Thursday, July 31, 2008

Jakob Dylan: Seeing Things

I bought the new Jakob Dylan CD "Seeing Things" earlier this week. It is a fantastic CD. It has a primarily acoustic sound to it, which I really like. I am a fan of the Wallflowers, for which Dylan is the lead singer, so I wasn’t sure if he was going to try to replicate that sound or stray from it. I’d have to say it is a compromise. A lot of the lyrics and melodies are reminiscent of the Wallflowers, but Dylan’s solo effort is not nearly as "poppy".

There are only 10 songs on the entire CD, most lasting 3 ½ minutes each. I can honestly say there is not a bad song on the entire CD. I have listened to it at least a dozen times now straight through and have never had the urge to skip over a song because it just wasn’t doing it for me. Track number 8, "Something Good This Way Comes" is a fantastic song and one you may be familiar with via the radio.

If you are looking for a solid CD Jakob Dylan has put forth a great effort. It is somewhat reminiscent of an early James Taylor album. Dylan’s voice is soothing, his lyrics are powerful, and the music is relaxing and meaningful.

Passion on the Side, Please!

My daughter starts a Tap and Ballet class in two weeks so we spent a lot of time this week driving all over town to get all of the necessary gear. For a kids’ class it sure requires quite a bit of "stuff". We had to purchase a dance bag, 3 leotards, 4 pairs of tights, tap shoes, elastic to replace the ties on the tap shoes as per the teacher’s instructions, ballet shoes, headbands and hair ties. I’m sure I am forgetting something.

Daughter is incredibly excited and talks about her dance class every day. It is our first attempt at an organized class for her. I’m eager to see how she does. I could care less whether she is good at dance or not (if she inherits anything from me or my husband I’m going to venture to say that dancing is not going to be her thing) as long as she enjoys it. I think at this age, exposure is the key. We are not of the philosophy that toddlers and preschoolers should be booked with wall to wall activities. She’s only taking dance and if she likes it she can continue next year. If not, we will try something else. I’d like to see her give Karate a try since it was something I loved as a child. Overall though, I just want her to experience different activities and then she can choose which one or ones she likes and wants to pursue.

Many assume that because I played college basketball I want the same for my children. I don’t. If basketball becomes their sport I will support them entirely. However, I’d feel the same if their interest were swimming, tennis, dancing, music, art, miming (haha), etc. I just want them both to feel passionately about something; to experience being part of a group that works together toward a common goal. I realize my kids are three and one and I’m looking a ways into the future. I just want them to enjoy what they do and do what they enjoy. I think, or at least I’d hope, that every parent feels the same way.

So what classes or activities are your kids involved in? Do they enjoy it?

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Recycle My Brother

I saw a very cool little girls' t-shirt today at Target. It was brown and had the circular arrow recycle sign in the middle in pink glitter. Then in yellow glitter it said, "Recycle My Brother." Just too cute. I just couldn't justify spending $9 on a kids' shirt.

Randy Pausch: The Last Lecture

I cried for a man I had never met. I was not the only one. Last week, Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon computer scientist, who became best known for his "Last Lecture" lost his courageous fight against pancreatic cancer and died. He was 47.

Carnegie Mellon was doing a lecture series called "The Last Lecture" where they invited people to come speak as if it were their last lecture. Prior to giving his speech, Pausch was diagnosed with cancer and told he had 3 to 6 months to live (he lived almost a year). He gave a speech entitled "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams" and instantly became an internet sensation. While many have been inspired by his words the speech was actually intended for only three people: the children he left behind. He wanted them to live life to the fullest, to enjoy life, to believe anything is possible. He wanted them to have something to remember him by.

I've watched his lecture and seen him on Oprah and a variety of other shows, most recently a Primetime Special last night. I am struck by his candor; he truly was an amazing man. He possessed incredible perspective in the face of extreme adversity. His wife is unbelievably strong. She repeatedly said that she had made peace with the fact that she faced a future without her husband and the father of her children. She didn't like it, but she accepted it. She is made of strong stuff than I am made of.

As I watched the video of him with his family it makes it that much more heartbreaking to think of the enormity of their loss. This is something that those three children will never truly recover from. They'll move on, but their lives with forever be altered. I could not fathom losing my husband and having to explain to my children why they no longer have a father who comes home every night and plays with them.

Pausch exhibited an incredible love for his wife and children and a constant joy of life even as his body failed. This is a man who made stuffed animals for his children as a way to remember him once he was gone. This is a man who let his children paint their rooms and encourages other parents to do the same. This is a man who will be missed not only by his family and friends but by the millions who were somehow touched and inspired by him.

Yes, we have cried for a man we never knew. We have cried for a man who will continue to inspire even though he is gone. We have cried for a man who while came to be known for the touching lecture he gave will be remembered for the life he lived, the way he loved, and the graceful way in which he died. For that his wife, children, parents, and other loved ones should forever be proud.

Gavin Rossdale: Wunderlust

Admittedly I was never a big Bush fan, but I did like a few of their songs. More really than their music I was a fan of Rossdale's voise. So, when I heard he came out with a solo CD I debated on whether I wanted to check it out. I went ahead and bought it. Upon first listen I was undecided. I really like track number 7, "Love Remains the Same", which is what was played on radio stations. My 3 year old is really into the song and when we get into the car asks to listen to "Gavin".

After many listens now over the course of the last week or so I have decided it's a good overall CD. If you are a huge Bush fan and looking for something that sounds like Bush you will be disappointed. It doesn't have the hard rocking edge that most Bush songs possess. There are a few that come close. This CD in a lot of ways reminds me of an Eddie Vedder CD. I'm a fan of Vedder, so that to me is a good thing.

Anyway, if you are looking for a solid CD with some good songs I'd recommend checking "Wunderlust" out. In a lot of ways I like Rossdale as a solo artist better than I did with him as frontman for Bush.

If you check it out, let me know what you think.

Monday, July 28, 2008


I realize this may sound extreme, but I assure you there is no need to panic. I can honestly say that I completely understand how people get so frustrated with a lack of service and the general stupidity of our population that they lose all self-control and show up with an AK47. It is for that reason, my ability to empathize with them, that I will never own a gun. (For the record, I wouldn't actually kill anyone; just shoot a few rounds into the shelves for effect).

The target of my disdain is pharmacies and the idiots employed by them. Specifically Walgreen’s and CVS. I spent 5 hours today driving all over this city in an attempt to fill my prescription. I did this toting around two young children in 100 + degree weather. Every place I went did not have the medication. Most offered to order it, but could not guarantee I’d get it before Wednesday or Thursday. My first attempt was at Walgreen’s. I dropped it off at 11 am and asked if it would be ready by noon. They assured me that it would be. I returned at 1:03 PM at which point I was told that they did not have the medication in stock. I asked why I wasn’t informed of this two hours ago when I dropped it off to which the bumbling moron had no reply. He offered to call around, which I accepted. We waited 35 minutes in the drive-thru and no one returned to update us. I parked, stormed into Walgreen’s, demanded my prescription back, blasted the pharmacist and pharmacy tech and then kicked a bottle of vitamins that had been on the floor on my way out. I am certain that I would not be welcomed back to that location.

My second attempt was Bashas, which told me that from the get-go they did not have it in stock, which was fine. I understand if they are out of something. It would be helpful to be told that sooner rather than later. Five hours later, my last attempt was at CVS. They informed me that they didn’t have it in stock and couldn’t order it for me anyway as my doctor didn’t specify whether or not he wanted me to have the Jr. (chewable) type, regular pills, or a smaller version of the pill for seniors. Apparently, because he did not write that out they refused to fill the prescription. It would stand to reason that because I am not a child or a senior that common sense would dictate he meant the standard pill. I suppose common sense is not a pre-requisite to becoming a pharmacist. I have attempted to fill prescriptions three times at CVS in the past year. All three times there has been some type of issue. My patience with them is very thin. They seem to have some of the stupidest employees on the planet, second only to Wal-Mart.

As it stands right now, I still have not been able to fill my prescription so I will spend another night being miserable and wait to call my doctor in the morning. I refuse to spend the rest of my night driving around attempting to hit the three remaining pharmacies I have not yet tried.


This weekend seemed really full and busy but I guess it really wasn’t more so than any other. I think the fact that I still feel like crap plays a part in that feeling. Daughter seemed to struggle a little bit. She wasn’t bad or anything, but just more sensitive than usual (I didn’t think that was possible) and more needy. I am not really sure what is going on, but it was a little more trying and exhausting as a result.

Saturday I went to the gym and left the kids in the child watch. They love it as they have made some friends and the usual week day staff is really great with them. They always make a big deal about our kids’ presence, especially Son’s. The weekend staff isn’t my favorite (I may post about it another time), but they were okay. As mentioned previously, I spendtthe remainder of the day taking care of Son who I am pretty sure had a concussion after two pretty significant falls on his head.

Sunday, hubby and I cleaned out our garage. One entire side has been filled with boxes and furniture for a year now (we had our house up for sale but recently took it down). So we had to decide what to keep, what to donate, what to toss, and what to try to sell at a yard sale we plan to have next weekend. It didn't take too long as I already had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to get rid of. We are getting rid of 98 percent of our baby stuff and pretty much all baby clothing. I’m not sure what this means. Part of me thinks it’s my subconscious letting me know I am done having kids. The other part thinks I just don’t want to have to store it for the next 2-3 years, which would be the amount of time before we decide to have another kid. Anyway, we then transported it all down to my grandmother’s. We make a killing at her house because she lives in an area close to the freeway so people from Mexico always come and load up their trucks full of stuff. We live in a pretty "white" neighborhood and yard sales just really don’t seem to be "the thing." The last two times we had one at her house we made no less than $500 each time. Not a bad three hours.

Son was still a little under the weather. On top of the head injury he has been teething forever. His molars are still rupturing through and in addition I discovered all four canine teeth are also popping through. So, with eight teeth making their way into this world, the poor guy must be miserable. By Sunday afternoon Daughter was complaining of pain in both of her feet. So much so that she didn’t walk the rest of the day. I don’t know what could have happened. There is no visible injury. It was painful enough to keep her up most of the night. This morning she is still complaining, but is able to walk. So, I guess I’ll wait it out. I then spent an hour at the doctor’s since I am just not getting better. Long story, but I will be on another round of medication for the next 2 weeks. If that doesn’t improve my condition I will be sent for a CT scan to see if I have polyps in my nose or throat or if I have a constant bacterial or sinus problem. Fun times let me tell you.

Now that I have realized I am rambling I will sign off. How was your weekend? Do anything fun or exciting?

Good Friends

I talked to two good old friends over the weekend who unfortunately I no longer live in close proximity to. I am really glad I got the chance to do so. It had been a few months since I’d spoken with either. After months of phone tag with both the stars seemed to align finally. One is a woman I went to college with and have known for about 11 years now. The other I worked with when I got my first teaching job, so I’ve known her about 8 or 9 years. They are both such positive people yet also grounded in reality. Talking with them made me miss them that much more. With my old work friend we compared notes on our children, as they are similar in age. With her there is never the "one upping" I referred to in a previous post. Conversation is easy and we both are genuinely happy for each other’s successes. My friend from college is pregnant with her first child and it is always fun to share in that excitement.
In talking with them today it made me re-realize a few things:
1. I miss living in the same city with these women and seeing them on a daily basis. They are so much fun.
2. Friendship is a two-way street and I am lucky that I have such wonderful, reciprocal relationships with them both.
3. I can’t imagine us ever not being friends. We have weathered disagreements, hurt feelings, petty arguments, and the like. Our friendship has always prevailed.
4. I am thankful that they are my friends. That is the bottom line.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Heading for Brain Damage

I took the kids over to my parents for a couple hours this morning after leaving the gym. My son became a walking disaster. He first fell head first into the sliding glass door, cutting the right side of his head a good 2-3 inches on the deadbolt latch that locks from the bottom corner of the door. That instantly swelled into a huge goose egg, was bleeding, and incredibly bruised. Fortunately, it is not deep and won't require stitches. Twenty minutes later he stumbled and fell head first onto a toy cash register, cutting the corner of his right eye which also bled and is now pretty swollen. Poor guy looks pretty beat up. He seems to be doing okay, but I swear if he has one more head injury he might have brain damage.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Quick Hits

* My son gets his feelings hurt so easily. It is heartbreaking. Fortunately he recovers quickly.
* My daughter displays greater logic and an uncanny ability to reason better than many adults I know.
* I wish older women and men would age gracefully. Some have so much cosmetic work done in an attempt to hold onto their youth they end up looking plastic and worse than they did before. Sometimes less really is more.
* That being said, when my boobs are done being working boobs and are no longer sustenance for my son or any future children I would love for a doctor to make them smaller and put them back to where they used to be.
* I am 25 lbs. lighter than I was 3 months ago. I still have a ways to go until I hit my target weight but I am proud of myself for the hard work I have done and for sticking with it this time.
* I hate the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child." NO, it takes parents who are willing to work hard and make sacrifices and not try to pawn their children off on everyone else.
* I am reading a book and in it this man is conversing with Jesus and Jesus says, "I'm not a Christian." Interesting if you really take the time to think about that. Makes sense once you do.
* My daughter is having a rough day today in the sense that she needs a lot of reassurance. Wondering what brought this on...If reassurance and comfort is what she needs then that is what she'll get.
* Had a terrific time at the Children's Museum today. Both kids had a blast and I walked out with the year long membership.

Obama Versus McCain

I am truly at a loss for whom to vote for in the upcoming Presidential election. I don’t like John McCain at all and object to the vast majority of his policies and beliefs. He has done little good for the people of Arizona over the years so I have little confidence that he would do any better for the people of the United States. On the other hand, I don’t quite trust Barak Obama. Personally, he seems to be the one more likely to unify the polarized parties of our nation, but I am concerned about his beliefs and lack of experience.

I have voted in every presidential election since I became old enough to vote. However, this may be the first time I choose not to vote for either and just let the cards fall where they may. I just don’t know if in good conscious I could vote for either.

What do you think? Are you truly sold on either candidate? Do you always vote your party?


If you tell a joke and it flops then you are in trouble. If you tell a joke and they happen to laugh you are a star. It’s just perspective.

Thursday, July 24, 2008


Leaving the gym today both kids fell asleep in the car, which is unheard of as my daughter gave up naps months ago and my son usually fights sleep to the death. I was meeting some family members for breakfast and had time to kill so I just pulled over to let them sleep. I’m watching them through the rearview mirror and I just can’t get over how peaceful and serene they look. I get this sudden sense of panic at times when I see them this still. I picture poor, innocent children who have died and imagine their parents having to look at them in a small coffin. (Why this horrible thought comes to mind I don’t know. Something for a therapist to dissect I suppose). My heart breaks and I cannot even go there with my own children. It is too painful to even imagine.

I am reading this book right now called The Shack (I’ll post a full review upon completion) and I’ve had trouble getting through it. Not because it isn’t interesting…it is, but because of the painfulness of the content. Without giving too much away, a six-year-old girl is kidnapped and presumed to have been killed. The story is about the father’s constant sadness and overwhelming guilt, and the effect that has had on his relationship with God. How this plays out is devastatingly heartbreaking, but comforting as well. As a parent you cannot help but put yourself in his shoes. My world would crumble if anything were to ever happen to my children. I truly don’t know if I could go on. I am amazed by the strength of parents who have suffered the loss of a child but have somehow not only found the will to go on, but the ability to put that horrendous tragedy into amazing perspective. They are much stronger than I. Of that I am certain.

I am brought back to my kids’ reflections in the mirror. I sit in awe of how gorgeous they are. Not in simply the aesthetic sense, though they are certainly gorgeous on the outside, but the beauty of their innocence. The pure joy they express towards things that captivate them. Our world would be such a better place if adults could reclaim some of that lost innocence and joyous amazement at the world around us. Here’s to hoping. For now though I’ll just pray that my children are kept safe and that they never lose their awe of life.

The Good Old Days

People refer to the 1960’s as the "good old days." If you really stop to think about that you must ask whom they were truly good for. I’ve come to the conclusion that they were good for white men. They certainly weren’t good for women. Women couldn’t get jobs, their identities were intertwined with their husbands, and sexual harassment was tolerated. Only then being called, "sweet heart" or having your ass grabbed wasn’t sexual harassment. Joy Behar, from the View, has been quoted as saying that while in high school in the 1960’s she was giving a presentation on subject/verb agreement. After class she asked her teacher how she did. He said, "I don’t know, but I could have nailed you right then against that blackboard." She thought he was repulsive and went and told her girlfriend and that was the end of it. She said she never even thought to report it. If that were to happen today that teacher would be arrested, as he most definitely should be. The 1960’s also weren’t good for minorities. They couldn’t vote, had a hard time finding work, and were treated like second class citizens at best. People have a tendency today to view those times with this weird haze of nostalgia but forget all the struggles people had. They are people who have a delusional sense of what the true reality was back then. People mostly equate that time with good family values but forget about the suppression of rights that went along with that.

There is a series on AMC called Mad Men that is supposedly about the 60’s and the struggle people went through. I have not seen an episode, but I’d like to. I think it is interesting how decades after the fact certain time periods are glorified but those that remember living during that time period often do not look back on it with a sense of great joy or nostalgia. They remember it for what it was and often times what it was was difficult and tumultuous.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

One Up

What is the deal with people who constantly feel the need to "one up" everyone else? It is an epidemic in our society. If someone says, "My husband/wife is so loving and patient. He's/She's the best." Someone else then feels the need to counter with, "Oh, my husband/wife is the best there is." Or someone compliments their children and then another feels the need to point out how great they think their children are. There seems to be an absense of genuine or spontaneous expression.

Admittedly I am competitive with a lot of things. However I don't like the game of "My family is better" or "My life is better" that so many seem to play. It also begs the question of why others feel the constant need to top others. Is something lacking in their own life? Is there an insecurity that they are trying to mask? I think it is funny as so many attempt to be clever and play this game without trying to look like they are playing. Or they play it with people who could give a damn about "keepin' up with the Joneses".

It's just a funny observation I've had lately and it just makes me wonder why people feel the need to do this. I love my family and I will tell anyone who listens, but I don't proclaim to love my family any more than you love yours. I think my husband is a good man and the best husband to me. That doesn't disqualify your belief that your husband is the best husband to you. It's just strange that so many seem to have this compulsive need to make their life, their kids, their spouse better than anyone else's.

Any thoughts?

Michael Savage Speaks on Autism

Michael Savage, the Republican pundit and radio host, recently said during one of his shows that he felt many parents hoped for an autism diagnosis for their children so they would then have an excuse for unruly behavior. He claimed that many just weren’t doing their jobs and parenting their children and if they would they really wouldn’t be autistic.

When there was then an outcry as a result of his comments he backpedaled saying he meant those who "fake autism" or who are misdiagnosed with autism. But that is not what he said. What he should have said is, "I’m sorry. I spoke before I thought. Upon further reflection, this is what I meant….."

Many are now calling for him to be fired from his job. That won’t happen because he did what he is paid to do. Shoot from the hip and stir up controversy. He’s not paid to deal in facts. He’s paid to deal in stereotypes and mass hysteria. Apparently, he has lost sponsorship as a result. Truly, I don’t think he should lose his job for his comments. It is free speech after all. That does not mean that I agree in the slightest with what he said. I find his comments to be ignorant and offensive, especially to those parents who have autistic children. It certainly can’t be easy.

Some friends of ours have an autistic son who is 9 years old. He is severely autistic. He cannot speak and he has frequent emotional outburst that nobody can control. His parents are loving, caring, and attentive parents. They do the best they can, but their son’s behavior is entirely unpredictable. That doesn’t make them bad parents. Parents have a difficult job already; parents of children with special needs have even more of a challenge. People like Michael Savage who spout their ignorance to a mass market are truly the ones who need to be told, "Don’t act like a moron."

Hubby is a Funny Guy

My husband works in car sales and the past few months his manager has been pressuring him to buy a mini-van that has been on the lot for a while. I am not a mini-van fan at all, but husband still brought it home for me to test out. When he returned it the following day his manager asked him what I thought. He told him that I was not a fan, so it was going to be a no. Manager jokingly replied, "Hey, don't you wear the pants in the family?" My quick witted hubby responded, "Yep, and she lays them out for me every morning." Manager peed his pants.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Letter to My Sweet, Sensitive Son

To My Handsome Little Boy,
You overflow with love and joy. I’ve never seen a happier baby or a more good-natured soul. I love when you throw your arms around my neck and give me kisses. Or when you "peck off" my nose but practically claw my face off. For such a big, strapping, manly boy you are so sensitive and tender hearted. It is one of the characteristics I love the most about you. Your personality is constantly emerging and it is so exciting to watch to see the type of little kid you are becoming. For being so young you are incredibly intuitive. You pick up on the feelings and moods of your parents and sister. That empathy will serve you well. You are smart as a whip too. You pick up on things incredibly quickly and while you have a limited vocabulary you understand the majority of what is asked or told of you. You are such a cuddle bug and I love nothing more than just lying with you snuggling and jabbering away. One can’t help but be in a good mood around you. I often wondered when I was pregnant with you how I could love another child as much as I love your sister. When you were born my love grew exponentially. I will always love you. I am proud of the little boy you are and the one you are becoming and look forward to see the man you will one day be.

You have the chubbiest little cheeks that I love to nibble on. You have the most angelic looking face with your big blue eyes and (reluctant to admit this) red-blonde curls. Your smile takes up your entire face and it is contagious. You are the cutest boy I’ve ever laid my eyes on.

My sweet handsome boy, you bring such overwhelming joy to our lives it is hard to imagine a time without you in them. I love you dearly and love being your mommy.

Open Letter to My Daughter

My Dear Sweet Baby Girl,
Words cannot even begin to express how proud I am to be your mommy. If God allowed me to pick out any little girl I wanted, it would always be you. I couldn’t have dreamed up a more perfect creation. It seems that the older you get the harder it is to find the right words to accurately encapsulate who you are, your personality, and your spirit. I love everyday with you. It is a journey. Sometimes a challenging journey, but one that I willingly embark on. You have so many great characteristics: You are loving, compassionate, independent, and strong-willed. I love how inquisitive you are, constantly asking questions. Your mind is like a sponge. I am constantly amazed at the wealth of knowledge you are able to retain. Your father and I sit in awe as we see the wheels turning in your precious little head. I love your eccentric personality. You are your own, independent person and that is exactly what I desire for you to be. The pressure of your peers does not sway you. You do not depend on them for your identity. I delight in your love of music. You spend hours a day singing both songs you have made up and songs that we listen to in the car or at home. Your ability to remember the words and sing the tune with the correct intonations is impressive. It melts my heart when you sing your brother to sleep, often then falling asleep yourself. I love how you will randomly declare that you love me while giving me a hug and kiss. You always seem to know just when I need that the most. You are a sensitive soul and I love you for that. I am so proud of you and I always will be. There is nothing you could ever to that would make me love you any less. I know as you get older we will have our differences and disagreements, but you will always be my baby and nothing you could ever do would ever change that. As you get older I watch you grapple with so many new emotions. I am proud of you for being able to express how you feel.

My dear sweet girl, this letter does not even scratch the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my adoration and love for you. There is not a word in the English language that comes close to accurately describing my feelings for you. You are my first born, my daughter. You always will be. As I check in on you sleeping so soundly and peacefully it shocks me to realize three years have gone by. You are such a little girl and no longer a baby. You have developed a personality that is all your own and it is a personality I admire and respect. You are beautiful! Big blue eyes, gorgeous blonde hair, and one of the most expressive faces I have ever seen.

I don’t know what prompted this letter today other than the fact you are growing up and it is with both joy and sorrow that I realize this.

Just know that I love you and always will!


Why We Treat Each Other So Badly

Random Thoughts

* I have such a headache today and it won't go away.
* Son copies everything Daughter does. It is adorable and often times quite impressive.
* Apologies are hard to come by these days....more on this later.
* We don't allow the TV on during dinner. To be honest it is hardly ever on anyway when the kids are awake. Lately, my husband has been tuning into sporting news as I'm making dinner. As soon as the food is on the plate and I call everyone to the table my daughter declares, "Gotta shut the TV off, papa. We don't watch that during dinner. It's the rules." More often than not she then runs over to turn the TV off. It cracks me up every single time.
* My daughter is starting a ballet class next month. She is so incredibly excited. She has been showing me her "ballet moves" since she "practices" so she'll be ready. Dance class isn't really my thing, but if she's into it, then I'm all for it.
* If your family operated like a reality show who would you "vote off" or eliminate? What criteria would you use to make that determination?
* My husband, like all of us, has a lot of flaws. One of his virtues though is that he has always been kind and decent to members of my family. He's always treated them with respect. For that I am appreciative because not everyone can say that.
* It was a hot day today and humid. I really do live in the wrong state.

Trip to the Museum

I took the kids to our local Wildlife Museum this morning. We haven't been in close to a year, so it's really the first time our son has gone that he was aware of. We had a great time!

My daughter is so inquisitive and wanted to know all about each animal and where it lived and what it ate. After reading about every display I am certain that I could land a gig as a docent. I'd insist on wearing one of those super cool vests. Son was so excited about the enormity of the animals and the fact that he could touch most I thought he was literally going to explode. He stood there marching in place, spinning in circles, shrieking he was so excited. He went from room to room shouting, "Mama, that!" and pointing at each display.

It was a good day to get away from all the other issues going on and spend time with my kids having fun. They really do view the world through different eyes and it is nice to be reminded of that and glimpse portions of our world through their eyes.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Freedom of the Press: Our 1st Amendment Right

The blessed 1st amendment guarantees us the right to freedom of religion, free press, free speech, the right to petition and assembly. The second amendment ensures us the right to bear arms. As the amendments continue we are ensured of many more rights. It is these rights that as an American I value yet are often taken for granted.

We want the freedom of press and speech as long as it doesn’t offend. Once it does then people start crying for censorship. We want the right to assemble until it becomes disorderly, then people call for arrests to be made. People want guns and want to be able to get them with as little red tape as possible and if anyone tries to suggest otherwise it essentially incites a riot.

Americans are funny people though. When it suits our needs we cling tight and spout the constitution. However, when we are the ones offended by certain things we have no problem asking or demanding that others sacrifice or abandon their constitutional rights for their benefit. Here’s the thing. I don’t always agree with what others do, but if they are within their rights I would not ask them to sacrifice those rights. So many though equate their disapproval with the need to stomp on the rights of others. It is truly a double standard that is played out day after day.
I don’t know why the same people who cling to the constitution and demand their own rights are the ones who are so eager to take away the constitutional rights of others. Just a little food for thought.

***As warned I have posted a slew of writings these past few days. Some of the things posted I’d written a while ago, but most are new. It’s been a rough week and I’m emotionally and physically exhausted. There just seems to be such crap and drama on a daily basis that I can hardly take it anymore. It makes me just want to hole up in my house and never come out and have to deal with anyone. On that note, I am going to drag my exhausted and frustrated ass to bed and be thankful for the husband and children I have. I’m thankful that I live in a country where we have freedoms and liberties even though most of the time it may not feel that way and even though on a daily basis I feel like we must fight to protect these liberties that are in constantly under attack and in jeopardy of being snatched from us. Good night and God bless!

Poem on a Day of Criticism

This is a blog of my own thoughts;
some are deep and some are not.
I write about the things I see
that make me laugh or bother me.

It is a blog; there are no rules.
You just need a brain and computer as tools.
Some words I write are apt to offend
and to you my apologies I do extend.

But I won't stop writing, it's what I do
read with caution is my advice to you.
I don't have much to call "just mine"
so writing's my art, my earthly sublime.

To all of you who loyally read
thanks for your support; it's what I need.
I write for me, it's what I do,
so I say thanks for being you!

Toy Guns

I will preface this by saying that I completely realize that people have differing and very strong beliefs about gun control. Personally, I see both sides of the issue and to be honest don’t entirely fall on one side or the other. This post isn’t really about gun control though because I really don’t care what side of the issue anyone falls on. However, it has been bugging me a lot lately that gun play with children is so prevalent. I realize it’s been that way for virtually ever. Kids have played Cowboys and Indians and Cops and Robbers since the beginning of time, I am sure. I’m still uncomfortable with it.

We don’t have a gun, either real or fake, in our home. My husband had a rifle, which when we had children, I insisted he keep it in a storage unit. He never shoots and hasn’t for probably 10 years. My three-year-old doesn’t even know what a gun is. It’s not even in her vocabulary. If you put one in her hand she wouldn’t know what to do with it. My parents have a huge super soaker gun that was one of my brothers when he was a kid. My daughter calls it a saxophone and pretends to play music out of it. That’s just fine with us. I am really uncomfortable with the idea of my kids playing with guns. I don’t like them and I like even less that such a deadly weapon is treated as a toy.

It becomes difficult though when you go to gatherings with friends or family where their children play with guns and run around shooting each other, exclaiming, "You’re dead." How do you shield your child from that without appearing rude, judgmental, or superior? It is, afterall, their home and their decision. But at the same time it is not something I want my kid participating in or even being exposed to.

I can’t help but wonder that with all of this exposure if there is a relationship between that and why kids these days seem to have a difficult time deciphering between what is real and what is not. They seem to be desensitized to violence. Parents can claim all they want that they teach their children the difference. But it must be acknowledged that the more the lines are blurred the sense of respect and healthy sense of fear or danger that that type of weapon should elicit lessens or becomes non-existent.

I guess I don’t understand that in a society that is already so violent why we would want to encourage our children to play violent games with violent weapons. I’m all about your second amendment right to bear arms. I don’t have any moral objection to adults, who have been properly trained and licensed and who have a healthy respect for the killing power of guns, to own guns. I do object to my children playing with guns, though. Many critics say that guns aren’t illegal or that guns don’t kill people, people kill people. But let’s be honest. When kids play with guns what are they pretending to do? Kill each other. Is that a game I really want my children playing? Is that something that I want them to take lightly? Kids, especially as young as mine, do not understand the permanence of death. By playing these types of games doesn’t it just reinforce the type of behavior we later spend our time trying to reverse? Violence, lack of sympathy, inability to cope with or understand death are prevalent in our teenage and young adult communities. Do they acquire these deficits as kids? What do you think? Do you let your children play with toy guns? Are you bothered with all of the violent games and toys that seem to be on the market?

My Ob/Gyn Confession

I am certain that I have made mention of how much I adore my ob/gyn. I don't know if words can adequately express my adoration for him. There are not many women who look forward to their annual exam, but I am one of them, primarily because of him. Now this is not some sick, sexual fantasy or anything like that. He is just a genuinely nice guy, who is attentive and compassionate and funny. Today was the day for my annual. My husband has been making fun of me because I have been excited for a week now. I actually get nostalgic driving by his office because I think about how often I got to go and visit when I was pregnant...a lot of that nostalgia has to do with the obvious excitement of being pregnant and all that that entails.
Anyway, we were discussing different birth control options and he asked if we planned to have another child. I said that we were not sure, but if we did it would be at least another 1-2 years. I don't know what made me say this...a momentary episode of tourettes, I suppose, but I followed that by saying, "Because I have to be able to come and see you of course." He totally blushed. Then he inspected my vagina.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Toxic Cover

Check out Nickelcreek's cover of Britney Spears' "Toxic". Funky with the mandolin.

Comfortably Numb Cover

Great cover of Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb" performed by Dar Williams and Ani DeFranco. Absolutely gorgeous!

Billy Jean

Chris Cornell does a great cover of Michael Jackson's "Billy Jean." Check it out.


When did our world become so anti-kid? It seems like most people now look at families with children with such disgust, like how could we dare be so brazen as to bring our children out in public. My husband and I are VERY conscious of how our children behave in public and we do not take them to restaurants or other establishments where they could potentially be a distraction. I think we are almost conscious of it to a fault, oftentimes avoiding certain places that others with children would not think twice about bringing their kids to. There is nothing that is more annoying than having "date night" at a fancy restaurant and being seated next to the family with four kids. I’m not talking about that type of anti family snobbery. I’m talking about just existing in public. Like the mall. I understand that most people think their children are well behaved, but my husband and I are realists. We know when our children are acting like spawns of Satan and when they are just being kids…or better than that, behaving much better than any other kid their ages would ever act. As a whole, in public, our children are extraordinarily behaved. They sit still in restaurants; they don’t run around or yell or cry. They don’t dash through all the racks at stores. They sit in the stroller or my daughter walks, holding my hand. However, despite this it is still amazing the looks we get (usually from the over 65 crowd) for basically daring to procreate. What is with this new attitude? At first I was self-conscious thinking that maybe my kids are doing something that I am just not aware of. However, I started to watch other families, specifically mothers, out with their children in very public places. They too were getting, "The Look". Their kids weren’t behaving poorly either. It seemed like the only problem these people had with "Us" (those that dared to bring our kids out) is that we had children. So, let’s hear it. Do you have a similar experience? Do you often feel as if you should feel bad because you took your kids out? Now, it just makes me mad and makes me realize that the problem is with their crotchety old selves and not me, my husband, my children, or the millions of other families out there who find it fun to spend time with their children.

Working For a Living

So here’s something interesting that I read. Today 70 percent of women work outside the home. It made me start thinking about all the reasons women choose to work rather than stay home. I entirely understand if financial circumstances mandate that you hold a paying job. There are single moms out there that have to work to support their children. There are married moms who have to work to help support the family. What I don’t’ understand is those women who clearly do not have to work…their husbands make more than enough money for them to live comfortably, some even extravagantly, yet those women choose to go back to work. Here’s my deal: I don’t have some superior attitude that stay at home mom’s are somehow better or love their kids more than moms who work outside the home, but I do think that if you are able to stay home without going into debt why wouldn’t you? If you don’t want to stay home with them, why have them? We know a couple whose husband makes over 350K a year. They live in a huge house, drive fancy new cars, have top of the line everything. Prior to having kids she worked making 250K a year. She went back to work after 6 months because they couldn’t figure out how to "downsize" their lives. Really? Trade the Mercedes for a Nissan or Toyota. Move out of the 5 million-dollar home to a 1 million-dollar home. There are ways. When the average household is making do with 40K a year it seems ludicrous that someone would exchange time with their child, time they won’t get back, to make money that is not truly needed.

Energy Efficient Patrol

Husband was changing light bulbs today upstairs. Our daughter was watching him and as he installed them would ask, "Is that an energy efficient bulb, papa?"

Pink Cowboy Boots

I bought my daughter her first pair of cowboy boots about a year ago at Children's Place for $1.99. She loved them and wore them everywhere. Since then she has obviously outgrown them so she informed me the other day that she wanted her new pair to be pink. Today we ventured over to our local Western store and lo and behold they have pink boots...for adults too....which my daughter begged me to get so I could have boots just like hers. (Needless to say, I did not get myself a pair of cowboy boots, let alone a pink pair). Anywho, my daughter left the store strutting in her new pink boots.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Fair Versus Equal

Last week, prior to all of us getting sick, a friend of mine came over for the afternoon. She has three boys, aged 5, 3, and 1. My son was in hog heaven to be around so much testosterone. He really is a guy’s guy. It was interesting watching the way he interacts with other little boys vs. the way he interacts with his sister. Even at this young of an age there is a difference. It’s like they know naturally to be more gentle when playing with girls and much more rough and aggressive when playing with other little boys. Likewise, my friend’s sons, who have little exposure to girls, seemed almost in awe of my daughter. That initial awestruck moment soon disappeared as they got down to the business of playing. My daughter was just happy to be playing with other kids her age; it didn’t matter if they were boys or girls. Although she does play differently in some regards when she plays with boys versus her female cousins or friends.

Which brings me to my point. There are obvious innate differences in the sexes from the start. People spend so much time fighting either for or against equal rights. It should be obvious to all that men and women are different. We have different needs and wants. I don’t think we should necessarily be treated equal, but we should all be treated fairly. People make the assumption that if they are not treated equally or the same it is somehow unfair. It’s not. Equality and fairness are separate issues, but often interchanged, especially in our politically correct charged society. I let my 3-year-old stay up until 8pm, sometimes 9 PM, but my 1-year-old goes to bed by 7. Is it equal? No, but it’s fair. Does everyone on high school or college sports teams get equal playing time? No, but they get fair (usually) playing time based on their talent and work ethic and ability to help the team. As a teacher you hear students complain all the time about certain rules or assignments not being fair. I think teachers especially try extra hard to be fair, but what students and often times parents don’t understand is that does not always mean equal.

I think if we as a society spent more time focused on treating all fairly as opposed to equally we’d have much less to worry about. It is virtually impossible to treat everyone equally. There are just too many moving parts, too many variables, to take into account. However, a considerable effort can be made to treat all fairly. I think if that effort is made people would be surprised at the success and would end up feeling much better about their circumstances.

Mass Postings

Sorry for the mass postings. When the kids sleep I write. So, I have been sitting on some of these pieces for a while, not really sure what I am waiting on. Anyhow, I decided to just start posting them. There will be more tonight and multiple ones in the coming days, so consider yourself warned.

International Adoption

I get the impression that it is chic to adopt from other countries. I’m not entirely sure I understand the reason, but somehow many view it to be much cooler to go and adopt a Malawi baby or Vietnamese baby than it is to adopt just a "plain ol’" American baby. I know there are beaurocratic hoops to jump through in the United States that take years. I also think it is much easier to complete an adoption in another country. For some reason there seems to be a more expedited process in other countries. I don’t know if this is necessarily a good thing, but I do think we need to change our current system in the United States. I ultimately wish more would adopt from our own country. There needs to be extensive adaptations to our system to help expedite the process without sacrificing all the necessary legalities to give children in our country homes with loving parents.

It breaks my heart to think about kids going to bed at night, feeling like they don’t belong or are unloved. My kids frustrate me and there are times they flat out drive me crazy. There are times we go rounds in the battle of the wills department, but my kids always know, without a doubt that they are loved unconditionally by their father and me. They know they are safe and secure. They know that there is nothing they could ever do that would cause me to love them any less. They are secure enough to act out, to misbehave, to express themselves, to show vulnerability, to demonstrate compassion and know that they are loved and supported. All kids should have that.

If I were desperate for a child and I knew it would take 2 years for anything to happen here but it would take 6 months if I went overseas it becomes a no-brainer. Unfortunately, the ones that suffer are children in the US orphanages and foster care. There has got to be a better way. I don’t know what that is; I don’t have the legal expertise or social welfare experience. However, there are people out there that do.

Celebrate Motherhood

Let’s all admit it. I do it. You do it. What is this thing we all do, you might ask? Judge! Criticizing others has become commonplace. The constant critical nature of our society has really gotten wearing.

Right now I’m speaking specifically of the judgement we mothers display against other mothers. You might see a mother allow her child soda at dinner and think, "Man, I’d never let my kid have that much sugar." Or another mother witnesses a friend spanking her child and you think, "Wow, I’d never hit my kid like that." Or you witness a kid in full tantrum mode at the mall and the mother is desperately trying to keep her cool and you mutter, "Thank god my kid doesn’t act like that in public" all the while forgetting the huge meltdown your kid had in the middle of Target just a few short weeks ago. We might not agree with certain parenting techniques or condone strategies employed, but that should not result in the total condemnation of that mother’s parenting skills.

Why do we as mothers feel the need to put other mothers down in order to validate our own competence as mothers? Why do we feel the need to be quick to criticize or condemn women who are in the same boat we are in? Why can’t we encourage and celebrate other mothers and their failures and triumphs? Why can’t we view them as our allies and not our competition? There is such a negativity and competitiveness surrounding motherhood these days. It doesn’t matter if you are a stay at home mom or a mom who works outside of the house or one who has a paying job that allows you to work at home. Ultimately we are all the same. We are all trying to raise our children the best way we know how. It may not always be the right way or always the way if given the opportunity to do it again we’d repeat. But we get through day by day, learning from our mistakes and remembering what was successful in the past.

We need to support one another more. Motherhood can be a very lonely and isolating experience. It can also be an experience where new friendships are foraged and communities are made. But in order to create these friendships and allow ourselves to be a part of these communities we must celebrate other mothers. While criticizing may draw you together at first it will eventually isolate you as you soon realize those you aligned yourself with will soon turn on you. It’s just a matter of time until you dare do something different; thus becoming deemed a bad mom. We must instead encourage each other and quit judging or criticizing each other so harshly.

Imagine how empowering it would be to be surrounded by other women all raising children and instead of worried about back stabbing and petty disagreements you were showered with love and support; affirmations and encouragement. What a difference that would make.

Barefoot, Pregnant, and in the Kitchen...Revised to Protect the Overly Sensitive

I completely support the desire and what many perceive to be the higher calling of being a stay at home mom. After all, I am one. I feel like my children are only this young once and I want to be the one who raises them, instills our values in them, and is around to witness all of their firsts. I also understand there are many women out there, both single and married, who have to work; they have no choice. I do not fault them at all or look at them like they are somehow less of a mother. That being said I also kind of feel like if you are fortunate enough to be able to stay home without going into financial ruin, you really should.

I say all of that to give you a little background about a conversation I had this week. She too is a stay at home mom. Her husband’s brother is in real estate and with the current market he isn’t making much money. His wife is in the medical field and right now is pretty much the sole provider. This woman and her husband were talking critically of his brother and wife because basically the wife works all of the time and the hubby just hangs out with his parents. The criticism they had was that she should have never gotten a degree with such high earning potential because when they have children there is no way she will be willing to give that job up to stay home. A friend then suggested that the hubby be a stay at home dad, since most likely the wife would always make more money then he would, to which they scoffed. I sat there silent and stunned. I was shocked that they would criticize this young woman for excelling academically, getting a job she liked, and was now working extra hours to support her family since her husband was virtually unemployed. There was very little criticism placed on the hubby. I was really stunned at the sexist ignorance of the "logic" behind their criticism. My friend asked this woman what the wife should do. If she didn’t work they’d lose their car, house, go into debt, etc. Her response was that they should live off whatever salary the hubby was making (this year he’s made in the ballpark of 10K in contrast to her approximate 150K) even if that meant living in a trailer because after all it is the woman’s role to stay home regardless of the financial situation of the family (keep in mind that this couple currently has no children).

The conversation continued to go downhill from there with the gist being that the husband should work, even though right now he has very little work, and the wife should not have been so brazen as to ever pursue an advanced degree. At no point was there the suggestion that maybe the hubby should get off his apparently uninspired bum-bum (for those of you offended by harsher language) and find a different job that could provide for his family. After all, $8 an hour at Circle K is better than nothing. I really am just so flabbergasted by the entire conversation that I don’t even know entirely how to respond. This woman and her husband thought my friend and I were nuts for defending the woman who pursued her degree in medicine.

So, what do you think?


I got a blackberry (and yes, I realize I am behind the times in the world of iphone just isn't in the budget right now). Anyway, my 19 year old brother who has just purchased a new iphone is all caught up in his Apple Snobbery. I asked him for his address (keep in mind this conversation is being had through text messaging), as he just moved out of my parents house. Being a smart ass he asked why; I told him I was entering it into my blackberry. He says in response, "Blackberry? Ha. My iphone laughs at that." I don't know why I found that so funny, but I did. I think because he has given a personality and voice to his phone, which he apparently views as an extension of himself.

Tender Moment During Incredible Discomfort

The medications I am on are wreaking havoc on my stomach. Unbelievable cramping and pain. Last night I was so miserable and then on top of that I was having horrible coughing fits. This coughing went on for close to 45 minutes. All the commotion woke my daughter who came into our room. She saw me all curled up in a fetal position on the bed, moaning and coughing, and said, "Mommy, are you okay." I told her that I was, but that I was just not feeling very well. She crawled up next to me on the bed, put her head on mine, and started patting my back saying, "Shh, it's okay mommy. You're okay. I love you mommy."

Friday, July 18, 2008


*Son loves baths. He’d live in the bathtub. Likewise, Daughter loves the swimming pool. She’d live there if we’d allow her to.

*Son does this new dance when he marches in place and spins waving his arms. It is hysterical. Looks like one of the Spanish guys that holds the flag and taunts the bull.

*I told my hubby the other day that I sort of, kinda like the name Angus. He says, "As in a burger or steak?" I said, "Yeah, I guess." He just shook his head and walked away. I guess that is a no. For the record it is highly unlikely that I’d ever name my son that, but for some reason it is intriguing to me.(Stop laughing)

*I am convinced that my husband intentionally does things half-assed in the hopes that I will then just takeover the few duties that he has. Not gonna happen, mister. For example, son rubbed vaseline all over his hair today. Hubby gave son bath and did not make sure to get all vaseline out. His head is completely greasy and disgusting. I told hubby he’d need to redo it. His response, "Well, aren’t you going to help me?" Nope. I would have gotten it all out the first time, my dear. So, he is currently trying to hold our son’s head under the sink faucet to scrub it out. I would have just put him back in the bath. Would have been much easier.

*I’m disillusioned with politics. Those of you who read this blog know that I am not a Democrat or Republican. However I STRONGLY feel that the only way our country has any chance of improving things like education, heath care, and our economy is to not elect another Republican to the White House. That’s the bottom line.

*My roommate my freshman year in college was a friend and teammate of mine. Very quickly we discovered that we probably should not have chosen to live together. One of our biggest issues was her use of a floor fan. She said she needed it to sleep, but it was so loud it kept me up all night. We fought about it daily and it got to the point where we’d lock each other out of the dorm room. Our coach finally had to mediate and we came up with a schedule. She’d get a night where she could keep the fan on high, the next night I could choose to keep it off or turn it on low. We started referring to it as "High Nights" and "Low Nights". We eventually started fighting about which nights were which as we’d lose track or she’d think one wouldn’t count because she missed her night while sleeping at a boyfriends house. This situation was very distressing at the time. Looking back now it is pretty hysterical.

Funny and Cute

I was holding Son and asked Daughter to hand me my cell phone that was on her bedroom floor. She picked it up and said, "I sure wish I could have one of these when I'm older." I said, "Well, when you are a big girl you'll probably have one of these." Her response? "I love you mommy."

Victim Number Three, That's Me

I do not know for sure but I am fairly certain that my family has single handedly kept Urgent Care in business. In the past five days we have spent 355 big ones between Urgent Care, doctor’s visits, and pharmacy purchases. Talk about an unexpected expense. Daughter and Son are still very sick and not getting much better at all. I now am the latest victim. I haven’t felt well for a while. Then there was the whole bout of laryngitis. On Wednesday night I began feeling pretty bad (sore throat, earache, pretty congested, painful and unproductive cough) and by Thursday morning my ear was killing and I could barely swallow. I also woke up with my eyes swollen and completely matted shut with greenish goop and stinging like hell. By that night the pain in my ear was so excruciating it hurt to move, talk, swallow, essentially even just exist. At 6:30 PM I finally went to Urgent Care. An hour later and more miserable than I’ve been in a long time, I left armed with four prescriptions to treat a severe ear infection, sinus infection, bronchitis, strep throat, and pink eye. I really just wanted to curl up and die. I went home and crawled into bed and slept for 30 solid minutes (anyone with sick kids knows this is a lot)before both kids started waking up because they too are miserable.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Cool Side Effect

So, I got my voice back today but it is really deep and raspy. If I try to sing (not advisable as it sends me into coughing fits) I think I sound a lot like Stevie Nicks. That could just be the sickness talking.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Mommy Club

So I was thinking about something yesterday. I know, stop the press! Why does it seem that the people who have the least knowledge or experience on a certain subject seem to be the people who offer the most advice on said subject? For example, everyone seems to be an "expert" on children and parenting. There is always someone, somewhere willing to tell anyone who will listen why his/her way is the best way. I’m all for helpful advice, especially from people who are in the exact same boat. However, what grates me is that people who don’t have children or who have limited experience around children seem to be the ones most often offering criticism on parenting and behavior and/or advice on parenting, whether it be potty training, discipline, sleep schedules, feeding schedules, etc. They act like they are somehow in the know because they once spoke to a child or their buddy has a child. Until you are in the trenches you really have no idea.

The other day I was sitting by the pool next to a new mother who had a 6-week-old baby. She and I were casually chitchatting about our kids, nothing real earth shattering. Basically commiserating about the lack of sleep and constant state of exhaustion being a parent entails. This other young woman (late 20’s/early 30’s) sitting on the other side of my new buddy joins the conversation, which was all well and good until she starts going on and on about parents (too lenient) and discipline (should be whipped with belts and wooden spoons) and when she’d start solids (4 weeks) and how she’d potty train (make them sit there until they go, whether they are developmentally ready or not) and how she’d never tolerate this, but would tolerate that, yada yada yada. To the untrained ear some might agree with a fraction of what she spewed. (Most of it appeared ignorant to me). However, any MOTHER knew she was full of shit…an imposter. Finally after the 10th time of her telling the new young mother that her child would sleep better if she started him on solids (despite the American Academy of Pediatrics advising that you don’t start solids until 6 MONTHS, not 6 WEEKS) this new young mother did what I wish every mother would do when being bombarded with unwelcome advice. She turned and looked at her and said in her sweetest voice, "Oh, is that what you did with your children?" She stammered, "Oh, no I don’t have any children. I hang out with my best friend’s little girl though…." Miss Buttinsky started to say something more until the sweet new mother interrupted her and said, "Well, until you do have children and have the opportunity to try out all your little theories and philosophies or until you become my pediatrician I think I’ll stick to the advice of what actual doctors recommend or what I feel is best for MY baby." I shot my margarita through my nose, I swear. It was the funniest thing I have heard in a long time. After she regained her composure and left I resumed my conversation with my new friend at which point she said, "I’m usually not that much of a bitch, but I couldn’t take it anymore."

Which brings me back to my point. Motherhood is all about trial and error. You try something. If it works you do it again; if it doesn’t you pitch it. The point is you won’t know until you have children of your own. It’s not the same with the neighbor kid or your friend’s kid or even your nieces and nephews. The dynamic of the relationship can never replicate that of mother and child. There are so many claiming to be experts on these subjects and many of these "experts" don’t have any legitimate experience. Even more irritating is that many of these people offering this advise don’t even claim to be experts yet they still somehow feel like their advice and suggestions merit an audience with women who actually have children.

I always have all of these clever, witty replies in my head ready to use if such advice is ever bestowed upon me. I imagine how the conversation will go and how my witty repartee will stop them dead in their tracks and slinking off with their tail between their legs. Unfortunately for me it always seem to happen to someone I know or some random person that I happen to overhear. Why can’t it happen to me, damn it!

Oh Doctor, Where Art Thou?

Well the reunion is still going on with more family arriving today, but I brought the kids home. They both relapsed and we ended up back at the doctor this morning and at Urgent Care again this evening. Neither is responding, as he/she should, to the antibiotic. Son’s ear infection has gotten worse and now he has another one in his other ear. This should not happen while on an incredibly strong dose of antibiotics. They have changed the antibiotic and upped the dose amount again. To complicate matters I have laryngitis and have had no voice the past two days. Very difficult to try to mime to the doctors what is wrong with your child. Everyone, understandably, is a little grumpy and very tired. Son woke up at 11 last night just moaning and on fire. His temperature had risen to 103.8. I ended up just rocking him all night. He finally fell asleep at 4:30 AM and slept until 6:30 AM when his temp appeared to break and he woke up freezing in a puddle of sweat. This bout of illness has just been unreal. He has battled so many different viruses in his short year of life. My daughter on the other hand hardly ever gets sick, but she too has been hit hard. According to our doctor and the Urgent Care docs this type of summer virus is common. Doesn’t make it any more bearable.

I will say this though. For being as sick as they are, the kids have been incredibly good. Sure there are moments of mayhem, but they are some of the happiest sick kids I’ve ever seen. Anyone with children, mothers especially, can attest to the fact that you never feel as helpless as you do when your children are sick. You want so much to be able to fix them and make them feel better and that is more often than not way beyond the scope of our powers. The best we can do is comfort them, reassure them, and love them. So, that is what I’ll continue to do all the while praying desperately for their recovery so this vicious cycle ends.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Quick Updates From Reunion

* Kids still sick, but definitely better. Daughter doing much better than son. She's also been sick longer.
* Resort life is nice. Spend most of the day in a bathing suit by the pool.
* Been swimming laps for 30 minutes as to not disrupt my exercise routine too much. I love it! Refreshing.
* There are such culture differences between Americans and in this case the Ecuadorians (I think that is how you say it) and the Danish. Much of the humor, both ways, does not translate.
* I have actually managed to acquire a little color. I don't think that by most definitions it would be considered a tan, but I have moved past the pasty white.
* I must go now, the pool is SCREAMING my name.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Quick Hits from the World of Illness

* I'm checking into our room at the resort today, obviously taking my two sick kids (reservations were made months ago and there are no refunds). This can go one of two ways. It could be nice and relaxing because we will all be in one room. It'll, as a result, be easier for me to keep an eye on them, as I am now sick too, and it won't matter if the kids make a mess. Or the kids could become even more cranky because they are sick and away from home and we are all in one room, thus making it impossible for me to hide or escape. I'm hoping for the first option.
* Keflex is hard on my son's stomach. He is having the most God-awful gas and poop. Unbelievably smelly. Toxic!
* This week of illness by the numbers:
- Number of boxes of Kleenex used: 7
- Number of baths in last five days: 29 total
- Number of hours at Urgent Care: 1 ( amazing really)
- Number of diapers son has pooped thru in past 2 days: 13
- Number of loads of laundry to wash all ifected clothes and sheets over past 5 days: 19 and counting
- Number of burp cloths that double as hankies used by my daughter: 39 and counting
- Amount of money we spent on doctors and medicines in one day: $120
- Number of hours I spent curled up in a fetal position crying for the illness to end: None yet, but I anticipate at least 2 solid hours of wailing in my future.

The Need For a True Third Party

If you are anything like me you are probably sick to death of the partisan politics that run our government. The people, us, truly do not have a voice anymore. I firmly believe that America needs a third party that is a true representation of the majority of voters. Our two main parties have become so polarizing that most voters don’t really fit into either one anymore.

I registered to vote when I turned 18. That was 12 years ago. I was raised in a household where both parents were Democrats and I adopted their political beliefs. As I started learning more about politics and our government I felt the Democratic Party wasn’t truly an accurate representation of my beliefs. The alternative, the Republican Party, was even further from my vision for our country. The problem then becomes that there are all of these "minor" parties you can belong to, but none have the lasting power that the two major parties have. There is the Green party, the Centrists, the Independents, the Libertarians, the Whigs (Yes, that is still a party. My husband is registered as one). None of them ever make a legitimate run at the Presidency. It’s a waste of a vote.

I consider myself to be a Moderate. Some say I’m a conservative liberal while others say I’m a liberal conservative. Whatever! It doesn’t make much difference. I know what I believe and unfortunately those beliefs don’t fit into the neat little boxes of our 2 party political system. I believe in many of the social and educational philosophies of a Democrat. I believe our govt. should pay for healthcare and education. I don’t personally believe in abortion, but I don’t think it is the govt. place to tell a woman she can’t have one. I also have many of the moral convictions most often aligned with Republican values. I think we need to close our borders and quit spending our tax dollars on all the Mexicans who cross ILLEGALLY. I don’t believe in gay marriage or civil unions. What am I to do? This is where a true 3rd party would come in handy. Someone to represent the masses. Let’s face it. Both parties have veered so far right and so far left they are hardly recognizable anymore. It would be nice if we "Big Party Refugees" had a new party to call our own.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Haven of Germs Part II

Things have gone from bad to worse in the continuing saga of what has become one illness after the other. By 10 pm last night both kids were miserable. Our son screamed in apparent pain all night long, only interrupted by intense coughing fits. Our daughter spent the night hacking away and wheezing. We debated whether or not to take them to the ER, but ultimately decided to wait until the morning.

So, this morning after both kids woke up with their eyes glued shut, we felt it was time for a jaunt down to Urgent Care. Long story short, both kids have pink eye in BOTH eyes, both have ear infections in one ear each, and daughter has bronchitis. Additionally, she has wiped her nose so much that she has rubbed her skin completely raw and it is now scabbed and bloody. She refers to it as her "red stache" since it spans across her upper lip, cheek to cheek. Between the two of them they are on 8 medications for the next 10 days. Wonderful!!!

As a result of all the illness I will be making an appearance at the family reunion tonight alone. Kind of a bummer because the kids were really looking forward to meeting their new cousins and I know my extended family was eager to see them as well. I can only hope they will be well enough to participate in some of the festivities over the coming week. I would assume some of the 8 medications could make a dent in the germs that are currently attacking their little bodies.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Haven of Germs

Ever since I started going to the gym regularly in April and leaving my kids in the child watch, they have caught every illness known to man. It is really getting frustrating. It appears that I am one of the few who actually obeys the "Don't bring sick kids" rule. The current victim is my daughter. She's had a 103 degree fever for 3 1/2 days (and this is with round the clock tylenol), a horrible cough that would put seals to shame and the typical runny nose, congestion, watery eyes etc that usually accompanies this type of virus. Not to mention the constant forced crying because she is miserable and frustrated. (Doesn't make it any less annoying)

This illness comes just in time for a family reunion that kicks off Sunday. Then this morning my son woke up with a fever and I woke up congested with a sore throat. Great! When it rains it pours. I'm just praying that the recovery is quick so the entire week won't be ruined.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Sad Realizations

Recently I have come to some sad realizations:

1. I’m a lightweight. I went to pick up sushi for my family, brother, and his girlfriend. While waiting I ordered a beer, ONE BEER. I almost had to call my hubby to come get me. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I was so buzzed; dizzy, numb, and spinning buzzed. "So what", you might say. Back in my wilder college years, I could drink anyone under the table.
2. My children have morphed into such little people. They no longer look or really act like babies. While I love who they are becoming it is bittersweet, as I have to come to terms with the fact they are growing up.
3. My children will probably never know my husband’s parents. I have mixed feelings about this, but it is how they have decided it to be. On one hand I’d like to keep them away from the crazy bitch that is hubby’s mom, but on the other it is sad that they have this other set of grandparents that has ultimately rejected them.
4. I will forever be pasty white. I know that being Irish pretty much ensures that. I’m not talking about having a little Irish in me. I’m talking we are direct descendents of those who came over on the Mayflower. So, I accept this, but a little color would be nice once in a while. How will others know if I am dead or sleeping?
5. I will never be a rock star. I love to sing and play guitar. Unfortunately, I am not all that spectacular at either, which pretty much kills that dream.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Where's My Two Age?

Last week on my daughters birthday she said that she was now three and no longer a two year old. I concurred and added, "No more two." She then asked, "Where did my two age go?

What I Learned at the Doctor's Office

My daughter had her 3-year-old check up today. Here is what I learned:

- My daughter’s refusal to eat any meat has had no effect on her health. They were worried about her being iron deficient but her blood work all came back perfect. Apparently I am feeding her enough whole grains fortified with iron to compensate.

- I am a good mom. I put a lot of pressure on myself. I am my biggest critic. I need to relax and cut myself some slack. My daughter is healthy, happy, and by all accounts thriving and developing wonderfully.

- My daughter cracks me up. When the doctor told her she needed to look at her private parts, my daughter said, "No, you can’t look there. You can look in my ears, though."

- I love our doctor. It made me realize how important it is to have a good relationship with your doctor. Even after our appointments she sits around and chats with us about her children and grandchildren. It makes for a very comfortable and easy partnership. It helps that we have near identical philosophies about raising children. It makes my children that much more relaxed and at ease. They don’t ever fear having to go in for a doctor’s appointment.

Touch of Grey

Lately I’ve just had this overwhelming feeling of blah. Now I know that is not the technical term, but I really don’t know how to describe it. A bit melancholy? A little down? A touch of the blues? I’m not depressed or overwhelmingly sad, but there is this feeling I just can’t shake. It seems like I am almost not really existing in my own skin. Like I’m walking on eggshells around everyone for no real good reason. A sense that anything I had or thought I had is slipping away yet I could not tell you why. I know this is probably not making much sense. It doesn’t make much sense to me. Everything seems so fleeting, so temporary. Here one minute, gone the next. Solid one second, flimsy the next. Loyal then betrayed. I can’t clearly articulate what it is I am trying to communicate. Things, relationships, etc. seem to be evolving at a record pace. I yearn for the days of stagnation. I can hardly keep up. It is just too much work sometimes; too overwhelming. Clearly I may be losing my mind.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Expectation of Forgiveness

We seem to be living in a society and during a time that has rendered itself very unforgiving. For a nation in which the majority claim to be Christians that seems to be in direct contradiction of fundamental Christian teachings. Even with those who align themselves with no organized religion yet like to think of themselves as kind and compassionate, it seems the majority of them as well are quick to condemn and unlikely to forgive. It begs the question why?

People, and unfortunately a lot of times Christians, view the sin and sinner as one. There is no separation of the action and the person. If one behaves in a way that the other morally objects to, often we write the person off. We say, "Well, if they do that or live that way or made that mistake, they must be bad. We can’t associate with them." It makes no sense. I have a pretty diverse group of friends. They differ politically, morally, spiritually, and economically. I have friends who I disagree with or differ with regularly, but I don’t consider it a deal-breaker with our friendship. If nothing else, it provides for interesting conversation.

It is disheartening and discouraging to see so many willing to throw away friendships and family relationships because of differences that are superficial. Even differences that pull at the root of who we are seldom merit the termination of that friendship or relationship. As Christians we are taught to hate the sin, but love the sinner. I think most people, whether religious or not, would agree with that general philosophy. However, that seems to be forgotten or deliberately disregarded these days. Everyone sins, has faults and flaws. Everyone makes mistakes. For those casting judgment it must be difficult to be as perfect as they. So perfect and blinded by that perfection that they forget their past or present indiscretions. If we refused to have a relationship with all those who we at some point disagreed with or argued with it would be a very lonely and isolated existence.

I wish that we all could demonstrate greater compassion and understanding to one another. I wish we could behave in such a way to each other that we didn’t feel we needed to alienate others to remain true to our own convictions. I wish our expectations of others, sometimes unfair expectations, didn’t interfere with our love for those or at least a general sense of common courtesy and decency.
There are things my family and friends do on a daily basis that I disagree with or that offend me or that hurt my feelings. I’m sure the same can be said of my actions toward them. For the most part I let it go. I balance whether or not it is worth making an issue of or risk offending them greater than they have offended me or if it is something that I can let blow over. Perhaps our society would be in better shape if we let more blow over.

Compassion, love, and common decency must prevail in the majority of situations or we will become a nation of cold, unforgiving, insensitive loners. People make mistakes every single day, usually unintentionally, hence the term "mistake". People must stop taking things as such a personal affront to their character. Life is all about family and friends and the relationships we build based on shared experiences. If we abandon them at every offense or difference we will have no one.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Family Reunion

My mother’s two brothers and their respective families and her sister and probably her boyfriend of the month are coming to town next week. This is big news because one brother lives in Ecuador with his wife and my two young cousins and one lives in Denmark with his wife and my other cousin. Her sister lives in California with two of my other cousins but we never see them. Every 2-4 years we have a "reunion". My mother’s parents both died when I was under a year old so it is an important reunion for my mom. They are an interesting cast of characters. Here is what we all have to look forward to:

1. My uber-liberal, atheist, Vietnam Veteran Denmark Uncle and my beyond right ringed Republican, Christian brother in law having multiple raucous debates where neither will change the other’s mind, but both are hell-bent on trying.
2. Loud, loud, loud. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but we live a fairly quiet existence. I’m not a big fan of noise. It’ll be a bit of a culture shock.
3. Lots of eating and probably lots of drinking.
4. We are all staying at a local resort, so there will be a ton of swimming involved.
5. My Ecuador Uncle married a woman my age and so they have two younger children, close in age to my children. My daughter is very excited to meet her "new cousins". The last time they were all here she was 2 weeks old.
6. Lots of conversations from my uncles about why America sucks and how all that ails our country would be solved if we just followed their respective countries forms of government, healthcare, education, etc.

Overall, it should be a lot of fun. They are fun and interesting people and both of my uncle's wives are very nice and balance their husband's well. We don’t come from a big family and the family we do have, most live out of the country, so it’ll be a nice experience for my children to be around extended family for a week.

Monday, July 7, 2008

The Last Birthday Party

4th of July weekend has come and gone. Unfortunately, minus the fact it was my daughter's birthday, the weekend was the same as every other weekend. My husband of course was working and I was alone with the kids.

As mentioned previously it was my daughter's 3rd birthday which meant we had to plan for and execute a party. As a whole this went much more smoothly than the preparations for my son's 1st birthday party. I'm not really sure why. We had family and friends over and my daughter had a great time. It was nice that she was able to spend her day with those she enjoys and we're thankful that all invited could make it and share that time with us.

That being said, I am sooooo over children's birthday least my own children's parties. It seems like I clean, and shop, and plan, and cook for a week or two leading up to the party and then the whole thing is over in 2 hours flat. Rather anti-climatic. We tried to convince our daughter to not have a party...just go out to eat with us and her grandparents (and yes, we'd still get her a cake), but in the span of less than two months she watched her brother have a party and her two close friends have parties, thus the need for a party of her own.

Overall, I'm glad we had this party for her because she'd been so looking forward to it, but I hope next year we can convince her of some type of alternative. I'm just not sure what that alternative is yet. It obviously has to be something "neat" to compete with an actual party. Any ideas?

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Must Reads...or at least you should

A few weeks ago I read a list of books that titled itself "Must Reads Before You Die." The avid reader that I am (and former English teacher) I was curious what books made the cut. I was quite dumbfounded as books that were listed were a lot of new books that haven’t stood the test of time or books that I wouldn’t really consider fantastic pieces of literature. The Lord of the Rings series was on the list, as was the Harry Potter books. While they may be good and have their cult following I would hardly call them "must reads". There were a few classics like To Kill a Mockingbird, but overall the list was far from the must-reads it claimed to be. So, I’ve taken it upon myself to compile a list of books that I think everyone should read.

1. To Kill a Mockingbird: My all time favorite book and reason I love the name Atticus. He embodies every quality a person should have.
2. Crime and Punishment: Great book! Interesting and deep.
3. The Great Gatsby: What one man will sacrifice for love.
4. Autobiography of Malcolm X: Made me see the man in a whole new light. Have a much greater respect for him and what he was trying to accomplish, however misguided it initially was.
5. One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest: Ken Kesey. Need I say more?
6. Great Expectations: Hated it when I read it as a freshman in high school. Loved it when I read it as a freshman in college. Perspective.
7. Roots: Took me a while to really get into it, but about half way through I really started to enjoy it.

I could probably give you a list of 50 books that would be a worthwhile read, but this should be enough to get you started. As a bonus, I’ve included some interesting short stories.

1. The Rockinghorse Winner: Taught this in my English class every year. Had many students say it was about masturbation. You be the judge.
2. An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge: Read this as a sophomore in high school and it stuck with me. Taught it every year once I became a teacher. There’s a fine line between what is real and what isn’t.
3.The Lottery: Probably my favorite short story. Shocker when you find out what the "winner" of the lottery receives. My students loved this.

4th of July Madness

Yesterday was my daughter’s 3rd birthday. My husband had to work so I planned to take her to the mall to get her a few small things and then take her to lunch along with my mom and grandma (her grandma and great-grandma).

While I was driving I get a phone call from my dad saying that my hubby’s mother had called him (We are estranged; they do not have our number. I won’t get into all of it, but it’s bad. She’s a lying, manipulative *#%!..rhymes with blunt). Apparently she wants to reconcile (this despite years of us trying to reconcile and being rebuked and ignored) and supposedly wanted to wish our daughter a happy birthday. They have never acknowledged our children before, never sent so much as a birthday card so I found this supposed motive rather suspicious. So, this kind of set the tone for the day. Daughter picked up on the fact that I was upset as was the rest of my family as m-i-l has an uncanny ability to lay in wait until she decides to strike reeking havoc on all. Ultimately, we had a good time at the mall and it was nice time spent with her, but I felt bad as she could tell things were tense.

This morning my mom calls and says that my father forgot to mention that supposedly she was calling because hubby’s father has been diagnosed with prostate cancer, thus the desire to reconcile (Another long story as to how my father forgot to mention this..something about all the yelling. Also begs the question why his father didn't call himself) After much discussion I convince my husband that he needs to call his father and find out what is going on. Long story short, he DOES NOT have cancer. His PSA levels were elevated possibly because he’s had pneumonia for 2 weeks and he has an enlarged prostate, as do most men in their mid-60’s. At this point the doctors do not think it is cancer. He is going in in October for further testing.

It is infuriating that they’d choose our daughter’s birthday to drop this bomb. Suppose he did have cancer. Now my husband would forever associate our daughter’s birthday with the day that he found out his father has cancer. It is more infuriating that his mother flat out lied about the condition on our daughter’s birthday just to get my husband to call them. I could fill an entire year’s worth, probably more, of blog entries explaining this entire situation and our history with them over the last 7 years, but I won’t. Bottom line: She is nuts. I don’t want my children anywhere around her and I fully resent her encroaching upon and manipulating my daughter’s birthday to try to attain her twisted, sick goal…whatever that is.

P.S. They got the news about his PSA levels over a week ago. She deliberately sat on the information and waiting for our daughter's birthday. She could have called any time over the course of the last week. That is what I resent the most.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Life Sucks!!!

Sometimes the circumstances of life just really suck and it's the children who are affected the most...(more on this later)

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Jesus Wept

When I was in 7th grade, as part of a Memory Work assignment, we were told to choose our favorite Bible verse and memorize it. We were also told that we needed to be able to explain the significance of the verse and why it was our favorite. (Yes, I went to a parochial school). There was no other criterion and no length requirement was given. I chose the verse, "Jesus wept."

Most of my classmates chose "real" verses, "real" defined by the teacher as "longer, more difficult verses." When it came time to recite my verse, all two words of it, my teacher reprimanded me for not taking the assignment seriously and proceeded to explain why, in his mind, that verse "didn’t count." (I wasn’t aware there were verses in the Bible that didn’t count.) While I was certainly mad at the time, I lacked the ability, beyond a 7th graders capabilities, to defend myself and stand up for my choice. But today, as a grown woman it makes me irate to think of the way that teacher handled that situation. It makes me even madder, because as a former teacher I realize how important specifics, details, and parameters are. If things aren’t clearly and specifically outlined then you can’t expect kids to complete the assignment effectively. If my teacher wanted that verse excluded, he should have instructed the class on the day the assignment was given.

Today I want to tell that ignorant teacher (Mr. Steinbach) why that verse most certainly counts. It might count more than some of those "real" verses he would have preferred I memorized. So, Mr. Steinbach, wherever you are, this is why "Jesus wept" is a verse of importance.

1. This verse shows us that Jesus was indeed human with real bodily functions (such as tears, sweat, blood, eating, drinking, etc.). He had real emotions; He was not an illusion or a spirit. The weeping Jesus did was in reference to His friend Lazarus. The phrase occurs in John's narrative of the death of Lazarus, a friend of Jesus. Lazarus' sisters Mary and Martha sent word to Jesus of their brother's illness. Jesus arrived four days after Lazarus' death. Jesus, after talking to the grieving sisters and seeing Lazarus' friends weeping, was deeply troubled. After being shown where Lazarus was laid, Jesus wept in front of Lazarus' tomb. He then ordered the people to remove the stone covering his tomb, prayed aloud to his Father, and ordered Lazarus to come out.

2. This verse shows the two natures of Jesus. In his humanity he wept for Lazarus and in his divinity he raised him from the dead.

3. This verse also shows the sorrow felt by Jesus presages the suffering of his own crucifixion. It magnifies the sorrow, sympathy, and compassion Jesus felt for all mankind. Jesus' weeping demonstrates that Lazarus had genuinely died. The raising of Lazarus was therefore not a fraud or a case of misdiagnosis.

4. Most people interpret his weeping to mean that Jesus was sorrowful for the fact that Lazarus had died (which was the interpretation of the bystanders in verse 36). However, an alternate explanation that many believe considers this to be unreasonable, given Jesus’ full knowledge that He was about to resurrect Lazarus. This view argues that every single person whom Jesus talked to in John chapter 11 (his disciples, Martha, Mary, and the Jews) was blinded by their misconceptions of Jesus and by their failure to recognize that, as He declared in verse 26, He Himself was "the resurrection and the life". Thus, "he groaned in the spirit and was troubled" (New King James, verse 33). This view holds that He wept because even those who were closest to Him were still blinded by their concepts of the fact that He really was "the resurrection and the life"—beyond mere doctrine (verses 25-27)—in spite of all His plain words to them. A striking point in this view is that the only person in the chapter who had no misconceptions was the dead man Lazarus, who promptly obeyed and received life when commanded to come forth. Finally, this view holds that the bystanders in verses 36-37, just like most readers today, were blinded by their own misconceptions and so did not understand that Jesus was actually weeping for them, not for Lazarus.

I’m not sure what He was weeping for. It might be wise to give both views credence. Bottom line: Jesus wept and it was not some insignificant act. It is a verse that most certainly counts. I wish I could have communicated this when I was twelve!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

What's On My Mind

* Our son has been really ill. He has lost 4 pounds. Fortunately, he was a chubby little rascal, but 4 pounds on a 12 month old is a lot. His double chin is gone and his cute chipmunk cheeks are gone too. It's sad. He looks like a different kid.
* I have been making avacado pico de gallo lately. My daughter has started calling everyone "little pico de gallos". I said to her, "You don't even know what that is." Her response? "It's like a salsa."
* My son adores his sister. Copies her, wants to do everything she does and have everything she has. It's cute to us but frustrating to my daughter.
* I bought a pair of shorts that were WAY too small (buttons couldn't even touch) in April. I told my hubby at the time that my goal was to fit in them in 2 would be my halfway point for the weight I wanted to lose. I have currently lost 22.5 pounds, dropped two pant sizes and last night I fit into those shorts...with a little room even. I'm hoping to lose 20-30 more by October and another 2 pant sizes.
* Daughters birthday party is this weekend. Made it easier on myself by ordering cake and plan to do less food that requires much prep work. I am going to make homemade mac and cheese but that shouldn't be a problem; I make it a lot. Serve strawberries and applesauce and have some chips as well.
* Sorry this post is so boring; Feeling very uninspired these past few days.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Tori and Dean

I religiously watch the reality show "Tori and Dean". (The slutty, husband-leaving Tori Spelling and her man-whore of a cheating husband who left his wife for her, Dean McDermott) Of this I am ashamed! To be perfectly honest, listening to them really makes me cringe. They are two of the stupidest people I have ever observed on television. Plus, I really find it odd and bothersome that Tori spends more time with her stupid dog than she does her son. She takes the dog to the beach, pushes it in a stroller, takes it shopping, etc...even carried it down the red carpet. Her son is nowhere to be seen during these outings. He makes the rare cameo when they are at home, which is rare. It's as if he doesn't exist for the majority of the day.

Something about them though is strangely addicting. I can't explain it in any way that will make any sense. It is a guilty pleasure of mine. It is comical that Tori earnestly tries to convince us she is just like everybody else while whining about things only people with LOADS of money would complain a house that is millions of dollars out of their price range. I've got an idea. Buy a 300K house like the rest of us "common folk". I don't begrudge her wealth or fame. More power to her. But don't try to act like she is just another mom. She has loads of hired help, personal assistants, etc. While most of us are struggling to stay afloat her biggest concern is if Dean remembered to pack the dog's bikini. While we are juggling jobs, families, our children, our lives with little to no help and certainly not permanent or hired help she is complaining how hard it is to raise her child and attend all of her social events. Please!

I could go on, but I feel like I'm wasting brain cells thinking about the events in the show. Bottom line, I've outted myself. Shamefully I admit to watching and on some level, liking, the show. SHHH! Don't tell anyone!