Monday, January 4, 2010

Gut Feelings

I tend to be what could be viewed as a bit pessimistic or glass half empty type of person. I prefer to look at it as a realist versus an idealist, but I won't go into the whole issue of semantics. The point is when a situation presents itself or a scenario unfolds I tend to explore, research, analyze the negative outcomes first and solutions to those before i allow myself to consider the possibility that they'll have a positive outcome. The benefit to this is that I am usually pretty well -equipped to handle bad news, trying situations and the like.

With having kids I've masked a lot of that natural pessimism and instead focused on the positives, because let's face it...I don't want to skew my kids' view of the world. Who does? Despite the rah-rah positive attitude I still often get premonitions or gut feelings about situations or circumstances and rarely am I wrong about those. So, to say I rely on my gut heavily is an understatement. I'm still Type A to the core with my flow charts and spread sheets and risk analysis summaries but if I have a gut feeling about something, even if it looks good on paper, I'll usually go with my gut.

That explanation leads me to this relatively new gut feeling. A positive type of anxiousness or anticipation that I can't quite put my finger on. It's not nervousness or excitement, really but more of just a sense that something big (in a good way) lies over the horizon. It's strange because it's not like I am waiting on specific news that I have a good feeling about. It's totally abstract and completely vague, but I can't shake the feeling. It's just this undercurrent that seems to be saying that things will be okay, better than okay, that something is going to happen to make a positive difference. I guess if anything good happens I could attribute that to the feeling, but I think it's bigger than that. That IF something does happen, I'll know. I'll be able to feel a sudden calm of the anxiousness and anticipation.

Do you ever have feelings like this? Do you tend to pay much attention or dismiss them?

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