Wednesday, August 25, 2010


Two weeks ago our son fell suddenly and incredibly ill. He ran a very high fever and the lymph nodes in his neck, armpits, and groin swelled to unbelievable proportions....proportions that literally deformed his face. His eyes swelled almost completely shut and his face was so swollen he did look like he had some type of physical deformation. It was very scary. During his exam the doctors discovered his spleen was about 3 inches below where it should be, exposing it and making it very dangerous if he were to fall or be hit.

We rushed him to the hospital where they promptly ran a series of test that said it was "likely" a severe case of mono but that some of his blood work raised suspicions of leukemia or lymphoma. We were shocked, scared, speechless. You see because in addition to this I was three weeks away from giving birth at the time (now I'm down to 6 days away). These past two weeks have been unreal. It has involved days of doctors appointments, blood tests, exams, and waiting, waiting, waiting for results.

A week into his illness the spot test for mono came back positive alleviating some of the concerns, but they still weren't able to rule out cancer. Just the thought of my sweet, precious three year old son being stricken with cancer was beyond words devastating. The last round of tests have led my doctor to say that she's really not worried about cancer anymore, but they will continue to monitor him for a while to make sure and also to make sure that his mono is getting better. Even if it was "only just mono" the fact that he was/is so sick is frightening. Apparently, most kids that get mono don't even know it. It passes as just a really bad cold. Why our son has been hit so hard with it is a mystery. It happens rarely, but it does still happen and apparently he is one of the kids it happens to.

Anyway, we are two weeks into this illness and he's still very ill. Today is the first day he has shown any sign of improvement and I am hoping that it will be lasting and not just a fluke. I have been up with him 'round the clock as he has had incredible difficulty sleeping (breathing issues due to the size of his tonsils and swollen lymph nodes). I'm exhausted but know I have no other choice.

I just keep praying that he will gradually improve, day by day, before Tuesday.....the day I am scheduled to give birth. It is likely going to be months before he is fully recovered and the thought of continuing to care for him and a brand new baby is a bit daunting, but I trust that it will work out and life will go on. He and my daughter will be staying with my mom while I'm in the hospital so I know they will both be in good hands but I still hate to leave him knowing he is sick.

So, that is what has been occupying all of my time here. What's new in your world?

Monday, August 16, 2010

Kindergarten, Babies, and Other Thoughts

Our daughter started Kindergarten last week and all of my worrying and fretting was for naught. She did wonderfully. Her teacher seems delightfully nice and competent, most of her classmates seem like good kids, the principal came across as hands-on and kind, and I left feeling like she was in the right place. It still hasn't alleviated all of the worrying. I miss her like crazy and at times really wish she were still home with me. However, she enjoys going and I would never want to do anything to give her a negative impression of school. There will be plenty of those feelings she develops on her own later. But still, she's FIVE. Should five year olds really be sent off to school? It just seems so young. However, her being in school has allowed me to view her from a new perspective. I have always been proud of her and known she was kind, caring, sympathetic, and bright. However, being able to see her the way others, who aren't incredibly biased, see her has been a blessing.

On the second day of school when I went to pick her up I had a mother come up and introduce herself to me and tell me how sweet she thought my daughter was and how much she appreciated what she had done on the first day. I had no idea what she was talking about. Apparently, this woman's daughter was crying while she was being dropped off and my daughter walked up to her, gave her a hug, took her hand and walked her into the classroom. They have become fast friends and this woman wanted to let me know how much she appreciated it. Hearing this about my daughter literally brought tears to my eyes.

Then this past Friday my daughter earned a toy out of the prize box. They get a stamp for everyday that they are on task all day and have no behavior issues. If they finish the week with five stamps they get to choose a prize. Our daughter finished with her five stamps and was allowed to choose a toy. Instead of choosing something she wanted she came home with a Star Wars toy for her brother because she said she wanted him "to be happy." Again, tears!

To see her interact in this world, with others and demonstrate the same type of kindness I see at home makes me think that everything will be okay. Words really can't convey how proud I am of her.


On another topic I am two weeks away from giving birth to baby number three. This sure snuck up on me. It's hard to believe that we will soon be a family of five. Thinking about getting my oldest to school, my middle to gym class, and all the other errands I normally have to run while toting along a newborn gives me a bit of anxiety but I'm sure I'll figure it all out. People do it all the time and I had these fears with each of my previous two children and it all turned out fine. Moms figure it out. That's what we do.