Today my son turns two. To think that two years have passed since he has been a part of our lives seems almost unbelievable. I can't imagine an existence without him as a part of it. He has brought immeasurable joy to an already joyful life and everyday I thank God for bringing him safely into this world. There are days that he is utterly exhausting. There are days when his determination to do everything by himself make me want to scream because everything takes four times as long. There are days when I am convinced that he really will be the death of me. There are days when his habit of being constantly underfoot make me want to escape. However, those days are greatly outnumbered by the days where I share in the joys of his discoveries. They are outnumbered by the days when I see him being kind, caring, and empathetic to other children. They are outnumbered by the days when he wants nothing more than to be held and cuddled by his mommy. Those days are numbered and it is at those times when I am reminded that I better appreciate this now, all of this, because soon they will be gone, changed, evolved.
I have special bonds with both of my children. These bonds start in the womb and strengthen as a result of each experience. With both children there were issues with the pregnancies that solidified my bond with each. With my son I started bleeding heavily early on. I had two doctors (neither of which were my normal ob/gyn who was out of town at the time) tell me that 1) I had already miscarried and 2) that a miscarriage was inevitable. I was obviously devastated, but a larger part of me knew, just knew, that the baby was going to make it. That's not to say that the next few months were easy. They weren't; I worried constantly. I had blood drawn twice a week for six weeks. However, I had a strong feeling that it would somehow work out in the end. After every blood test the results would confirm that the baby was still growing. Because my pregnancy with him was so tumultuous it was like we had been to battle together and both made it out alive. To say I was relieved when he was born healthy is an incredible understatement.
So, while today he may be turning two he still is and I am sure always will be, my baby. Each birthday is bittersweet. It is wonderful to see your children growing up, maturing, becoming this person they were meant to be. However, it is also a bit sad as you have now moved past a portion of their lives that you won't get back.
So, to my son on his second birthday I say that your mommy loves you very, very much and I will never let you doubt, question, or forget that because that is what mommies do.