Oh, Rats

I'm an animal lover, but I draw the line at insects, rodents, and reptiles. They freak me out and I really don't want them in my house, let alone as pets. We have a dog and probably always will and for as long as we've had kids we have had fish (constantly replacing them as they die).

This morning we awoke to find the two fish we've had for quite a while belly up. In the past I just replace them before the kids notice, but this morning my daughter was quicker than I was so I leveled with her and told her they had died. What followed was a series of questions about how they died, why they died, where they'll go now (after we ceremoniously flushed them down the toilet), and what new pet we can get next.

I suggested more fish. However, my daughter said she was "over" fish and wanted a turtle. I like turtles, think they are cute but after a quick google search revealed they are one of the worst pets you can get a child due to the fact they are carriers of salmonella which apparently is transferred pretty easily to a child, that idea was nixed.

A friend suggested a rat and as I was doing a little research my daughter saw a picture online and it was love at first site (Yes, with a rat!) "Oh, that is so cute. I love that rat. I want to get it and it can sleep in my bed with me, and I'll tuck it in." My response. "Seriously?" I hate rats. We have little field mice out here in the desert and I hate seeing them running around. The last thing I want is one in my house that I invited in to stay. After hours of talking about this rat I relented and agreed to go to the pet store.

Right away she and my son fell in love with a Fancy Blue Rat (whatever the heck that means). As I was talking to the "Rodent Expert" the kids just sat there talking to her. I couldn't resist. We got the rat, and the cage, and the food, and all the other millions of things a rat needs.

I'll admit that she's got a good temperament; she lets the kids poke and prod her and she seems happy for the attention. And I'll even admit that I am slightly fascinated by how coordinated and agile she seems to be. But I don't want to touch it or hold it or clean its cage or do anything else that will put me in contact with it. Domesticated or not, it's a rat.

A Toys R Us Kid

Our daughter's birthday is next week and for months now she has been saying she wants a two wheel bike. So, we planned to take her to the toy store this week and let her pick one out. A couple of days ago she informs me that she has decided she doesn't want a bike for her birthday because it is too hot outside, but wants it for Christmas instead (when it's not hot).

Then I asked her what she wanted for her birthday instead. She said, "I'm not really sure right now. Maybe you can just take me to Toys r Us so I can look around and pick something out there that I want."

And so it begins.......

Revolutionary Road

I watched Revolutionary Road tonight. We've had it in our possession for some time (via Netflix) and tonight I finally sat down to watch it. I had heard great things about it and I like Kate Winslet. We just saw The Reader and thought she was wonderful in that. And while Winslet was great again in this movie, as was DiCaprio, it was not at all what I expected based on previews I had seen and reviews I had read.....or even based on the DVD sleeve description.

While it was a good movie, it was tragically sad, depressing, and really upsetting. The marriage dynamic, the cheating, and the abortion and subsequent consequences were very bothersome. I think had I known what the movie was really about I would have chosen not to watch it.

Have you seen this movie? What did you think, if so?

The Passing of Fame

It is a bit surreal that Michael Jackson is dead. When I think about it though I could never picture him getting old. Can you picture a 75 year old Michael Jackson? What would he have been like? What would he have looked like? There are many stars that I can picture in later years. Michael Jackson was never one of them. I guess now we will never know.

I love Jackson's music and was morbidly fascinated with him as a character and as a performer. The whole child molestation accusations soured me on him a bit, not to mention that his general behavior was so bizarre. Just the suddenness of his passing is so shocking that it just doesn't seem real.

On the other hand there is the death of Farrah Fawcett. When I read that this morning it made me really sad. I don't know entirely why. I wasn't a fan of hers in particular, but I think just because she was America's sweetheart through much of my childhood it seems all the more surreal that she is gone. Plus the entire situation is so tragic. The battles her son fought with drugs, the fact that he is currently in jail. All of that must have brought her great sadness, not to mention the regret her son must feel.

A shocking day to say the least.

Reflections on What is Wrong with Our Culture

I wrote a bit about my feelings on politicians and their affairs a few weeks ago. Yet again, we have the governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford embroiled in controversy as he was caught amid lies and then forced to admit to an affair. The part that really irks me about him is two fold (and this is in addition to the fact that he was having an affair period): in his public apology he apologizes first for the pain he has caused his mistress. His friends, wife, and sons all follow. That says something. Along with that is the portion where he states he was crying his eyes out in Argentina the past five days. Why? Because he was heart broken over having to leave his mistress to actually honor the commitment he made to his wife? That really rubs me the wrong way. The second part of my frustration is that he and his wife were supposedly separated with the intent of strengthening their marriage. I'm not really sure how visiting your mistress for a week will result in a strengthening of your marriage commitment to the wife you have been cheating on.

Like I mentioned before, cheating by anyone is wrong, equally wrong regardless of what political party you belong to. However, it especially seems to irritate me when the Republican party, and this man in particular, makes a concerted effort to be America's moral police, constantly telling the rest of us what we ought to be doing, all the while doing exactly what they are railing against and condemning. These affairs just highlight the larger problem in America, or the world for that matter, which is a general degradation of morals and values.

People go around acting as if they are accountable to no one, as if vows they took and promises they made are meaningless, as if they are somehow above the other slime that lies, cheats, and steals, and as if an apology somehow makes it all better. This isn't simply limited to politicians. We hear more about politicians because they are in the public eye and possibly held to a higher standard, but everyday men and women engage in this same shameful behavior. It is nothing more than hubris that allows them to believe they will really get away with it.

Integrity is the measure of a person and if you cannot be trusted then there isn't much left.

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It has become increasingly apparent with the recent DC Metro accident and Air France crash that people have developed a cavalier attitude towards safety. It is concerning that in both instances recommendations were made that would have ensured greater safety and both recommendations were either ignored or had not yet been implemented. It seems like there should be a way for travellers to check to see if the particular plane, train, or automobile that they are travelling in or on has had recommendations made and whether or not those were actually followed and implemented. It never ceases to amaze me when officials know that recommendations were made, choose not to prioritize them, and then act shocked when a catastrophic, life-taking event occurs. It makes me mad that the powers that be take these recommendations so cavalierly, as if life is inconsequential. Companies are worried about cost, time involved, and the work required. I understand that. However, it would sure be nice if that same level of concern was given to the lives of those who were on these ill-fated vessels of transportation. Maybe they wouldn't be dead now.

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Until the past few weeks I have watched exactly one episode of Jon and Kate Plus Eight. The one I watched was so disturbing to me that I never tuned in again. I hated the way Kate barked at her husband, I hated witnessing how weak her husband either is or was portrayed, and it pained me to know that those eight kids now had a childhood tainted by "reality." However, this week I watched three episodes, including the one where the big divorce announcement was made. It made me cringe. It seems self-serving that they have chosen to take something private and painful and turn it into a public spectacle. Shame on them. Those children will now have footage for an eternity documenting the demise of their parents' marriage and the end of their family.

Honestly, as Jon and Kate began noticing things going south in their marriage they should have called it quits right then and there, got the cameras out of their house, and made a legitimate attempt to fix their marriage, or at least agree to end things in private and not with America watching. This should not be something that plays out in front of a camera. This isn't reality and it shouldn't be entertainment. There are children involved who will one day see this train wreck in all its glory. As a parent I would protect my children at all cost and I think in this situation the show should most certainly not go on chronicling the demise of a family.

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So, what about society is bugging you right now? How do you feel about some of the above issues?

This Too Will Pass

Everything with children comes and goes in phases. This is true of behavior, interests, dislikes, sayings, and the like. When my daughter was first born she went through phases that were foreign to me. Heck, she was my first born; I didn't know what to expect. I thought when she screamed every night for three hours straight, just in order to calm herself, that this would never pass. But it did. I thought her unwillingness to share her toys with others might mean she'd grow up to be selfish. It too passed and she shares willingly and graciously now. I thought the horrible tantrums that lasted over a year and that would go on for hours meant she surely must have some behavioral disorder. I thought she would never overcome the incredible shyness she possessed early on. However, like all that had come before it too passed. The thing is that people told me it was a phase. They told me it would pass. My parents, my friends with children, my pediatrician, well-meaning acquaintances all assured me that nothing was wrong and all children behaved this way. Every child goes through a wide-range of phases. But I worried and fretted.

Then I had my son ( two years ago now) and while he hasn't gone through the same phases my daughter did he has gone through phases of his own, that eventually passed as well. I'm much more prepared this time around. I'm more relaxed and not convinced that every phase is an indication that I have somehow failed as a mother or that every tantrum is indicative of some type of behavioral issue that will guarantee my child a spot in the federal or state penal system down the road.

I wish I would have listened to everyone sooner. I wish I would have just chilled out a bit and not worried so much. I realize now how pointless all that worry was. My daughter has her days like any other child, but she's happy, healthy, caring, empathetic, sweet, intelligent, and the list goes on. She doesn't scream herself to sleep at night, she doesn't refuse to share her toys, she doesn't have tantrums that go on for hours. She's a normal, well-adjusted almost 4 year old.

Everything is a phase and everything will pass. As a parent it is hard for me to trust that sometimes. But I have to. I have living proof that this is true as I'd venture to say most parents do too.

So, what are/were some of the phases your children went through that you were convinced would never pass?

Mommy's Gone Catatonic

I hurt my neck, shoulders, and upper back two weeks ago. Not really sure how but it feels like a combination of extreme whiplash, stiff neck, and pinched nerve. I have been very uncomfortable to say the least.

I was given muscle relaxers, despite my hesitation to use them. (I'm pretty anti-medication; unless absolutely vital I'd rather just tough it out instead of depending on medicine for relief). I was in so much pain last night that I broke down and took one. It helped a little in that my husband was able to rub my neck and shoulders very lightly without me crying out in excruciating pain. However, all day today I was in a fog. Beyond tired, barely functioning. Just wiped out. At one point I closed me and the kids in a bedroom and layed on the bed as they played, barely able to keep my eyes open. It was awful.

What I learned is that I can never take this particular muscle relaxer again if I want to be able to function at all the next day. It's strange too because I usually have a very high tolerance with medication. When I go to the dentist, no lie, they give me a minimum of 10 shots before I am numb. They've never seen anything like it. When I had a cap put on my tooth I received 16 shots. It was excruciating the next day when the numbness wore off. So, it's a little strange that one pill, in a low dose, had such an effect on me.

So, I am fairly certain that the next time I am prescribed a muscle relaxer I'll politely decline and just find a way to live with the pain. I think a chiropractor may be my next stop.