The Hands of Time......Please Turn them Back

In three months I'll be 32. THIRTY-TWO!!! There are days, like today, where I wonder where the time went. It has gone by way too quickly. The cruel twist is that I look like I'm 21 and feel like I'm 25. Yet, the birth certificate doesn't lie. I'm in my thirties.

Tonight I was sitting here thinking about my daughter going off to school next year and quite a bit of panic set in. Then I started visualizing her in first grade, then second, and third.....my mind kept going to where I envisioned myself going to pick her up from 8th grade and I'll be 40! That seems so far away but really it's not. It seems like just yesterday I was 20. Aside from the husband, job, and a couple of kids I feel pretty much the same. So, I started thinking about what I'll look like (will I have any gray hair?), what I'd be wearing (can you still get away with gym shorts at 40?), what would my kids be like, what would my husband look like (who at that point would be 43). That led to 50, then 60. I can't say that these thoughts were met with excitement.

I just wish time would slow the heck down. I love my children at this age. I'd keep them home with me forever if I could. I love having all this time to spend with them, when the biggest influence on them is me. I know once they are older and in school that won't always be the case. Their teachers will spend eight hours a day with them, their coaches maybe two or three. Where does that leave me? A few hours for dinner and before bed. Sorry, but that's not enough.

I loved school. All of it. I loved grade school (except part of first grade and most of seventh), high school, and college. In fact I'd do any and all of it over again. I hope my children have that same wonderful experience and I would never want to deprive them of that or do anything to take away from that. But the selfish, protective mama cub wants to curl up with her babies and stop the hands of time from moving forward. Because I know that with each year that they age, I'll age too and the next thing I know my kids will be married with children of their own and I'll be a grandma.

Can grandma's still wear gym shorts?

The truth is that as long as I look young, feel young, and act young I still think I am young. The reality is that I am not that young anymore. It's strange to wake up one day and realize that you aren't considered a young adult anymore, that you have jumped an age bracket. I'm sure I've matured and grown in ways that I don't realize but to me I feel like someone much younger than the date on my driver's license states.

Anyone else have these feelings?

Why I Bribed My Daughter and How My Son Became The Slayer of Snakes

My four year old daughter gave up naps shortly after she turned one. It has been a long three years. Today, after putting my son down for a nap, I tried to convince my daughter who look exhausted to lay down and take a nap with me. She wanted to play. As I fought sleep I finally resorted to bribing her. I am not proud of this, but I told her that if she would just go to sleep then I'd take her to the store and get her a toy.

She went to sleep.

The joke was on me, though, as by the time my daughter fell asleep I only got to nap for fifteen minutes before my son woke up wanting to play.

Two hours later my daughter woke up. She came down the stairs and the first words out of her mouth were, "Can we go get a toy now?"

I'm a woman of my word so I took them to the store. My son picked out a sword, which against my better judgment I bought him. He uses his baseball bat, tennis racket, sticks and anything else he can find as a weapon to hit his sister with, so a sword was probably not the best idea. Before buying it I told him that he could not ever hit his sister with it and if he did I would take it away.

He said, "No, I'll smote snakes." And that he did. He spent the rest of the afternoon hunting and smoting imaginary snakes throughout our house.

Man Parts

My son has figured out how to pull his "man parts" out of his fly on his underwear. My daughter is equally impressed and duly proud of his accomplishment. My father, who was in town this weekend, came by to see the kids. Apparently, when they were upstairs my daughter explained to my dad that her brother can pull his penis out of his fly. She continued by saying, "But my daddy can't pull his out of his underwear."

I guess the fact that my husband keeps his privates private is a good thing or else we'd have my daughter running around telling everyone that he pulls his penis out of his underwear.

Baby on Brain

A couple different sets of friends of our recently had babies. Like within the same week. Within this same time span we have had three separate announcements from others that they were with child. This is a lot of reproducing going on.

Suddenly, my four year old daughter is OBSESSED with me having another baby. We have gone, in the mere matter of days, from her telling me I should never, ever under any circumstance have another baby to her practically charting when I'll be ovulating for the next six months.

Every morning she wakes up and says, "Are you pregnant yet?" Or, "Is there a baby growing inside your tummy yet?" Every day. Multiple times a day. Did I mention everyday?

This morning, after sitting through breakfast while she quizzed me on whether or not I was pregnant yet, I said, "See this little pill that mommy takes? This makes sure that mommy doesn't have another baby right now." She responded by suggesting, "How about you just don't take those anymore. Then you can have a baby."

Don't get me wrong. I am not opposed to having another child and in all honesty if we do decide to have a third it probably won't be that far down the road. However, it's not happening right this second as my daughter would apparently like. Nor would I be advertising to my four year old we were even trying to get pregnant.

I think the factor that swayed her was when she looked at me earnestly one day about two weeks ago and asked, "If you have another baby, can I boss it around?" I said, "Well, I'm sure you'll boss a new baby around the same way you boss your brother around." She looked very contemplative for a few minutes and then decidedly said, "Well, then you can have another baby. I want you to."

So, there you have it. I guess that settles it.

Pneumonia Boy

My son is currently suffering through his third round of pneumonia in his two short years of life. We spent Wednesday night in Urgent Care after his breathing had become labored and the sounds his lungs were making were not from this planet. Two hours, three chest x-rays, an exam and breathing treatment later we were told he had pneumonia.......again.

Both kids have been sick for almost three weeks now with colds. My daughter is finally on the mend, yet like always a simple cold turns into a serious respiratory complication with my son. I called the doctor Friday who told me to just keep giving him nebulizer treatments at home and that should help clear it up. Against my better judgment I did not take him to Urgent Care over the weekend. By Sunday he seemed to be getting better until Wednesday morning when he totally relapsed. I do this every time. Play the waiting game in my head. Should I take him? What if it's nothing? Then I've wasted time and money, plus exposed him to whatever germs are floating around in the hospital. But what if it's something? And he's just getting worse? The times I don't take him right away and wait are the times he ends up with pneumonia, RSV, Bronchitis, etc. The times I take him right away are the times it is "nothing." I can't win.

So, it looks like we will be spending another week or so cooped up in the house. Then this past week I caught what the kids have had. I feel horrible. The worst part is the exhaustion and constant headache. This afternoon I had my grandmother come over to keep my daughter entertained. I then took a shot of whiskey and took a nap. I woke up an hour later in a puddle of sweat just dripping. Fever broke. So, I'm hoping I will start feeling better soon. As I type this, still not feeling better.

Here's my question/concern/dilemma......Everyone says this is going to be a nasty flu season (and by everyone I mean the reputable people I have spoken to...pediatricians, hospital doctors, friends in the health care field, etc....not the mass hysteria splashed all over the news....although they may be right). Even just taking away the risk of H1N1, the regular flu poses a great risk for my son because of these respiratory issues. I was told last night that the more I could keep him away from group setting, etc. the better. Because I stay home with the kids, this isn't impossible. I don't have him in pre-school or day care of anything like that. However, I do like to leave my house yet sadly every time I do the poor kid ends up hospitalized or close to it. I put my gym membership on hold yesterday for 3 months to wait out the "flu season" since both kids go to a child care facility there. May be extreme, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make right now. I can work out at home if it will mean my son isn't getting constantly sick. However, I do have to go to church, to the grocery store, see other human beings, take my daughter to dance, go to doctor's appointments, essentially function as a social being in a world that is inhabited by other people....people with germs.

Needless to say these past few weeks have been crazy. The house is a wreck, dishes need to be done, clothes need to be washed, folded, and put away, kids rooms need to be cleaned. Honestly, I don't care though....which is saying a lot, because usually I am rather militant about having things picked up in my house the SECOND someone is done using or playing with it. I have neither the energy nor the inclination to play housekeeper right now. I guess I am more concerned that my son can breathe and in the process of taking care of him I don't keel over dead. :) Oh yeah, I could use a shower too. It's been about three days.

So, how are you all feeling? Worried about the flu season?

Can You Hear Me Now?

My daughter has been in her new dance class for 3 weeks now and each week we (all the other parents and grandparents) sit in the lobby, which is fairly small, and wait for the class to end. One particular girl is brought to class by her grandmother each week. This grandmother, for whatever reason, feels that the 45 minutes she waits is the perfect time for her to make a phone call to her gossip buddy and talk the entire time about things none of the rest of us care to hear.

For example, in the past three weeks I have learned the following:

- she has a high school aged grandson who is very troubled and who she feels no one understands but her
- Whether I am watching my daughter dance or not, I, along with every other person in the lobby and the person she is on the phone with, gets a play by play of what is going on during the dance class. "Oh, they are jumping now. Oh, wait now they are changing into their tap shoes. Oh, oh wait now they are all standing in a circle."
- I have learned the eating habits of all her grandchildren, how many snacks they receive during the day, how their food is prepared, and the like
-Apparently, one grandchild will only eat Annie's organic mac and cheese but she "fancies it up" with broccoli. Another only eats grapes, pretzels, and Doritos.
- Her daughter in law also seems to be the brunt of much criticism. She begins many sentences with "And I said..." and then proceeds to loudly inform the person on the other end of the phone what she told her daughter in law and it is usually something critical.
- And today I learned that she thinks either her daughter in law or one of her grand daughters is way too chubby. I couldn't tell which one she was talking about. Apparently, she is going to send a video to her friend, which she has already posted on YouTube, that shows how chubby this person is because all she eats is Italian bread sticks. If you happen to see this video, she is the one on the far right....the chubby one.

Bottom line is that I'm sick of sitting there and listening to her talk. She talks way too loudly and frankly it is too much information. I can envision myself in the near future just losing it and screaming at her to take her conversation outside. I'm privately hoping one of the other moms does it first. I don't know why certain people feel it totally appropriate to have LONG and LOUD conversations in a public setting.

Am I the only one that feels this way?

Sick and Tired

My kids have been sick for two weeks now, primarily with colds. Of course, my son always has respiratory complications so he is still sick and on breathing treatments. I knew I would end up sick, but I started thinking I may get through this unscathed when more than a week and a half passed and I still wasn't sick.

Then I woke up Sunday feeling crappy: sore throat, exhausted, sneezing. Full on cold hit today in addition to some type of stomach bug and cold sweats. Ugh. All I really want to do is crawl into bed and sleep the day away. While I am fairly confident that the kids wouldn't kill themselves or others I greatly fear what my house would look like when I finally awoke. So, for that reason I will suffer through the day, awake, and hope that for the first time in more than two months I actually can sleep through the night tonight.

Being sick sucks. Being sick and having to take care of others is downright torture. Can I get an "Amen?"

So, what do you do when you are sick and tired yet have kids to care for?