Saturday, April 12, 2008

Double Standard

So my husband and I (and the kids) went to Costco the other day. On the car ride over our 2-year-old daughter fell asleep. So my husband carried her in and sat in one of the chairs inside the warehouse, holding her. I, meanwhile, took our very awake 10-month-old son with me in the cart while I did all the shopping. While I had many people stop to look at our son or to tell me how cute he was I didn’t have a single person stop to tell me what a good mother or brave mother I was for taking my son out while I did major shopping. To be honest, I don’t expect people to. I consider it part of my daily life. I do it all the time.

However, my husband informs me that he had many people come up to him while he was sitting there (read: not shopping with an active 10 month old) holding our sleeping daughter to tell him what a great father he was for holding his kid while she slept. My husband is a great father; that is not in dispute. But no one would stop to tell a mother she was a great mother for holding her child if the roles were reversed. It is just expected because that is what mommy’s do; but if a father then does it society thinks they deserve a medal. Am I just being too sensitive or does it seem like quite the double standard? Why are mothers rarely praised and criticized so heavily when they do 99 percent of the child raising, but if men merely acknowledge their children they are treated like father of the year? They are rarely judged or criticized for how they interact (or don’t interact) with their children. Just seems to me that women are held to an impossible standard while men are held to no standard at all when it comes to the care of our children

No comments: