Addison Rerecich, The Pink Ninja, Gets a Second Chance at Life

A young girl, 11 years old, who is a member of the church I grew up in became very ill last May. She ended up in the ICU where she still remains. This was written by her mother on a Facebook page that people around the world have been following, "Addison Rerecich was a normal, healthy 11 year old girl, until late last May, when she was suddenly stricken with a dangerous bacterial infection in her bloodstream. Although she has survived the initial infection, her lungs were horribly damaged, and she has been in the Intensive Care unit at UMC's Diamond Children's Center for more than 3 months, fighting for her life. She now is waiting for a lung transplant, her only hope for recovery."

She has been dubbed The Pink Ninja because by all medical accounts she should have died months ago. The fact that she is still hanging on is nothing short of a miracle. I have spent a lot of time checking the Facebook page for updates, hoping and praying, that this little girl is given the life saving transplant she needs, while acknowledging for that to happen someone else has to say goodbye to a loved one and make the difficult decision of whether or not to donate.

Yesterday, Addison underwent a double lung transplant that will ultimately give her a second chance at life. It won't be the same life this once healthy, athletic girl had, but it will be a new life nonetheless. It was indescribable the relief I felt when I read that she was in the operating room. I was also incredibly sad that for this to happen some other family had to grieve the loss of a loved one. It also made me incredibly grateful to that family that in a moment of such sorrow they were able to make such a selfless, life-giving decision. Her family has been very cognizant of this fact through the entire process.

Today, I am just incredibly thankful that this child who has fought for months, is breathing air through lungs that aren't riddled with bacteria and punctured with holes and that were rendered useless. She has been kept alive by machines. Without those the doctors said she would have died within seconds to minutes, not hours, not days. While she is still on a ventilator her lungs are able to finally take in and expel equal amounts.

Today is a good day. Today is the first day of a new life for an 11 year old girl and her family.

Tonsils are Coming Out

Our 4 year old son has had a host of health problems since about 8 months of age. He is sick all the time. Our doctor finally referred us to an ENT after realizing his tonsils are always swollen and red, even when healthy. Bottom line is he needs them out.

This makes me really nervous. I know statistically it is a really safe surgery but it still freaks me out. I don't like the idea of him undergoing anesthesia. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but probably just because there is the smallest chance that something could go wrong. If anything happened to any of my kids I really don't think I could go on.

I left the appointment knowing that the surgery is necessary and the rational part of me thinks that if diseased tonsils could possibly be the cause of all of his illnesses then it is totally worth it to remove them. If this will give him the chance of being healthier then I owe it to him to allow the surgery. But as his mother, it still worries me immensely.

I talked it over with my husband who pretty much thinks the surgery is a no-brainer. He didn't even hesitate. He told me to call the scheduler first thing in the morning and get it done.

What say you? Have you had your tonsils out? Have your kids had theirs out? Did it make a difference? Any horror stories I should be aware of?

August Randomness

Our first grade daughter is beginning her third week of school. So far, so good. She loves it and her teacher is terrific. I feel very blessed to have had such great experiences with her teachers in both Kindergarten and now first grade. One bad teacher can make for a miserable year.

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Our 11 month old started walking a couple of weeks ago. It is adorable and amazing how quickly it happened. Our other kids took a while longer and toddled a bit. She just decided one day to start walking and that was it. It may have had something to do with the fact that our 4 year old son slammed her hand in the door, practically ripping off one of her fingers. She was unable to crawl, so she just stood up and took off. I guess that is one positive after the trip to the ER.

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This same 11 month old may send me to an early grave. She cries the majority of the day. It's unreal. She as the most calm baby in the entire world until about 3 months ago. It's insane. I think part of it is frustration in that she wants to do what her older siblings do, but she just isn't physically able. Some of it is communication. I was convinced there was something terribly wrong and took her to the doctor. I figured a child who cries this much has to be in pain somewhere. We left with the official diagnosis of "general fussiness." The doctor said, "She is perfectly healthy. It looks like you are just going to have to wait it out." So, I've started drinking.....kidding, I kid!

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Our 4 year old son is insistent that he start Kindergarten next year (we had been considering holding him back). I started my pre-school curriculum with him and academically I don't think there is anyway I can hold him back. He'd be bored to tears. We'll see though. It breaks my heart having to think about sending him off to school.

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This year has been to date, the most difficult year of our lives. Many changes, disappointments, illnesses, and unknowns. Things finally, slowly seem to be stabilizing. However, there will be lots of changes and adjustments occurring in the coming months. I'd appreciate prayers, good thoughts, etc. We could use them!

Thanks for reading.

A Note to My Daughter's School

Dear School Personnel,

Please take care of my baby this year. Be kind, compassionate, challenging, and fair. Foster her love of learning and her love of school in general. Encourage her inquisitiveness. Protect her, care for her, demand her best and be a good example. Most of all, treat her as if she were your own.

Love,

Her Mother

Kindergarten Redshirt Year

All of my kids have summer birthdays and in Arizona meet the age cutoff (must be 5 by Sept 1 or else they have to wait until the following year to start) to start school right after they turn 5. However, by doing that they are young for their grade. Our daughter who has a July birthday started school in August after just having turned 5. She went to school with kids who were already 6 and kids who would turn 6 a few months in. She was the second youngest in the class with a little boy turning 6 a few days after she did. I didn't worry about sending her because she was more than ready both academically and socially. She thrived in school and had a wonderful year. I expect her 1st grade experience to be more of the same.

Our son just turned 4 at the very end of May. He is slated to start Kindergarten in August 2012, so next school year. I have recently been having discussions with my husband about "redshirting" him and waiting to start him until August 2013 instead, so he would start school having just turned 6. My reasons for doing this are many but primarily while I have no doubt he is likely ready academically I do worry about him socially in the sense that I feel schools are set up for how girls learn. They are not necessarily conducive to what is best for young boys. I don't know that he could sit still for 20 minutes and listen or work on an activity and I don't know if in a year from now, when he is able to start, he'll be ready then either. He's a well-behaved but highly active boy and I don't want him "beaten into submission" at school if giving him an extra year can harness and tame some of that energy naturally. There is a ton of research to back up that boys who wait a year and start a bit older tend to do better in school long-term. There is also the whole NFL Hockey thing where statistically NFL Hockey players tended to be older for their grade in elementary school. The theory goes that they are more physically developed than some of their peers, thereby becoming the better players in high school and college. There are also cons which we are well versed in too.

I've started mentioning my dilemma to a few friends only to find out that many of them are struggling with the same decision and for many of the same reasons I have mentioned. I go back and forth but I keep coming back to the fact that I have never once heard a parent say, "I wish I wouldn't have held my son back that year." However, I have heard many, my mother included, say, "I wish I would have held my son back and given him an extra year to mature a bit."

I am curious if you have any experience with this? Did you hold your son back? Do you wish you did? Were you intentionally held back?

Part II in the Age Appropriateness Saga

The more I thought about the whole issue, the more bothered I became. I was certainly bothered by the video shown but I was more bothered by the Pastor's response. Prior to this experience I had really liked him, thought well of him, and would likely have never questioned his judgment. However, this decision and more specificially his continual defense of his decision has made me realize that there are deep pedagogical and practiccal differences in what he views as appropriate for children and what my husband and I view as appropriate. My husband and I, as I am sure most parents, make judgments all the time about what we feel is appropriate to expose our kids to. Sometimes we have been wrong and we acknowledge that and we know to do things differently next time. I don't feel that this was the case here. While he ultimately removed the Kindergarteners (and my daughter who is going into first) from further viewing of the movie in subsequent days he continued to defend its appropriateness for grades 1 and above. I feel like at home we work hard to protect the innocense of our children. Even sending her to a public school, where the fear among evangelical conservatives is that their children will be exposed to inappropriate content, be it sexual, violence, etc, she wasn't exposed to anything close to this. It is very bothersome to me that the place she was unapologetically exposed was at a church. (The irony is that my particular brand of religion, at least the one I was raised in, is pretty critical of public education and the influence of people affiliated with it. The irony is not lost on me that the place where my child was first exposed to grpahic violence was not at the public school but at a church. If my daughter's Kindergarten teacher would have shown a video with a similar graphic nature she would be out of a job. But that's another topic).

We were made aware that there were other parents who also were bothered by this showing and expressed concern as well. It was suggested by multiple people that maybe that time could be better spent doing something other than watching the video. This suggestion was rebuffed. My husband emailed the Pastor that evening after viewing the video himself and wanted to make sure our daughter would be revmoved from the viewing the following day. He also called into question the educational value of such a long clip (25-30 minutes) for that young of an age group.

A flurry of email exchanges took place. The Pastor's initial email response was pretty strongly worded and pretty defensive, which only served to escalate the situation a bit.. He continued to defend his choice, standing firm in his insistence that it has educational value. In fact he believes "the movie in general does a fantastic job of reinforcing the lesson...it tied in completely." He went on to say, "We thought so highly of the tone of the movie that it was worth the time to take to view." (To be entirely fair he did apologize for the "difficulty it has caused you and your family." However, there was no apology for the actual showing, just our perception of it being inappropriate).

My husband's concern at this point, with the Pastor's continual defense, was that:

As a parent who entrusts my children to the Pastors who are charged with protecting, teaching, and nurturing them it concerns me you find this appropriate and continue to defend its use.

I think it best that this discussion simply end. Much of this exchange could have been avoided had your response been different when my wife first brought the concern to you or even your initial response to my email. A simple, "I am sorry you were offended. Maybe we shouldn't have shown this. We won't do it again." would have shown a more genuine attempt on your part to understand and address our concern. Both my wife and I feel you have been more concerned about defending your decision than legitimately addressing our concern or showing any amount of empathy.

My husband and I were then a bit conflicted. We both would have liked to not send her back but we also didn't want her to know there was a conflict. So, we did send her on Thursday and she did not view the video. They put the Kindergarteners (and my daughter) in with the 3-4 year olds. When my husband went to pick her up yesterday grades 1-6 were watching another segment from the film. Those aren't my children so it wasn't really my business anymore, but because of this experience I would likely not allow my children to attend another function at this church. Or if I were to reconsider I would definitely want to view any curriculum or instructional aides ahead of time. If I can't trust the Pastor's judgment about what is age appropriate then I feel like I am playing a game of Russian Roulette each time I send my kids off there. It's a shame all the way around.

I don't want to bash religion or Christians. I am a Christian. We raise our children in the church. However, it is difficult for me when Christians behave in ways that are so antithesis to what the Bible instructs. Why would anyone who is not a Christian ever want to be one when things like this happen? VBS is used as a community outreach. The goal of every church who puts on a VBS is to not only provide Christian instruction for its members but also to maybe get unchurched visitors who would consider joining. While I am not a member of this particular church, I am at this church's sister church. What if I were just a random member of the community and this was my exchange with a Pastor? I would never go back. If that was my only exposure to Christianity and Christians I certainly wouldn't want to be one. Right or wrong, people are judge on behavior and in this instance I feel there were multiple opportunities for this Pastor to back off his stance that this video was age appropriate. But he didn't. He continued to defend it and continued to show it despite having concerns brought to him by multiple parents. To me that just seems like someone trying to dig in his heels and not someone who is interested in truly trying to understand where anyone else was coming from.

Bottom line is the issue is over. It happened. I now know that this is how this particular Pastor responds to issues of concerns brought by parents and knowing that I will make decisions regarding my children accordingly.

An Issue of Age-Appropriateness

So, I want to share with you an experience I had today and get some feedback on both my reaction and the response I received. My almost 6 year old daughter attended Vacation Bible School today at a church affiliated with our usual church. At the end of the day they were watching a video about the story of Joseph and Potiphar's Wife. A quick recap for those who are unfamiliar: Joseph is sold by his brothers to Potiphar. Potiphar's wife seduces Joseph and then lies to Potiphar, telling him the reverse and making up other lies about Joseph's behavior. The portion of the movie I walked in on was when Joseph was being whipped for his supposed transgressions. I included the video below (please fast forward to the 2 minute mark and watch until the 2:32 mark). This was shown to the class today, including kids as young as 5.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-SWodAV0sY&feature=related

I was bothered. I felt it was a little intense for that age group. It further bothered me when the entire first row of little kids gasped and put their hands over their eyes (my daughter included). We are very careful about what we let our kids watch. Their exposure to television is very limited and we certainly don't let them watch shows with graphic, violent content.

At the end I approached the Pastor, who in general I feel is a very nice man. However, his response today was very disappointing. In a very non-confrontational way I told him that I was a bit concerned about the graphic nature of the video as that is not something I would choose to show my children. His initial response was that because it happened that way in the Bible he does not believe we should alter, modify, water down, change, etc. the specifics. I pointed out that, while I agree that the stories shouldn't be changed, I didn't think it was then necessary to show the visual reenactment of something that could possibly be upsetting to young children. I stated that while my children knew the details of Jesus' crucifixion I wouldn't go home and show them Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ until they were older and it was more age appropriate. He disagreed. My response was that when I was teaching in a public HIGH SCHOOL I would not have been allowed to show that clip (and not because of the religious nature, but because of the graphic content). I further pointed out that any clip I did want to show had to be approved by the principal first and then I had to send out permission slips that gave parents the opportunity to opt their child out. I explained that I felt like we should have been given some notice that this type of video was going to be shown.

His “solution” was that tomorrow I could put my 1^st grader in with the 3-4 year olds because they watch a cartoon version. I just wanted him to understand that while some kids are exposed to that or aren't bothered by that, I KNEW that this was something that was going to bother my daughter. He dismissed that concern. There was more, but essentially he disagreed, which is fine, but also completely dismissed and invalidated my concerns about the content and the fact that he made a decision about what he felt was appropriate for my child to view without giving me the opportunity to have any input. Further there were some very patronizing “solutions” offered.

My daughter, who had no knowledge of my conversation with the pastor, came and found me and the first thing she told me was about this “terrible movie where this bad man whipped Joseph and his blood went all over.” She was very bothered and has talked about it ALL day. Further, she drew a picture for my grandmother depicting a man getting beat. She explained, “This is Joseph. He's getting whipped and this red part is his blood going all over.” Not really something I am happy about.

While the showing of the video bothers me, the Pastor's response bothers me even more. He could have said, “You know, I made a judgment call. I felt it was appropriate. I'm sorry if it offended you. Next time I will ask.” End of story. Instead he made excuse after excuse and pretty much tried to make me feel like it was ridiculous that I would be concerned about the content.

So, I am curious about your take on this? Mainly, is this content that would bother you if your child viewed it and what is your take on the Pastor's response to my concern?