We the People....

I think I am going to start a petition to outlaw the wearing of spandex in public. I don't know if the fact that Tucson is a cycling town has anything to do with it, but the amount of the general population who feels it is appropriate to leave the house in spandex is downright frightening.

I am going to give the cyclists a pass because in most circumstances that is proper cycling attire. (Although everyone in Tucson who rides a bike views him/herself as a cyclist and decks him/herself out in head to toe gear). However, when people enter grocery stores, doctor's offices, restaurants, and banks in spandex I have to draw the line. Most recently I have seen a slew of old men in spandex at the gym. One could make the argument that spandex are proper workout attire. To that I say poppycock. While there are some incredibly fit women who can pull the look off, 99 percent of the population should run from spandex like they are laced with anthrax. Furthermore, there are some things on a male's body that are simply better left to the imagination and not just hanging out for the world to see. And in many cases things (mainly bellies) are hanging out and over giving a whole new meaning to the term muffin top.

Two days ago at the gym a man in his fifties to sixties wore full length spandex which his belly almost swallowed. To make matters worse he was wearing an old dress shirt with the sleeves cut off and only the middle two buttons buttoned. There was nothing about this look that was appropriate and I was almost waiting for a camera crew to come through the door screaming we were on some hidden camera show. Then today, a different man also in his fifties or sixties wore incredibly short spandex (think speedo) and a tight, short tank top. There is no way he could have looked in the mirror and honestly thought that was a good idea. Additionally, there is no way that the outfit he had one could be comfortable enough to work out in. But work out he did. Right in front of me.

So, for the sake of humanity I am calling on the general public to restore some sense of decency and modesty to civilization. We all have to live together and get along. That might be much easier to do if going out in public wasn't a constant test of my self-control. I feel like I am constantly fighting the urge to say something rude which I would regret later, throw up a little in my mouth, or laughing out loud before I realize they aren't wearing spandex to be funny. They really think they look good. That may be the saddest part.

On that note, what is a "look" that you think should be banned from public view?