The Hypocrite In All of Us

Everyone is a hypocrite to a certain extent. Some are obviously worse offenders than others, but we all at some point have earned the title of hypocrite. What concerns me though is those that fail to see how their actions are in direct conflict with their words. They talk about love and forgiveness and then fail to demonstrate that to others. Or they preach morality while engaging in immoral conduct. They speak of the value of loyalty, honesty, and integrity all the while proving to be a disloyal liar who hasn’t the slightest idea what integrity entails.

I’ve had an interesting year in that I have seen both the best and worst in people. Some offenders were not a surprise to me; it was only a matter of time. But others were truly shocking and disappointing. I was talking to my husband about my disillusionment and he said that oftentimes the biggest disappointment is not the actual offense but that our expectations of that person did not match up with the reality. He’s absolutely right! The offense itself is upsetting, but oftentimes immaterial. It’s the fact that someone you expected to be above that was not. It’s the fact that someone you held in high-esteem could stoop to such a level. It’s the fact that someone you thought you knew and could trust turned out to be quite the opposite and not at all who you thought.

So, what can be done? Nothing! I cannot control what other people think or do, as much as I would like to sometimes. I can only control how I react to what is done or said. I can choose whom I associate with and befriend. I can choose what organizations I belong to. I can choose whom I confide in and trust. Those are all aspect that I can control. Often times the best course of action is to not react at all or to simply remove myself from the situation. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. I need to quit expecting something different because I am only setting myself up to be disappointed.

Is my view jaded and cynical? Maybe. Is it a result of both observing others in action and I myself feeling disappointed in others? Yes. Am I claiming to be free from hypocrisy? No. Do I wish more would recognize their own hypocrisy and take immediate steps to correct it? Yes. So, am I jaded and cynical? Maybe, but I am also hopeful. Hopeful and confident that we all can make small changes and rise above the hypocrisy in our own lives. Hopeful and confident!