Celebrate Motherhood

Let’s all admit it. I do it. You do it. What is this thing we all do, you might ask? Judge! Criticizing others has become commonplace. The constant critical nature of our society has really gotten wearing.

Right now I’m speaking specifically of the judgement we mothers display against other mothers. You might see a mother allow her child soda at dinner and think, "Man, I’d never let my kid have that much sugar." Or another mother witnesses a friend spanking her child and you think, "Wow, I’d never hit my kid like that." Or you witness a kid in full tantrum mode at the mall and the mother is desperately trying to keep her cool and you mutter, "Thank god my kid doesn’t act like that in public" all the while forgetting the huge meltdown your kid had in the middle of Target just a few short weeks ago. We might not agree with certain parenting techniques or condone strategies employed, but that should not result in the total condemnation of that mother’s parenting skills.

Why do we as mothers feel the need to put other mothers down in order to validate our own competence as mothers? Why do we feel the need to be quick to criticize or condemn women who are in the same boat we are in? Why can’t we encourage and celebrate other mothers and their failures and triumphs? Why can’t we view them as our allies and not our competition? There is such a negativity and competitiveness surrounding motherhood these days. It doesn’t matter if you are a stay at home mom or a mom who works outside of the house or one who has a paying job that allows you to work at home. Ultimately we are all the same. We are all trying to raise our children the best way we know how. It may not always be the right way or always the way if given the opportunity to do it again we’d repeat. But we get through day by day, learning from our mistakes and remembering what was successful in the past.

We need to support one another more. Motherhood can be a very lonely and isolating experience. It can also be an experience where new friendships are foraged and communities are made. But in order to create these friendships and allow ourselves to be a part of these communities we must celebrate other mothers. While criticizing may draw you together at first it will eventually isolate you as you soon realize those you aligned yourself with will soon turn on you. It’s just a matter of time until you dare do something different; thus becoming deemed a bad mom. We must instead encourage each other and quit judging or criticizing each other so harshly.

Imagine how empowering it would be to be surrounded by other women all raising children and instead of worried about back stabbing and petty disagreements you were showered with love and support; affirmations and encouragement. What a difference that would make.