I started compiling these observations over the course of the past few weeks and for whatever reason just hadn't gotten around to posting them. I guess in light of recent disappointments now seems as good a time as any. I'm really not as cynical as most of these observations will imply, but it just seems that lately there is so much crap. You can't turn on the TV or get online without reading about some "mistake" of an individual. It seems that dealings with people in general are forced and empty. It makes me just want to lock myself inside with my husband and kids and forsake the drama of the world for a while.
Observation A: I think it is pretty standard practice that most humans expect to be treated a certain way. We want to be treated kindly, with courtesy and respect. We want others to be friendly and never cruel. We hope that others are honest with us and in dealings with us display loyalty and integrity. Isn’t it funny though how often times we don’t extend the same courtesy to others? It seems that a lot of times the people who become the most indignant when treated with less courtesy than they had expected are the same ones who rarely treat others with respect and dignity. They set impossible standards for others and yet they themselves fail to live up to the simplest of their own expectations. It’s a double standard that most of the time they fail to see. They expect to be treated a certain way, throw a fit when they are not, yet do not treat others anywhere close to the way they themselves want to be treated. Interesting!
Observation B: Some seem to treat family and friends and people in general like they are disposable. Constantly recycling through relationships every few years or months even. Most times it is always because the other person is "crazy" or "needy" or "strange". It seems to me that if you are dissolving friendships and terminating familial ties at an alarming rate and for superficial reasons that the problem may not be with them. I’m just sayin’.
Observation C: Giving and receiving apologies is a lost art form. People seem reluctant to give apologies when they really should. Why? I don’t know. Maybe they don’t want to appear weak or admit they were wrong. Then there are the people who go overboard with the apologies. For me, a simple, "I’m sorry. It won’t happen again" is sufficient. The flip side of that though is that people do a shitty job of receiving apologies. Half the time the one apologizing is met with, "Well, that’s just not good enough." It seems like many expect the offender to experience some type of indefinite period of penance to atone for whatever infraction they committed. If someone apologizes and they don’t repeat the infraction it would seem to a rational individual that the person and apology was sincere. If they repeat the infraction I guess you could assume they are not. It seems like it would just be easier to assume the person is sorry unless or until they give you a reason not to as opposed to presuming to judge the sincerity of the apology without giving the person a chance to make right what was wrong.
Observation D: I don’t understand people who can’t make a decision without consulting with their spouse or mother or father or best friend or mailman. Are they incapable of formulating a thought or opinion or making a decision all by themselves? I don’t mean when you say, "Well, I’m not sure if we are busy Friday night, let me check with my husband." I’m talking about people who cannot tell you if they believe a certain thing, if they like a certain product, if they approve of a certain method, etc. without first consulting with some part of their "inner circle." It is like until one of those mentioned above are consulted and deem it to be okay or helpful or beneficial or harmful it is not so. Doesn’t matter how many other people have told them the same thing. It doesn’t become relevant until that chosen person has offered his/her thoughts on the matter. It drives me nuts. I like independent thinkers.
Observation E: I often wonder how siblings who were raised in the same house by the same parents can turn out so differently. I understand the uniqueness of each as an individual, but I don’t always understand how some can differ so widely on core beliefs and values.
Observation F: There seems to be a lot of passing of blame these days. Very few seem capable of accepting responsibility for transgressions they have committed or feelings they may have hurt. It seems to be an epidemic. It seems that if you broach the topic with the person who hurt or offended you and try to explain the hurt or disrespect, they somehow find a way to dismiss your hurt and make it about them. They then find a way to manufacture feelings of hurt and conjure up all sorts of examples of how you are now disrespecting them by bringing up your feelings of hurt and disrespect. So your feelings are not only irrelevant and ignored, but now because you have brought to their attention your hurt you have now disrespected them. Hard to follow, isn’t it? Even harder to tolerate.
Observation G: When push comes to shove most human beings go to great lengths to help each other. You see this when tragedy strikes a community or in the instance of Katrina, which brought out the best and worst in human nature. I think we all have a natural instinct to help and protect one another when faced with extreme misfortune.
1 comment:
I don't think you appear cynical in this post. I think they are pretty keen observations. I can really identify with the observations on apologies. People don't apologize anymore, like it's somehow beneath them. It also seems, like you said, that no matter if someone apologizes are not people are often reluctant to accept it which means there is really nothing more that can be done then.
The observation about people who can't make their own decisions really resonated with me. I have a friend (who is 35, married with children) who consults her mother on everything. It's like her mother is the final authority. It is so annoying because she always begins sentences with, "My mom said..." Kind of like in Waterboy, haha. She even takes her mom's advice over that of her husband's or doctors or teachers.
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