Thursday, July 9, 2009


Sometime last year our then three year old daughter started telling us she wanted to go to preschool. It was too late to start here then so we planned/plan to send her this August since she just turned 4. She talked about "her" preschool for six months or more. I signed her up for only two days a week at a preschool affiliated with a church right down the street from our house. It seemed ideal. Then about a month ago she started telling us that she didn't want to go anymore. We didn't make a big deal about it and decided we'd just wait it out and see if that changed. It hasn't.

For weeks now, almost on a daily basis, she tells us that she changed her mind and just wants to stay home and do her dance class. Here's where I am torn. My husband and I don't care if she goes or not. We thought it was something she wanted, which is why she was enrolled. Personally, I figure since I am home with the kids it doesn't really affect me one way or the other. If she wants to go, great; if not, I am okay with that too. However, part of me thinks I should at least have her try it as more than likely she'll end up enjoying it. The other part of me doesn't want to force this. (I had an incredibly traumatic preschool experience as a child and to this day my mom claims that making me "tough it out" for a few months was one of the biggest mistakes she made).

I'm feeling pressure because we have a parent meeting coming up in about a week and a half and then orientation a week after that. I need to let the director know one way or the other and probably pretty soon. She is adamant though that she does not want to go, but would rather I continue to "teach" her at home.

What would you do?


Nancy said...

That's a tough question - Give it a chance or just let it go?
I'm the type of parent that would say "let's give it two weeks. If you really still don't like it, you don't have to go" because most times I think *everyone* gets nervous and worked up about something new. Heck, I STILL do and I'm 49! But on the other hand, your experience and what your mother has said shows the other side - although you were there for months, not a week or two to start. So, is she afraid to go, afraid to miss something at home while she's gone or just testing the mommy waters to see what your reaction to this will be? I don't think pre-school is necessary but I think it's a good introduction to social skills with kids their age in a learning environment.
Do you read Lindsay Ferrier's Blog - Suburban Turmoil? Her daughter is one year old and although all the friends were going to preschool, she kept her home and has been working with her at home. She was really undecided as well but they were both happy for the experience.
You know your daughter the best and I think you probably know in your heart and head what the best decision for her is.

Joanne said...

I'm with Nancy, I'd give it two weeks or so. This would be as much for myself as my daughter, knowing I made the right decision and not fretting about it later. Maybe it's just her anxiety, fear of the unknown, resisting. She might like the structure of it, the crafts and songs, once she's there. But it is tough too, b/c it really isn't necessary, and it's wonderful to have time at home with her. Follow your heart ...

Moxymama said...

Nancy, I have not read that blog but I will definitely check it out. I am always looking for good, new blogs to read. I tend to stick with my favorite hits and not really look for others. :) I tend to agree with your "give it two weeks" scenario and that is what I am pushing for, so we shall see. I think she is simply nervous because it is unknown.

Joanne, you are right about it being as much for me. I'd probably always wonder if I made the right decision if I didn't encourage her to at least give it a try. There are so many pros to going and staying home which is why I think we are so torn.