves. I probably would not have recognized him at all except for his walk made me take a second look. It’s distinctive.

I’ve been married almost six years now and have rarely given an ex-boyfriend a second thought, but since seeing this particular ex I now have this morbid curiosity about what he’s been up to. I think most women wonder, whether we’ll admit it or not, what became of their ex-boyfriends, especially ones who were a significant part of their lives at that time, even if said boyfriends drove us crazy at the end.

So, what do you think? Should I have initiated a conversation? Or was I smart to run away?

2 comments:

Unknown said...

I know what you felt. I recently learned about some information on an ex of mine. I did some internet searching and found out about his status. I thought about it for days. Eventually that curiosity goes away from the front of your mind to the back.

Gena B. said...

I ran into an ex shortly after I got married. It ended up being a good sense of closure just to affirm for me why I broke up with him. We women are nosey creatures I tell ya.