30 in 4!!!

A few years back when my almost five year old son was around 2 I got serious about my diet and exercise and dropped 32 pounds in about 4 months. I felt great. I got to go out and buy new clothes in brand new sizes, my joints didn't ache as much, I had significantly more energy, and I just felt so much better about myself. I managed to keep that weight off for about a year until I got pregnant with my third. I figured after I had her I would maintain a similar regimen and lose the weight fairly quickly. Oh, the folly!

Eighteen months later and I am in the ballpark of the weight I was a few years ago before I dropped 32 pounds. It sucks. I am tired a lot, my knees and back kill (I will always have knee and back problems thanks to years of playing through injuries in high school and college, however these parts hurt much less when they're not lugging around 30-40 pounds of extra weight), my clothes don't fit right, and I am just unhappy with the extra weight.

The thing with me is I suck at dieting. I always cheat and crave what I can't have. The only way in the past I have been able to keep weight off for a significant amount of time is to just restrict calories and exercise. April 1 was my self-imposed start date for healthier living. We joined a country club primarily for its pool access (unrelated to my weight loss, but a happy coincidence that it is providing a way to stay active). My goal is to weight lift and do high intensity interval training 3x/week in addition to swimming and playing with the kids in the pool another 3-4x/week.

This is only week one and I have a ways to go but already, despite being sore and exhausted, I feel like I have so much more energy. My back is killing and my knees hurt but I know that is just from not doing anything active the past two years and as the weight comes off those pains will minimize. I've been eating pretty healthy and been staying within my calorie allotment. I put an app on my iphone that has been helpful in keeping me honest in terms of what I put into my body. In five days I have dropped 7 pounds. I know that rate won't/can't be maintained but it feels nice to see results. It gives me the boost and encouragement I need to continue, knowing that if I keep at it there will be results. I gave myself an arbitrary deadline of July 31 to try to drop 30 pounds. If I don't give myself a finishing point I will find a way to push it off. So, to keep me motivated I have to view that as the deadline.

So, what about you? What are some ways you have been successful in getting weight off and more importantly keeping it off?

Keeping Abreast

I have been cursed (although I guess some would consider it a blessing) with pretty large breasts. Even when I was incredibly fit, they were large. I hate them. They have caused back problems, made it difficult to find shirts that fit comfortably, and pretty much just drive me crazy. After having my son, I was the heaviest I had ever been. The weight I gained during his pregnancy just redistributed itself from my stomach to the rest of my body after I gave birth. Last April I got sick of being fat and started working my butt of to lose weight, through exercise and eating right....and less. For the most part I have been successful. In the past year I have lost 30+ pounds and kept it off. I am still trying to lose another 15 to 20.

The problem is that the one place I seem to be losing very little weight is my boobs. I've lost weight across my back and across the area of my chest ABOVE my breasts. My bra strap size has decreased a couple of inches. I'm narrower than I have been in years and I've gone down 7 pant/short sizes and a couple of shirt sizes as well. I even had to buy smaller underwear. But the boobs just won't go away. At all.

Part of it may be because I am still breastfeeding my son. However, even taking into account milk production if breasts are pretty much fatty tissue and I am losing fatty tissue everywhere else on my body it would stand to reason that I would at least lose SOME in my breasts, right? Everyone says you can't target specifics places for weight loss, that as you lose weight you will lose it everywhere. This seems to be true for me except that my breasts seem to be the one targeted place that will not lose weight. (For the purposes of full disclosure, they have gone down about a cup size, maybe two....but in proportion to the amount of weight the rest of my body is losing my boobs seem to be losing next to nothing.) I can't tell you how frustrating this is.

So, any suggestions?

To Indulge or Not to Indulge

I was one of those rare creatures that HATED chocolate. I didn't like the taste at all and I never understood the compulsion others had to satisfy their craving by consuming vast amounts. All of that changed in October of 2004. For it was in that month that I became pregnant. Within months I was craving chocolate cake with an intensity that I didn't know I possessed any more. I began my search for the perfect cake and eventually settled on a huge, deliciously rich and moist cake from Costco that I would send my husband out to buy on a weekly basis. It is amazing to think that during that pregnancy I only gained 18 pounds considering I probably ate that amount in cake each week. This strong urge to consume chocolate in all forms lasted the duration of the pregnancy, but for the most part disappeared once I gave birth. Every once in a while that craving would return, which I'd satisfy, and then it'd be months before I even thought of chocolate again.

Then August of 2006 hit and I was pregnant again. Almost immediately the craving for chocolate returned. Only this time, in addition to cake, I craved chocolate ice cream and candy bars too. It was nine glorious months of guilt-free indulgence. Then I gave birth and the cravings did not go away.

So here I am almost two years later and every once in a while get these intense cravings. I try to eat healthy and work out as I'm still trying to lose a little more weight. In my mind I figure by caving I am only undoing all the hard work I put in at the gym or off-setting all the healthy choices I had made with food. But man I am dying. Every once in a while I give in and I'm okay with that as long as it remains the exception and does not become the rule because but if I gave in each time I had a craving I'd be over 200 pounds.

So, how do you deal with cravings that become consuming at times?

The Fat Girl

This is me on Christmas Day 2007 (the fat one). Pictures don't lie and it's depressing to see I really was that fat.

This is me on October 2008 (30 pounds lighter). I think I still need to lose another 10-15, but at least I'm not the fat girl anymore...not that there is anything wrong with that, but it is nice to fit into smaller sized clothing and be in better shape and lead a more active lifestyle.

Update on My Weight Loss Journey

When I started my weight loss journey in April I had very specific goals about how much weight I wanted to lose, how I was going to do it, and when I was going to do it by. My goal by August 31 (yesterday) was to have lost 35 total pounds. Yesterday I sat at 31 pounds lost. So, I’m a few pounds away from my goal, but pretty darn close. Since I was not entirely sure how much I needed to lose (I knew I needed to lose somewhere between 40-60 pounds) I figured my body would tell me when I needed to stop. So far it is saying, "Keep going, you’re almost there."

My initial long-term goal was to have lost 50 pounds by October 12. I don’t think that is probably very realistic or healthy at this point. The more I have lost the harder it has become to continue losing. There’s less to lose than when I started. As a result, I decided to reassess since I’ve stayed pretty much on track and met each short-term monthly goal.

My new goal is that by December 31 I want to have finished the weight loss portion of my goal and start the New Year in maintenance mode. By that date I will have hoped to lose 40-60 pounds (the range due to the fact that I’m not entirely sure if I need to lose 60, but certain I need to lose 40 total pounds).

This has been an incredibly amazing experience. It has not only transformed my body, but my life as well. I don’t think that by merely changing your physical appearance, in my case weight, it changes fundamentally who you are, but I do believe it makes you perceive yourself differently. It raises your self-esteem. It gave me confidence knowing that I could set a goal, work hard to reach that goal, and see such drastic results. It’s a nice feeling to go into my closet and have nothing fit because it is all way too big. Just 4 ½ months ago nothing fit because it was too tight. I have gone down three full sizes and am close to going down another size… a size I haven’t worn since I was in high school. I can’t wait to see the end result.

On that note, I am heading to the gym.