Monday, January 11, 2010


My husband and I have a very complicated relationship with his family. This past week, however, we got a phone call from his mother informing us that his grandmother had been hospitalized and was not expected to make it. (I won't get into the fact that she had been in the hospital 10 days before they decided to let us know). So, as usual we put our differences aside, which really means we act like they haven't treated us horribly over the past seven years and do what we need to do. So, my husband called and spoke to his grandmother. She wasn't able to speak but at least he was able to say what he needed. This was after we were told that she was going to basically die right then and there.

A few days pass and we hear nothing, until today when I get an email from his mother letting us know that she is still alive. Which is good, assuming she's not in horrible pain which we wouldn't know since the information we've been given is limited and a bit cryptic. So, we are pretty much just waiting around to see what happens.

Here's the thing, though and this sounds awful, but anyone in our position would understand. We get a phone call at LEAST once a year from his mother telling us that someone has some fatal condition and has mere moments to live. Then inevitably we either a)hear nothing about it ever again or b)get notice that "a miracle" has occurred and the ill person is now completely cured, more than likely a result of his mother's claims of a direct line to God. Like last year we get a phone call from her telling us my husband's father has been diagnosed with prostate cancer and it didn't look good. She then calls my mom hysterical that her husband is dying of cancer and their wish is that we all reconcile, etc. My husband called his father right away who tells us that he doesn't have cancer but his PSA (?) levels were elevated and they wanted to run some more tests, which eventually revealed that he did not have cancer. When confronted, according to her he did have cancer, but God took it away.

So, with this history we are not sure what to believe or not. My husband's grandmother in her mid-eighties so death is certainly within the realm of not only possibility but likelihood. But during the course of our marriage his grandmother has been moments from death close to a dozen times. However, in case this time is for real, as usual, we treat it as if it were the truth. While my husband doesn't like to be caught up in the drama I think that if she is telling the truth and my husband didn't talk to his grandmother and she really did die he'd regret it. So, we tolerate the escapade. What else can we do?

1 comment:

Joanne said...

I guess keep on with what you're doing. It's like the boy who cried wolf, and when there really is a wolf, no one believes it. Maybe you can tell her that unless you hear otherwise, you will always assume all is fine? Best wishes ...