Monday, October 13, 2008

Friendships

I attended a parochial school from grades Kindergarten through 8th grade. My graduating class was a class of 12 people. We were a close group, having gone to school together for nine years. We all ended up at different high schools throughout our city, though, and aside from seeing each other at church on Sunday we went our separate ways, immersing ourselves in new friendships foraged at our respective high schools. Once in a while we'd bump into each other but it was not like we shared much in common anymore other than the connection from our youth. Over time we went away to college, got married, moved, and had children. We started new lives and these old grade school friendships really weren't a part of these new lives we'd begun.

Many of these classmates I haven't thought about in years. That is until the past few weeks. A friend of mine from that time found me through Facebook and she and I began emailing. It was strange because it was like we had picked up where we left off sixteen years ago. The conversation was easy and we reconnected immediately. There is the easy banter of familiarity. Through this reconnection we began to hunt down other members of our class and we all seemed to ease right back in to the friendships we once had. There were no pretenses.

It just made me wonder why some friendships can go years without contact yet seem to pick up right where they left off with no awkwardness or adjustment period yet others become uncomfortable if there little contact for only a short period of time. Why do some endure and others fizzle or implode?

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

6 comments:

Nancy said...

That's wonderful that you've reconnected with friends.
I went to a catholic school for 8 years - class not quite as small, but we all seemed to go our separate ways too, even though alot of us went to the same high school.
I don't know why some friendships pickup again after years and others fall apart after a short time.
I had two very very very good friends in h.s. (sisters) and after h.s. we went our separate ways and when ever we see each other we have NOTHING to say to each other! I can barely remember our friendship in h.s. but other friends it's like it was yesterday we were together. I think it just depends on how much fun you actually had and how much you actually shared with them?

Robyn said...

You're lucky. I don't have a close group from childhood. All my close friends are from college or law school, now going back for well over 10 years.

My BEST friends, however, are the ones who we can pick up right where we left off, as if no time has passed. Those ladies don't hold grudges for unreturned phone calls or emails. Those are my true friends.

Joanne said...

I think our childhood friendships are more pure, we're more ourselves, so the friendships run deeper. How nice that you are reconnecting with so many pals! Enjoy ...

Emerald said...

I agree with Joanne's comment. I also find it comforting to connect with the friends I had as a child because they KNOW me, they knew my family, my pets, my dreams, and my disappointments.

Trippy Hippy said...

I agree with the others. Older friendships are more pure, more innocent. THey are reflective of our true, inner selves and not who we've become by conditioning. I don't know if that made sense. So many friendships are shallow and superficial. It's nice to find deep and meaningful ones. Those are rare.

Gena B. said...

Those older/longer friendships probably were built on a foundation more solid. I notice that many I was once close to I have drifted from and those who were friends long ago have reappeared back into my life. Funny how it works, my friend.