Sunday, November 16, 2008

When Does It Get Easier?

Does it ever get easier? A friend of mine asked me this question the other day as she just had her second baby a few months ago. My immediate gut reaction was "NO!" When I could tell I may have frightened her a bit I began to back track and think about the ways things might be getting easier. Unfortunately, I was hard pressed to come up with something concrete that she believed.

Here's the thing. My 3 year old daughter is pretty easy most of the time. She's self-sufficient. She can go to the bathroom by herself, dress herself, feed herself, play by herself, yada yada. Obviously I help her at times and play with her often but if push came to shove she could entertain herself for hours alone. When my son was an infant I thought it was hard because he nursed all the time (and he's still nursing) and always wanted to be held. If I put him down he'd cry and I'd often have to interrupt playtime with my daughter to console a screaming baby. Now that he's 17 months old he has a personality of his own. He has strong likes and dislikes and knows what he wants. Often times that is in direct conflict with what my daughter wants. The battle begins and fighting ensues. Because he is still only 17 months and doesn't understand the way my daughter does she is often the one having to give in to broker a peace treaty. It's not fair and I know it, but sometimes you do desperate things to get a few moments of quiet.

I think when you have two strong willed children and they are both at an age that is capable of exerting that strong will, things become difficult and stay difficult until they are both at an age where they fully (or at least better) understand compromise and taking turns and sharing. My son just isn't there yet.

So, to answer the question more completely. For me, things have not gotten easier yet. In many ways they are harder. But I do think when my son is a bit older (more my daughter's current age) things will be much easier. So, in that regards I believe that yes, things do get easier.

What has been your experience? When does it get easier?


Joanne said...

The ease does come, but the young years are trying. As they get older, and communicate better, plus get started in school, I found that things seem to settle down. Slowly, as they mature, they become your friends, which is really nice.

jodifur said...

I was just asking my self that same question and then I remembered the phrase "little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems." I don't think it ever gets easier.

Emerald said...

Jodifur read my mine. Big kids, big problems.