Thursday, May 27, 2010

Rendered Impotent

A few nights ago around 9 pm our phone rang. I answered it with a quick "Hello" and a woman on the other end calmly says, "I know who you are and I am going to fucking kill you." I hung up immediately and she called right back. I said "Hello" again and she started in again saying, "I know who you are, I know where you live, and I'm going to fucking kill you." I interrupted and said, "You have the wrong number. I have no idea who you are or what this is about." She replied, "Don't fuck with me and don't you ever fucking call Sherry again." I said, "I don't even know a Sherry. You have the wrong number" and again hung up.

She calls back a third time at which point I was pissed and a bit scared too and she starts right in talking about how she's not going to come alone and she's going to kill us all and that I better not fuck with her. Clearly telling her she had the wrong number again wasn't going to get me anywhere so I just told her that I was going to call the police. At that point she hung up on me and didn't call back. I'm hoping that at this point she realized she had the wrong number.

An officer was sent out to our home and I relayed the story. This woman blocked her number. The police said that without the number they could do nothing and even with the number we would then have to be able to prove who made the call and that this woman could claim she lost her phone, didn't make the call, the list of excuses goes on. So, the following day my husband calls our phone company and explains what happens and says he needs the phone number to complete the police report. They cite privacy laws and state that without a subpoena they cannot release the number of the incoming call. They do inform us that if it happens again we can pay for a line trace and then the police can call the phone company to get that number, but supposedly the trace has to happen immediately following that call and that we have no access to that trace, again without a subpoena.

Here's the thing. My husband and I know she had a wrong number. She obviously thought she was calling someone else, so it is not like we are worried about some crazy person looking to hunt us down. We do worry some just about mistaken identity and tying our phone number to our address and then showing up. However, the larger point is that with all parties claiming there is nothing they can do I can totally see how actual intended targets end up dead. Think about abused women, stalking victims, etc. If I was the actual target and was receiving these calls and the cops repeatedly told me they could do nothing then there are not a lot of options left for the victim. It's a bit disturbing really.

Friday, May 21, 2010


Growing up my mom took us over to see my grandparents (on my dad's side) often. Her father died two weeks before I was born and her mother when I was 6 months old so I only really knew one set of grandparents and then my grandmother's parents, my great-grandparents, as well. My mom and Nana, as we called her, went out for breakfast all the time and after school we'd always stop by to play at her house. Nana died in March 1985, when I was 7.

When I was much older my grandmother would tell the story of the final driver's license my Nana received before her death. She went down to the DMV to have a new picture taken. When her license arrived in the mail in January there was no picture on the license. Apparently, my Nana took this as a type of superstitious premonition predicting that she wouldn't be around much longer, despite having no real health problems. She died of either a heart attack or the moment I can't seem to recall....but unexpected nonetheless.

Anyway, I was cleaning out some drawers for my grandma the other day when I came across a bill fold that had a bunch of old credit cards and identification cards that all belonged to my great-grandparents. In the bunch was the infamous driver's license that lacked a picture. It was a rather eery feeling to know my Nana got this just a couple of months before dying and that she seemed to *know* her demise was imminent. My grandmother was just going to throw it away, so I kept it.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Random Conversations that Make Me Laugh

* My daughter has a girl in her gymnastics class named Elizabeth. My daughter informs her teacher today that she has a doll at home named Elizabeth also. The teacher says, "Well, is your doll as pretty as this Elizabeth here?" My daughter replies, "Yes, my doll is much prettier." While I may need to have a discussion about tact with my daughter I am thinking this particular teacher should apply the same "rule" lawyers use and never ask a question that you don't already know the answer to.

* I was cleaning out my daughter's room the other day and moving furniture so we could clean our carpets. I said, "You just have way too many toys." She says in response, "Well, why did you buy me all these toys then?" I thought for a moment and said, "That's a good question." She says, "Well, maybe you just shouldn't have bought me so many." Hard to argue with that logic.

* Out of the blue my daughter asks if having your tubes tied hurts. (For starters I don't have my tubes tied so I have no clue and secondly I have no idea where she would have ever even heard about having your tubes tied). I said, "No, I don't really think so but where did you hear about that?" My daughter says, "I just read about it on my computer. Like on Facebook."

* The other day when driving my daughter says, "Mom, is our new baby going to be black or white?" I said, "Well, she's going to be white just like you and your brother and mommy and daddy." She was silent and I said, "Why do you ask?" She says, "Well, it would be weird to have a black baby since we're not black." Indeed! I think my husband would have quite a few questions if I birthed a baby any color other than pasty white.

* At the grocery store the other day an older woman says, "Oh, your kids are so cute. How old are they?" I replied, "Thanks. They're 4 and 2." She looks at them again and says, "Are they twins?"

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Times Are a' Changin'

During my first pregnancy I held strictly to the no caffeine rule. I started weaning myself months before I became pregnant and didn't take a sip of caffeine the entire nine months. My husband came to every appointment with me (except for maybe one or two), even the routine monthly ones. About 12 weeks in I painted the nursery gender neutral colors (we didn't know the sex yet) and had the crib, dresser, changing table, and other baby necessities set up and ready to go.

Pregnancy number two wasn't much different. I still tried to avoid caffeine and except for the days that I just couldn't bear the migraines at which point I'd drink a real coke, I didn't put caffeine in my body. My husband came to less appointments with me as we realized his presence wasn't necessary at every single weigh in and I still had the nursery set up and ready around the start of my second trimester. We knew we were having a boy so we bought clothes and blankets and sheets and other more "manly" gear. By the time he was actually born we had been ready for 5-6 months.

Oh, how things change! Here I am 22 weeks into pregnancy number 3 (5months) and while I don't drink a ton of caffeine I have usually one glass (usually in the form of a soda) of caffeine a day. My husband has come to exactly ONE prenatal appointment with me....the one where we found out the sex and while his absence would have bothered the crap out of me during pregnancy number 1, I could care less now, realizing it's inconvenient for him to take off work and really outside of the "major" appointments I don't need him there anyway. As far as the nursery goes.....we have done NOTHING! I did sort clothes once we found out we were having a girl but now those close are dumped in a massive pile in what is currently our home office but what needs to transform into a nursery. The thought of doing it is overwhelming. The cleaning, the moving of furniture, the painting, the organizing. It has to get done and I'm starting to have some anxiety issues about whether or not I'll finish it in the next few months, but I just don't even want to start.

And don't even get me started on the journals I planned to keep each pregnancy. With our daughter I wrote diligently, almost daily throughout her pregnancy. I wrote quite a bit during my son's pregnancy as well, although at this point I have no idea where that journal is. I realized the other day that I haven't written a word about number 3, so I ran out and bought a journal the other day that I figured I better start writing in before this pregnancy is over and there is no record of it.

At this pace if we have a fourth he/she'll be lucky if we remember to name him/her!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Domestic Disturbances

My husband and I don't argue a lot and when we do we make it a point to not do so in front of the kids. Today we had a bit of a verbal back and forth where voices were raised. The kids were in the backyard but had apparently come inside at some point and started hysterically crying upon hearing the argument. It broke my heart. They were scared and confused and clearly didn't like their mommy and daddy upset with each other.

It just made me think about kids who are raised in an environment where yelling, shouting, and fighting are the norm. I'm sure they get used to it to the point where it doesn't phase them or to the point where they no longer react, but that's sad in and of itself. No kid should ever have to get used to that.

The kids calmed down pretty quickly when I explained that mommy and daddy were just having a disagreement and that everything was fine, we all still loved each other. However, their response was enough to convince me that a home where fighting is the norm is no place for children. I've always been on the side of, "You don't get divorced, you work it out, especially if kids are involved." Today made me think though that if I were in a marriage that was constant fighting I'd do anything to protect my kids from that, including leave.

Do you make it a point to not argue in front of your child/children? How do your children handle spats between you and your spouse?