GOT MOXY?

Tucson Rodeo 2012

2012-02-18T19:43:00.000-08:00

Every year hundreds of cowboys and cowgirls (over 600 this year) descend upon Tucson to show us what they got. With them comes thousands of fans from all over the country to cheer them on. The Tucson Rodeo is such a big deal here that the last Thursday and Friday in February is officially Rodeo Break and all school districts in Tucson shut down. In fact, last year at a school district meeting wherein we were discussing whether to lengthen the school year one woman suggested that we give up Rodeo Break. You could have heard a pin drop. It was like those movie scenes where the record scratches to a halt. People couldn't believe she just suggested that the beloved and sacred Rodeo Break be sacrificed. When I first started teaching in Phoenix (which doesn't recognize the Rodeo as an official holiday) I was shocked we didn't get Rodeo Break off. All my life, growing up in Tucson, I just assumed everyone got the Rodeo off. My co-workers found the concept of Rodeo Break to be hilarious and got years of mileage out of that one.

Anyway, I hadn't been since I was a kid so we thought we'd take the kids today for Opening Day (it runs all week). We had such an amazing and fantastic time. The kids loved seeing all the animals and competitions. Their favorite event was the steer wrestling. Our oldest daughter, the ultimate lover of animals, was very concerned about the well-being of the animals. She would stand up and shout, "Get the bull, cowboy, but please don't hurt him!" Our son declared it the best day ever and said he wants to be a rodeo cowboy when he grows up. Even our youngest, who is generally a holy terror everywhere we go, was mesmerized by the animals and was in her element being free to roam the rodeo grounds unrestrained. The people there are amazing. Friendly, welcoming, just really down to earth. There truly is not a more family friendly event anywhere.

Here are the kids right before we headed to the Rodeo grounds.

Our eldest daughter and myself, cowgirled-up.

Our youngest. I love this picture for a couple of reasons. First, the vest she is wearing is a vest my great-grandmother made for me when I was my daughter's age. It was part of an outfit. She would be thrilled to know that her great-great granddaughter wore this today. Secondly, when I was a kid my grandparents used to take me to see the cows that were down the road from their house. I would always go ask to see the "moo cows" and there are pictures of me around this age and a bit older standing at the fence like this or in my grandfather's arms looking at the cows. Watching my daughter today reminded me of this.

The vest.
Our kids are hard-core. They left the Rodeo all tatted up.

Catch Up in Pictures

2012-02-08T19:26:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted anything in a while primarily because I don't even know where to start. To say that our life has been insane, upside down, turned around, etc. would be an understatement. However, things are settling down again and I figured I'd do a partial catch up in pictures that I love (and yes, I am well aware that I am totally biased).

Before I had children, in fact before I was even married, I ran by own basketball program at a large high school in Phoenix. I loved coaching. It is a huge passion of mine. When I had our first child over six years ago I gave that up along with my teaching job. Over the past year or two I have really missed coaching. This year I went back to coaching girls Varsity basketball at one of our local high schools here. The administration was great in allowing me to bring my children to the practices (thankfully my husband was home in time to watch them for the games...that would have been difficult). My decision to do this made life exponentially more busy but it was a terrific experience and my kids had a great time. The girls were wonderful with my kids and I will never regret raising gym rats. My daughter especially looked up to the girls on the team and they were so awesome in including her in pre-game activities (I took my daughter with me to a couple of games). She was in hog-heaven.

Our youngest daughter, A, is a spirited child. Days have been hard with her. Recently, she literally almost died and it has made me re-evaluate how I respond to her. While the days are still long and hard sometimes, I am just so thankful that she is here with us knowing that a mere matter of seconds could have meant a difference in whether I would be burying a child this month. I love this girl to pieces!!!

Our son, E, has battled asthma and other lung issues since he was 8 months old. We've had a rough couple of months. Here he is in a compression vest, something we've become all too acquainted with recently. Poor guy has bacterial bronchitis and pneumonia as well as a nasty case of thrush due to all the inhaled steroids he is on to control his asthma. Kid is a mess, but one of the most good natured, cooperative kids you'll ever meet despite spending most of his young life in and out of doctor's offices and hospitals.

E fancies himself a cowboy. He wears his boots everywhere and thinks they are perfect for kicking up dust. Unfortunately for him, his mother doesn't like the fact that the dust causes him to cough. Even when he is pouting this kid just melts my heart.
Our older daughter, D, has joined two cheerleading teams. One is her school team and the second is a team through Parks and Rec. She LOVES it. The Parks and Rec team had to vote on a team name and the name my daughter suggested, The Sparkles, won. She is beyond excited. I was a college basketball player so anyone who knows me finds it hilarious that my daughter is a cheerleader. However, she loves it and that is all that matters. (On a side note, since she spent the basketball season with me in the gym she is actually pretty impressive with a basketball so there still may be hope).
This picture seriously just melts my heart. I've found myself looking at it repeatedly. I just want to freeze them in this moment in time. I hope they are always this close and that he is always this protective of his sisters.
My serious little baby!

The Conclusion of Fall Break

2011-10-15T22:36:00.000-07:00

My dear daughter has had the week off school for Fall Break. It has been glorious. I love having her home. Even thought she is in the midst of her second year in school (and loves it) I miss her terribly each and every day that I have to send her to school. It is not a feeling that has subsided as the days have passed. The thought of sending my little man off to Kinder next year is enough to render me inconsolable for at least ten years. But that's another story for another day.

This week has just been a fun week of spending time together. Last weekend to start her break she had a birthday party for a classmate, which was a lot of fun for her. The next day my husband and I took our kids and my almost 6 year old niece down to the University of Arizona and then out to dinner. It was a wonderful day and evening and the kids had a great time being together. My husband was off Monday so I loaded the day with doctors appointments: dentist visits for the kids and flu shots for me and the hubby. The kids got to spend some time at their great-grandma's house, which they (and she) love. My daughter also got to spend the night with the aforementioned cousin, and then today we had my nephew's 4th birthday party. My dad is also in from DC so they were able to spend some time with him as well. Tomorrow I am going to take the older two kids to see Dolphin Tale.

I am really sad to see this week come to an end. I love having our daughter home during the day and I really, truly miss her when she is gone. So, I am glad we had such a great week to spend together.

Your Christians Are Not Like Your Christ

2011-09-27T14:33:00.000-07:00

My faith is important to me. It has shaped who I am and who my husband and I are raising our children to be. We are Christians and my husband and I were both raised in Christian homes, by Christian parents. Lately, though, I find myself thinking a lot about the quote by Ghandi where he stated, "I like your Christ. I don't like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ."

While my faith is important to me and while there are convictions I have based on this faith, I also like to think of myself as a fairly decent, accepting person. I don't begrudge anyone their religion (or non-religion) or personal preferences. I tend to take the approach that while I believe this way and my life is a reflection of that, you also have the right to believe and live how you want. That being said, as a Christian, there is a certain "code" I live by and expect others who claim to be Christians to live by as well. Some of that includes helping those in need, working hard, and generally treating others how we would want to be treated. There is a verse in the Bible, in the book of Matthew, that states, "Truly, I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." I take that seriously and think that we as people, but especially as Christians, need to treat people better. All people. Not just those we like or those we agree with, but people we may not like, or people we may completely disagree with or even struggle to tolerate.

This past year has been very bumpy for us personally and professionally and the people who I would have expected to offer support didn't. (And by this "support" I am not referring to anything tangible. I'm referring to emotional support, checking in, etc. As a disclaimer, let me also publicly state that I am not referring to my family. They have been wonderful and amazing and things would be unbelievably worse were it not for their help). While this hasn't rocked my faith it has caused me to take a hard (and painful) look at the church to which we belong and those we considered our church family. While there was initial concern, after a few months we heard nothing from anybody there. Nobody checked in to see why we hadn't been to church in a while (serious health issues with our son and my husband's work schedule being the two primary reasons) except for a really snarky email from our pastor after missing a few weeks of services. I had made mention to the pastor early on that as a result of what we were going through we were feeling rather depressed. He never once followed up with either of us to see how we were doing. Outside of one man who was wonderful to my husband in the early months not a single other attempt at outreach was made.

While I have pretty thick skin this hurt a bit. The other part is that it made me wonder if this was really a church I wanted to be a part of. If other people are hurt or struggling or ill do I want to be associated with a church that is viewed as cold and callous? The irony in all of this is that this church (and many religions in general) criticize the government and always advocate for private charity, church help, etc. This argument presumes that the church is willing or able to help. It was very disappointing to me, after hearing all my life, how Christians are supposed to help others, care about others, treat others as we would treat Christ, etc, that the church put none of this into practice. It will be hard for me to sit through another sermon hearing about how we as Christians are supposed to behave and treat others when I have witnessed and experienced the hypocrisy first hand.

This is not an indictment of all Christians, of all churches, of all religions, or even of all people in the church I am referring to. My husband and i had attended a few services at another church a few weeks leading up to the start of our "year from hell" and when I opened my email I had offers from people to bring meals, offers from people to help watch my other kids while I was running all over town to doctor's appointments, offers for people to do my grocery shopping, etc. These offers came from women I had met briefly and in some instances never met. These are the types of people that epitomize my perception of Christians. These are women with a servant's heart looking to treat others as they would treat Christ.

I have been a member of my "brand" of Christianity all my life. Considering leaving is not something I take lightly. There have been incidents throughout the years that keep bringing me back to a place where I really feel I need to make the move and start over. This may have been the final straw that serves as the catalyst for that move.

I am interested to hear your thoughts. Have you left a church or religion altogether? If you are not religious how does my experience match up with your impression of Christians? If you are a Christian how would you handle this situation?

Hall of Fame Induction Speech

2011-09-22T22:43:00.000-07:00

My high school basketball coach is being inducted into the Hall of Fame here in town. A few months ago he asked if I would give his induction speech. I was and am very honored and of course agreed to do it. The ceremony is tomorrow night and I am a bundle of nerves. Despite being a decent public speaker it gives me intense anxiety. I'm sick for days about it.

He was a wonderful coach and is a terrific man and was truly the ideal high school coach. We had unprecedented success and to this day some of my former teammates remain my closest friends. I look back fondly on those years and my basketball experience is the primary reason for that.

So, while I am incredibly nervous about sweating profusely, stumbling over my words, or blushing with embarrassment (pale, white people have a tendency to do that) I am also thankful for the opportunity to publicly acknowledge the impact he had in all of our lives.

Foot Loose and Tonsil Free

2011-09-15T22:17:00.000-07:00

Our 4 year old son has his tonsils out yesterday and it has been a rough 38 hours since. The procedure itself went fine, but he came out of anesthesia fighting mad. They rushed out to the waiting room to get me (I would have preferred they came and got me first and then woke him up, which likely would have prevented the events that followed from occurring).

Anyway, when I walked back there he was swinging at the nurse, SCREAMING at her, completely incoherent. He was wild-eyed, scared, and in pain. It broke my heart. I ran to him, scooped him up, and laid down in the bed with him. He went right to sleep.

Then they woke him up to try to get him to drink or eat a popsicle, both of which he refused. He then also tried to rip his IV's out. The nurses finally gave up and removed them for him.

He vomited on the ride home, all over himself, the car, and the Albertson's parking lot.

Poor kid.

Thankfully he slept on and off for most of the day. He woke up rather frequently to vomit. After the 8th time in as many hours I called the office, where I got a medical-assistant who informed me that it is "normal" to vomit every hour for up to 48 hours. Whaaaat???? I'm not a doctor, but if the number one concern after surgery is dehydration then it seems to me that throwing up 48 time sin 48 hours would be a bit of a problem.

Last night was pretty miserable. I got a total 1 hour of sleep because his fever rose up to 103, he continued to vomit throughout the night, and he was pretty much just miserable. At 3 am we came downstairs and watched cartoons until 9 when he finally fell asleep for an hour.

The on-call surgeon I called at 7 this morning told me he wouldn't call in an anti-nausea medication, but I should instead take him to the emergency room, where they could both hydrate and medicate him. I wanted to be able to control the vomiting at home in the hopes that he would then start to be able to keep down what he attempted to drink. Long story short, the nurse from the surgery center ended up relaying my frustration to our actual doctor who finally at 2:30 called in a prescription for anti-nausea meds which I promptly gave him He then slept for the next 4 hours. Since he's been given two doses he has not vomited once and has even been able to take three bites of an icee.

He is not consuming anywhere near the amount of liquids he needs too and if his fever doesn't stay under control we will likely end up in the hospital anyway, but I am working my ass off trying to avoid that.

I just really hope having these tonsils out makes a difference for him. I asked the surgeon to save the tonsils so I could see them. They were pretty bad. Huge, cryptic, pockets of bacteria. It made me feel better about subjecting him to such misery.

All in all, having your tonsils and adenoids removed is quite the ordeal.

My son is loud, rowdy, and rambunctious. I am constantly telling him to quiet down or calm down. Right now I would kill for that loud, rowdy, rambunctious boy to be running through our house. This listless, miserable, upset child breaks my heart.

Addison Rerecich, The Pink Ninja, Gets a Second Chance at Life

2011-09-09T09:38:00.000-07:00

A young girl, 11 years old, who is a member of the church I grew up in became very ill last May. She ended up in the ICU where she still remains. This was written by her mother on a Facebook page that people around the world have been following, "Addison Rerecich was a normal, healthy 11 year old girl, until late last May, when she was suddenly stricken with a dangerous bacterial infection in her bloodstream. Although she has survived the initial infection, her lungs were horribly damaged, and she has been in the Intensive Care unit at UMC's Diamond Children's Center for more than 3 months, fighting for her life. She now is waiting for a lung transplant, her only hope for recovery."

She has been dubbed The Pink Ninja because by all medical accounts she should have died months ago. The fact that she is still hanging on is nothing short of a miracle. I have spent a lot of time checking the Facebook page for updates, hoping and praying, that this little girl is given the life saving transplant she needs, while acknowledging for that to happen someone else has to say goodbye to a loved one and make the difficult decision of whether or not to donate.

Yesterday, Addison underwent a double lung transplant that will ultimately give her a second chance at life. It won't be the same life this once healthy, athletic girl had, but it will be a new life nonetheless. It was indescribable the relief I felt when I read that she was in the operating room. I was also incredibly sad that for this to happen some other family had to grieve the loss of a loved one. It also made me incredibly grateful to that family that in a moment of such sorrow they were able to make such a selfless, life-giving decision. Her family has been very cognizant of this fact through the entire process.

Today, I am just incredibly thankful that this child who has fought for months, is breathing air through lungs that aren't riddled with bacteria and punctured with holes and that were rendered useless. She has been kept alive by machines. Without those the doctors said she would have died within seconds to minutes, not hours, not days. While she is still on a ventilator her lungs are able to finally take in and expel equal amounts.

Today is a good day. Today is the first day of a new life for an 11 year old girl and her family.

Tonsils are Coming Out

2011-08-30T19:54:00.001-07:00

Our 4 year old son has had a host of health problems since about 8 months of age. He is sick all the time. Our doctor finally referred us to an ENT after realizing his tonsils are always swollen and red, even when healthy. Bottom line is he needs them out.

This makes me really nervous. I know statistically it is a really safe surgery but it still freaks me out. I don't like the idea of him undergoing anesthesia. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but probably just because there is the smallest chance that something could go wrong. If anything happened to any of my kids I really don't think I could go on.

I left the appointment knowing that the surgery is necessary and the rational part of me thinks that if diseased tonsils could possibly be the cause of all of his illnesses then it is totally worth it to remove them. If this will give him the chance of being healthier then I owe it to him to allow the surgery. But as his mother, it still worries me immensely.

I talked it over with my husband who pretty much thinks the surgery is a no-brainer. He didn't even hesitate. He told me to call the scheduler first thing in the morning and get it done.

What say you? Have you had your tonsils out? Have your kids had theirs out? Did it make a difference? Any horror stories I should be aware of?

August Randomness

2011-08-22T18:05:00.000-07:00

Our first grade daughter is beginning her third week of school. So far, so good. She loves it and her teacher is terrific. I feel very blessed to have had such great experiences with her teachers in both Kindergarten and now first grade. One bad teacher can make for a miserable year.

____________________

Our 11 month old started walking a couple of weeks ago. It is adorable and amazing how quickly it happened. Our other kids took a while longer and toddled a bit. She just decided one day to start walking and that was it. It may have had something to do with the fact that our 4 year old son slammed her hand in the door, practically ripping off one of her fingers. She was unable to crawl, so she just stood up and took off. I guess that is one positive after the trip to the ER.

___________________

This same 11 month old may send me to an early grave. She cries the majority of the day. It's unreal. She as the most calm baby in the entire world until about 3 months ago. It's insane. I think part of it is frustration in that she wants to do what her older siblings do, but she just isn't physically able. Some of it is communication. I was convinced there was something terribly wrong and took her to the doctor. I figured a child who cries this much has to be in pain somewhere. We left with the official diagnosis of "general fussiness." The doctor said, "She is perfectly healthy. It looks like you are just going to have to wait it out." So, I've started drinking.....kidding, I kid!

__________________

Our 4 year old son is insistent that he start Kindergarten next year (we had been considering holding him back). I started my pre-school curriculum with him and academically I don't think there is anyway I can hold him back. He'd be bored to tears. We'll see though. It breaks my heart having to think about sending him off to school.

__________________

This year has been to date, the most difficult year of our lives. Many changes, disappointments, illnesses, and unknowns. Things finally, slowly seem to be stabilizing. However, there will be lots of changes and adjustments occurring in the coming months. I'd appreciate prayers, good thoughts, etc. We could use them!

Thanks for reading.

A Note to My Daughter's School

2011-08-07T22:57:00.000-07:00

Dear School Personnel,

Please take care of my baby this year. Be kind, compassionate, challenging, and fair. Foster her love of learning and her love of school in general. Encourage her inquisitiveness. Protect her, care for her, demand her best and be a good example. Most of all, treat her as if she were your own.

Love,

Her Mother

Kindergarten Redshirt Year

2011-07-29T20:50:00.001-07:00

All of my kids have summer birthdays and in Arizona meet the age cutoff (must be 5 by Sept 1 or else they have to wait until the following year to start) to start school right after they turn 5. However, by doing that they are young for their grade. Our daughter who has a July birthday started school in August after just having turned 5. She went to school with kids who were already 6 and kids who would turn 6 a few months in. She was the second youngest in the class with a little boy turning 6 a few days after she did. I didn't worry about sending her because she was more than ready both academically and socially. She thrived in school and had a wonderful year. I expect her 1st grade experience to be more of the same.

Our son just turned 4 at the very end of May. He is slated to start Kindergarten in August 2012, so next school year. I have recently been having discussions with my husband about "redshirting" him and waiting to start him until August 2013 instead, so he would start school having just turned 6. My reasons for doing this are many but primarily while I have no doubt he is likely ready academically I do worry about him socially in the sense that I feel schools are set up for how girls learn. They are not necessarily conducive to what is best for young boys. I don't know that he could sit still for 20 minutes and listen or work on an activity and I don't know if in a year from now, when he is able to start, he'll be ready then either. He's a well-behaved but highly active boy and I don't want him "beaten into submission" at school if giving him an extra year can harness and tame some of that energy naturally. There is a ton of research to back up that boys who wait a year and start a bit older tend to do better in school long-term. There is also the whole NFL Hockey thing where statistically NFL Hockey players tended to be older for their grade in elementary school. The theory goes that they are more physically developed than some of their peers, thereby becoming the better players in high school and college. There are also cons which we are well versed in too.

I've started mentioning my dilemma to a few friends only to find out that many of them are struggling with the same decision and for many of the same reasons I have mentioned. I go back and forth but I keep coming back to the fact that I have never once heard a parent say, "I wish I wouldn't have held my son back that year." However, I have heard many, my mother included, say, "I wish I would have held my son back and given him an extra year to mature a bit."

I am curious if you have any experience with this? Did you hold your son back? Do you wish you did? Were you intentionally held back?

Part II in the Age Appropriateness Saga

2011-06-17T08:46:00.000-07:00

The more I thought about the whole issue, the more bothered I became. I was certainly bothered by the video shown but I was more bothered by the Pastor's response. Prior to this experience I had really liked him, thought well of him, and would likely have never questioned his judgment. However, this decision and more specificially his continual defense of his decision has made me realize that there are deep pedagogical and practiccal differences in what he views as appropriate for children and what my husband and I view as appropriate. My husband and I, as I am sure most parents, make judgments all the time about what we feel is appropriate to expose our kids to. Sometimes we have been wrong and we acknowledge that and we know to do things differently next time. I don't feel that this was the case here. While he ultimately removed the Kindergarteners (and my daughter who is going into first) from further viewing of the movie in subsequent days he continued to defend its appropriateness for grades 1 and above. I feel like at home we work hard to protect the innocense of our children. Even sending her to a public school, where the fear among evangelical conservatives is that their children will be exposed to inappropriate content, be it sexual, violence, etc, she wasn't exposed to anything close to this. It is very bothersome to me that the place she was unapologetically exposed was at a church. (The irony is that my particular brand of religion, at least the one I was raised in, is pretty critical of public education and the influence of people affiliated with it. The irony is not lost on me that the place where my child was first exposed to grpahic violence was not at the public school but at a church. If my daughter's Kindergarten teacher would have shown a video with a similar graphic nature she would be out of a job. But that's another topic).

We were made aware that there were other parents who also were bothered by this showing and expressed concern as well. It was suggested by multiple people that maybe that time could be better spent doing something other than watching the video. This suggestion was rebuffed. My husband emailed the Pastor that evening after viewing the video himself and wanted to make sure our daughter would be revmoved from the viewing the following day. He also called into question the educational value of such a long clip (25-30 minutes) for that young of an age group.

A flurry of email exchanges took place. The Pastor's initial email response was pretty strongly worded and pretty defensive, which only served to escalate the situation a bit.. He continued to defend his choice, standing firm in his insistence that it has educational value. In fact he believes "the movie in general does a fantastic job of reinforcing the lesson...it tied in completely." He went on to say, "We thought so highly of the tone of the movie that it was worth the time to take to view." (To be entirely fair he did apologize for the "difficulty it has caused you and your family." However, there was no apology for the actual showing, just our perception of it being inappropriate).

My husband's concern at this point, with the Pastor's continual defense, was that:

As a parent who entrusts my children to the Pastors who are charged with protecting, teaching, and nurturing them it concerns me you find this appropriate and continue to defend its use.
I think it best that this discussion simply end. Much of this exchange could have been avoided had your response been different when my wife first brought the concern to you or even your initial response to my email. A simple, "I am sorry you were offended. Maybe we shouldn't have shown this. We won't do it again." would have shown a more genuine attempt on your part to understand and address our concern. Both my wife and I feel you have been more concerned about defending your decision than legitimately addressing our concern or showing any amount of empathy.

My husband and I were then a bit conflicted. We both would have liked to not send her back but we also didn't want her to know there was a conflict. So, we did send her on Thursday and she did not view the video. They put the Kindergarteners (and my daughter) in with the 3-4 year olds. When my husband went to pick her up yesterday grades 1-6 were watching another segment from the film. Those aren't my children so it wasn't really my business anymore, but because of this experience I would likely not allow my children to attend another function at this church. Or if I were to reconsider I would definitely want to view any curriculum or instructional aides ahead of time. If I can't trust the Pastor's judgment about what is age appropriate then I feel like I am playing a game of Russian Roulette each time I send my kids off there. It's a shame all the way around.

I don't want to bash religion or Christians. I am a Christian. We raise our children in the church. However, it is difficult for me when Christians behave in ways that are so antithesis to what the Bible instructs. Why would anyone who is not a Christian ever want to be one when things like this happen? VBS is used as a community outreach. The goal of every church who puts on a VBS is to not only provide Christian instruction for its members but also to maybe get unchurched visitors who would consider joining. While I am not a member of this particular church, I am at this church's sister church. What if I were just a random member of the community and this was my exchange with a Pastor? I would never go back. If that was my only exposure to Christianity and Christians I certainly wouldn't want to be one. Right or wrong, people are judge on behavior and in this instance I feel there were multiple opportunities for this Pastor to back off his stance that this video was age appropriate. But he didn't. He continued to defend it and continued to show it despite having concerns brought to him by multiple parents. To me that just seems like someone trying to dig in his heels and not someone who is interested in truly trying to understand where anyone else was coming from.

Bottom line is the issue is over. It happened. I now know that this is how this particular Pastor responds to issues of concerns brought by parents and knowing that I will make decisions regarding my children accordingly.

An Issue of Age-Appropriateness

2011-06-15T21:08:00.000-07:00

So, I want to share with you an experience I had today and get some feedback on both my reaction and the response I received. My almost 6 year old daughter attended Vacation Bible School today at a church affiliated with our usual church. At the end of the day they were watching a video about the story of Joseph and Potiphar's Wife. A quick recap for those who are unfamiliar: Joseph is sold by his brothers to Potiphar. Potiphar's wife seduces Joseph and then lies to Potiphar, telling him the reverse and making up other lies about Joseph's behavior. The portion of the movie I walked in on was when Joseph was being whipped for his supposed transgressions. I included the video below (please fast forward to the 2 minute mark and watch until the 2:32 mark). This was shown to the class today, including kids as young as 5.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-SWodAV0sY&feature=related

I was bothered. I felt it was a little intense for that age group. It further bothered me when the entire first row of little kids gasped and put their hands over their eyes (my daughter included). We are very careful about what we let our kids watch. Their exposure to television is very limited and we certainly don't let them watch shows with graphic, violent content.

At the end I approached the Pastor, who in general I feel is a very nice man. However, his response today was very disappointing. In a very non-confrontational way I told him that I was a bit concerned about the graphic nature of the video as that is not something I would choose to show my children. His initial response was that because it happened that way in the Bible he does not believe we should alter, modify, water down, change, etc. the specifics. I pointed out that, while I agree that the stories shouldn't be changed, I didn't think it was then necessary to show the visual reenactment of something that could possibly be upsetting to young children. I stated that while my children knew the details of Jesus' crucifixion I wouldn't go home and show them Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ until they were older and it was more age appropriate. He disagreed. My response was that when I was teaching in a public HIGH SCHOOL I would not have been allowed to show that clip (and not because of the religious nature, but because of the graphic content). I further pointed out that any clip I did want to show had to be approved by the principal first and then I had to send out permission slips that gave parents the opportunity to opt their child out. I explained that I felt like we should have been given some notice that this type of video was going to be shown.

His “solution” was that tomorrow I could put my 1^st grader in with the 3-4 year olds because they watch a cartoon version. I just wanted him to understand that while some kids are exposed to that or aren't bothered by that, I KNEW that this was something that was going to bother my daughter. He dismissed that concern. There was more, but essentially he disagreed, which is fine, but also completely dismissed and invalidated my concerns about the content and the fact that he made a decision about what he felt was appropriate for my child to view without giving me the opportunity to have any input. Further there were some very patronizing “solutions” offered.

My daughter, who had no knowledge of my conversation with the pastor, came and found me and the first thing she told me was about this “terrible movie where this bad man whipped Joseph and his blood went all over.” She was very bothered and has talked about it ALL day. Further, she drew a picture for my grandmother depicting a man getting beat. She explained, “This is Joseph. He's getting whipped and this red part is his blood going all over.” Not really something I am happy about.

While the showing of the video bothers me, the Pastor's response bothers me even more. He could have said, “You know, I made a judgment call. I felt it was appropriate. I'm sorry if it offended you. Next time I will ask.” End of story. Instead he made excuse after excuse and pretty much tried to make me feel like it was ridiculous that I would be concerned about the content.

So, I am curious about your take on this? Mainly, is this content that would bother you if your child viewed it and what is your take on the Pastor's response to my concern?

Catch Up

2011-05-24T23:21:00.001-07:00

Things have been nuts here. My 5 year old daughter had strep throat, then our 8 month old daughter became very ill and ended up in the hospital. Turns out she had a bacteria infection in her blood. No one knows how she got it. She is fine now, thank God. Then I injured my back pretty badly and ended up in Urgent Care after trying to suffer through the pain for days, where they gave me an injection of a powerful anti-inflammatory that I had a VERY adverse reaction to. They also send me home with a million prescriptions for a ton of meds that knocked me out entirely. I'm still pretty much out of commission but am finally able to actually walk a bit. So, it's been all bunnies and rainbows here in our neck of the woods.

In better news my husband and I will have a first grader in 2 days. Typing that seems so weird. I was so worried about sending her off to Kindergarten. I fretted for a year in advance. Turns out it was all for nothing. Her teacher is wonderful and watching our daughter come into her own was a beautiful thing to witness. She is sad about leaving her beloved teacher but also excited to be a first grader. Definitely bittersweet.

Our son will turn 4 next week. How that is even possible is beyond me. He will always be my baby. I love seeing the boy he is becoming. So sweet, kind, and sensitive and fiercely protective of his baby sister. Since those two are home with me during the day they have become very close and it makes me so happy to see how much our baby adores her big brother and how much he cares for her. It's a beautiful thing.

So, what has been consuming your days as of late?

Happy Easter

2011-04-24T16:19:00.000-07:00

We did Easter a little bit differently this year since my parents have their time split between Arizona and DC. So, Saturday we went over to my parents' Tucson home along with one of my brothers and my sister and her family. The kids got baskets, hunted for eggs, and my dad grilled out. It was low-key and the kids had a great time with their cousins.

Easter Sunday we went to church and then I made a big Easter lunch for my family, my mother, and my brother. Salad, mashed potatoes, gravy, pot roast. I also made some delicious bread that no one got to eat because I forgot about it under the broiler and it caught fire. :( The rest of the day was spent lazily. Playing with the kids, watching movies, dozing on and off.

Easter morning: Our youngest celebrated her first Easter today. She loved her big sister's pillow pet.
Yes, I finally caved on the pillow pets. My daughter has been asking for one for close to a year now. And I will be the first to admit that they are super comfortable. But seriously my kids have more stuffed animals that any any other child I know. Pillow pets are the last thing they need, but they love them!

Here is our almost 4 year old with his monkey pillow pet.
And here is our 5 year old with her unicorn pillow pet.
Two of my three favorite people. My girls wore matching dresses to church and while I am sooo biased I thought they looked adorable and my son just makes me want ten more little boys.
Hope you all had a wonderful Easter.

My Daughter the Drama Queen

2011-04-10T20:56:00.000-07:00

The high school I used to teach at has a terrific fine arts program. The kids involved with choir, orchestra, choraliers, drama, etc. are amazing. If these performances weren't set in a high school auditorium you would have little clue that you were watching high school KIDS perform. This weekend they performed Disney's Beauty and the Beast so I decided to take my two older kids. My daughter, who is a lover of all things Princess related, was beyond excited at the prospect and my son, who likes "The Beast" was eager to see him in person.

The performance was incredible so I was glad I had the opportunity to see it. However, even better was witnessing the utter joy and amazement on my daughter's face. When the orchestra began playing the opening notes to the play, which are the same from the Disney movie, she looked over at me in awe. She was on the edge of her seat the entire performance. The kid who played Gaston was a stud, but he was despised by my children...due to the character he played, not due to his performance. He was a bit too real for my kids. He did a terrific job and at the end when each character came out to receive his/her applause my daughter refused to clap for him because she said he was mean and tried to hurt the Beast. The girl who played Belle also did a great job. She was very pretty and had a great stage presence and my daughter instantly fell in love with her.

One of the best parts was at the end all the performers lined up in the lobby to meet the audience. My daughter was enthralled with Belle and wanted her photo taken. My daughter wore her Belle gown to the play and received quite a bit of attention for her ensemble. When the photographer for the school wanted to take her picture with Gaston for their drama department my daughter refused saying he was too mean. She was more than thrilled, however, to pose with Belle and the Beast.

She spent the rest of that night and all of today talking about all of her favorite parts, the parts that scared her, the similarities and differences between the movie and the play, and all sorts of different impression she came away with. Knowing how well she enjoyed it makes me want to take her to the theatre be it high school or otherwise. After hearing about how much my daughter enjoyed it my father decided to take her and a couple of her cousins to a Broadway production of Les Miserables in June. She is stoked!

So, all in all we had a pretty good weekend. How was yours?

It Takes a Village.....Part Deux

2011-04-02T09:34:00.000-07:00

After this experience my husband and I talked at length about our main points of contention, which were primarily the time, place, and tone of the conversation and that is what we wanted conveyed to the principal. She was very responsive. She, of course, tried (albeit not very hard) to defend the secretary, but also acknowledged that the time and place were not appropriate and the tone was questionable as well. As far as the medical records go she said the only time the school generally requests documentation is when there is a long term absence (she defined long term as 30 to 40 absences which we are NO WHERE close to) due to a medical reason OR if multiple absences are affecting student performance. She acknowledged neither was the case in our situation so she seemed a bit dumbfounded as to why we were asked for this type of documentation.

The "funny" thing about educators is they (we) are always trying to explain how our system works to people outside of the education system. I understand why they (we) do that; it's because there are a lot more complexities to the inner workings, funding, budgets than people realize or politicians want to admit and acknowledge. However, I always find it funny when educators try to explain these inner workings to other educators, as is the case with me and my husband....not that she necessarily knew that.

Not truly pertinent to the story but a little funny was when she started to explain the role of the attendance clerk (which the receptionist doubles as...essentially pulling calls off the attendance hotline and recording the absences in the computer). My husband stopped her (politely) and just said, "My wife and I have both worked in many school districts as teachers so we are well aware the role of the attendance clerk. However, at no school we have ever been employed has the attendance clerk confronted a parent in the front office in front of other parents. Are you saying that here in (School District name redacted) School District the role of the attendance clerk is to confront parents publicly?" The principal reluctantly acknowledged that no, that was not the appropriate way to handle it.

She also began to explain the budgetary importance of attendance. Schools receive money based on how many students attend on any given day. When students are absent the school loses money. So, she began explaining that. My husband's counter to that was that in the state of Arizona school attendance isn't mandatory until a child is six years old. Our daughter is five. She is not required to be in school at all. Further, Kindergarten isn't mandatory in the state of Arizona. Again, she is not required to attend any school, so any money they receive from her attendance is gravy and should be viewed as such (according to my husband in his point to her). The principal had to reluctantly acknowledge this as fact as well.

Overall, we made sure to state that as a whole we were very pleased with the school. We wanted her to know we were happy with our daughter's teacher, the school culture and "feel", and that our daughter loved coming to school as well. So, while there were a couple of "moments" of differing opinions, she did understand where we were coming from and was responsive to those concerns. And having worked in schools and seen different principals interact with parents, this isn't always a given. There are principals who have very contentious relationships with parents and who don't validate or address their concerns. That really only breeds resentment and distrust. I can honestly say that despite little things here and there that irk me, the principal has always been responsive and does promptly address parental concerns while simultaneously defending her employees (as much as she reasonably can). Having been on both sides of that I know it is a balancing act. However, having worked for a principal who routinely threw teachers under the bus, myself included, in disputes with parents it was refreshing to see that while she understood our point, she also tried to make us understand the receptionists point as well, even though in the end we still didn't agree with it at all.

It May Take a Village, But Sometimes the Villagers Need to Mind Their Own Business

2011-03-31T21:12:00.000-07:00

My older daughter, who is in Kindergarten, is a pretty healthy kid. Or at least was until she started school. She has been sick more times this school year than in her previous five years of life combined. In fact our pediatrician even made a comment to the effect of "I've seen her more this year than I have ever before." I know much of that comes with the territory of starting school and having a wider range of exposure, coupled with kids who are visibly sick who are sent to school when they clearly should be kept home. As a result waves of illness have rippled through our house almost all year long. So, our daughter has had some absences, not more than the 10 percent of total school days allowed by state law but we are cutting it close.

Today my daughter had a half day. I scheduled a dentist appointment pretty close to dismissal time so I went in to grab our daughter 10 minutes early (the Kindergarten students line up at 10 till anyway). As I was waiting for her to come up to the office, the school receptionist, and her position is important to my story, the RECEPTIONIST, not the principal, teacher, or even principal's secretary, but the RECEPTIONIST says, "Your daughter has had a lot of absences." She says this in the front office, where other parents are also waiting and listening. The following is an almost verbatim exchange (I began recording the conversation after the initial sentence because I was so angry).

Me: "Yes, she has unfortunately been sick a lot this year."

Her: "Yes, but she's had a lot. Most of them sick and some personal" (For the record, she missed three days when she stayed with m parents when I gave birth to our third child and the others were illness related, all of which I have documentation to support if I felt it necessary to provide).

Me: "Well, she has been sick more this year than she has been in her previous five years combined. I don't know what I can really do about that."

Her: "You're not concerned about her absences?"

Me: "No, she is doing fine in class and her teacher is not concerned about her progress so I am not concerned."

Her: "So you don't think attendance is important?"

Me: "I didn't say that. What I said was I am not concerned with her progress as her absences are not negatively impacting her performance."

Her: "You never took her to the doctor any of those times?"

Me: "Yes, I took her to the doctor for most of them. She was in the hospital at one point."

Her: "Well, can you bring in documentation to support that? You know to prove that they were medical absences?"

Me: "I don't feel that I am obligated to provide you with my daughter's medical records to support or justify parental decisions that my husband and I made in regards to the care of our daughter."

Her: "Well, if you had them they would support the absences."

Me: "Well, in the state of Arizona Kindergarten isn't even mandatory so I see no reason to provide medical documentation to excuse absences from something that isn't even mandated."

Her: "But don't you think that her attendance at school is important?"

Me: "Yes, but it is what it is. She has been sick. We appear to be one of the few families who actually keeps our sick kids home. I resent sending my kid to school and having her constantly ill, then spreading that through the rest of my family, because students who are clearly ill are not only sent to school by their parents but then allowed to stay here by the staff who can clearly see they are ill. I further resent being publicly questioned about the legitimacy of my daughter's absences. She is doing well in school and that is the bottom line. If her teacher isn't concerned I find it suspect that you are."

Her: "Well, it's just my job to let you know."

At that point my daughter had arrived and we left. I have multiple points of contention with this interaction. First, we just got my daughter's 3rd quarter report card yesterday. She received the highest marks possible in EVERY SINGLE category. She is clearly doing fine academically and socially. Additionally there is a spot on the report card that says, "Do absences or tardies affect performance?" Her teacher answered, "No." Secondly, the school has half days today and Friday for parent conferences. We received a note last week from her teacher stating that our daughter is doing well and the teacher has no concerned and thus doesn't deem a conference to be necessary, but we could request one if we had concerns. We declined. Along those lines I volunteer in my daughter's class once a week. I am present and involved and the receptionist knows this. Generally speaking, the kids who miss for less than legitimate reasons usually don't have parents actively involved at the school. It is also worth mentioning that her teacher has never once mentioned any concerns about our daughter and she and I have a great relationship. If she had concerns she would have absolutely mentioned it.

I am further bothered by the fact that the receptionist broached this topic with me at all, but additionally chose to do it publicly where the other parents in the office were privy to personal health information about my daughter as well as the contentious discussion between myself and the receptionist. I also have serious doubts about whether her job description entails confronting parents at the front desk about their children's attendance. The thing that she doesn't know is that my husband and I are both educators. We absolutely understand the importance of attendance and how vital that is to educational success. However, I don't know what the options are when our daughter was sick as often as she was (and I'm not talking colds; I'm talking Influenza A, Norwalk virus, Sinusitis, Bronchitis, and other viruses that caused very high fevers). Further, I don't understand why one would choose to make a point about it when she knows nothing about our child's academic progress. It would be one thing if her academics were suffering as a result, but they aren't and she doesn't know that because she isn't privy to that information which further calls into question why she is having this conversation with me. No other staff member has ever expressed any concerns about her absences. This includes the teacher and the principal and it includes the receptionist. If it really were her job then why did she wait until a chance encounter in the front office to broach the subject with me? If it really were her job why hasn't she called me before? She had no idea I was coming into the office today. She obviously looked at my daughter's absences in the computer when I signed her out and chose to make a point of it.

I just don't think that in any scenario it is the job of the receptionist to confront a parent about the cause of absences, especially in the presence of other parents. I find it to be beyond inappropriate and unprofessional to further question the medical necessity of such absences.

When I got home I pulled all the documentation from her doctor supporting each absence. I don't feel like I am under any obligation to provide this to the school and at this point because I am so angry I feel like I want to refuse simply out of principle. However, the other part of me wants to take them in and smack them down on the desk in front of her face and yell, "How do ya like them apples?"

I called my husband and told him the exchange and asked what he thought. He was just as upset and called the Principal immediately who agreed to meet with him tomorrow. I don't want to make a huge deal but I do want the principal to know that the receptionist crossed a line. My husband and I overall have been really pleased with our experience at this school. Our daughter's teacher is great, the principal is visible and consistently responsive, and our daughter LOVES school. Which irks me all the more that someone who is not even directly involved with my child's education is the cause of this sour feeling.

So, I'm interested in your opinion. Are we overreacting? How would you have responded if you were confronted in such a manner?

A Hodge-Podge of Thoughts

2011-03-24T15:06:00.001-07:00

This week is Spring Break for my daughter. Months ago we had grand plans to take the kids to Disneyland this week, but due to some other circumstances that didn't happen. So, we've tried to do some fun things around town each day. We've gone to the park, an outdoor mall, we saw Rango, and the kids have been able to spend some time with both my mom and grandma. It's really nice to have her home.

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This was the week we got to reintroduce milk to our son's diet to see how he responded. It did not go well at all. The horrible skin condition on his mouth flared up after just one exposure, he broke out in a rash, and his nose started running. We gave him a couple more small doses of food containing cow's milk just to be sure, but by the second day he looked terrible so we stopped. We are giving him a couple days to recover but then we are supposed to reintroduce him to peanuts and then soy to gauge the reactions. I'm pretty nervous.

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When I was in first grade we lived in Boston. I have terrific memories of living there, going to school, and traveling. A man my dad attended Tufts with lived in New Hampshire with his family and so much of our time there was spent with them. We have photo albums that contain picture after picture of our families at each others homes, at get-togethers, etc. I was six when we left there and their oldest daughter was three. Through the power of Facebook I have come back into contact with her. Facebook bugs me for a variety of reasons, but it's not all bad. After all, it is pretty cool to reconnect with a playmate I had 27 years ago.

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My Recent Days in Pictures

2011-03-17T23:03:00.000-07:00

My husband accompanied our 5 year old daughter to her first Father-Daughter Dance at her school. She had a great time and according to my husband was the first one on the dance floor and she apparently danced her tail off the entire time their were there. Judging by some of the video he shot on his phone, she knows how to get down.The weather is warming up and so the kids have been spending quite a bit of time outside. Here they are swinging at my grandmother's house. While the swing is new the spot where the swing hangs is not. I took my first swing there in utero and grew up swinging on my grandma's porch. Glad that my kids get the opportunity to do that too.
Here in Tucson, the last Thursday and Friday in February we celebrate Rodeo Days. Kids get out of school and there is a literal rodeo in town. When I was a little kid my great-grandmother used to make me and my sister "Rodeo Outfits" that looked similar in nature to the outfit our youngest daughter has on below. When our oldest daughter was 7 months old she celebrated her first "Rodeo Days." I found this outfit at Ross and had to buy it because it reminded me of my great-grandmother's handmade outfits. I kept it and now daughter #2 gets to wear it also.
During one particularly festive Spirit Week there was a Hollywood Day. Since we didn't want to sent our Kindergartener off looking like a hooker ala Lyndsey Lohan or Miley Cyrus we decided to do classy, 50's movie star. She got quite into it and had the whole diva pose down.
I love this picture. It makes me happy just looking at it. Our son is an amazing big brother. He adores his baby sister and is great with her. He's a wonderful kid in general, but seeing him with his sister is amazing. He will make a fantastic father one day.
This picture cracks me up. She was previously sitting on my lap and smiling. When I handed her off she immediately began to scream and kept screaming. We have a sequence of about five photos in which she is in various stages of hysterics, all the while my husband and other daughter are smiling away.
Happy St. Patrick's Day from our house to yours!

Testing for Food Allergies

2011-02-24T14:17:00.000-08:00

My poor son's lips started looking like this shortly after he turned one. They started out as just little cracks on one corner of his mouth and shortly thereafter it spread along half of his bottom lip. A few months later it affected his entire bottom lip. Shortly after that it spread to half of his upper lip. We took him to the doctor who thought it was because he licked his lips. We saw multiple dermatologists who said the same thing. They gave us creams, ointments, pills, chapsticks, antibiotics, steroids, anti-fungals, anti-bacterials, prescriptions, over the counters. Everything. Nothing helped and they only seemed to get worse.

After battling it for a year and a half and seeing countless doctors who basically said they had no clue, he was put on a dose of prednisone for asthma difficulties. A few weeks later it cleared up and remained clear for 8 months.

Then in August of 2010 it started coming back. A few weeks later he became very ill with mono and I wondered if the two were related. We went back to the doctor, were assured that it was unlikely they were related and got referred to four different dermatologists who each proved to be less helpful than the last. Our son has battled asthma and seasonal allergy issues for years and as a result also has super sensitive skin. So, I started doing my own research and suspected it may be eczema, triggered by some type of allergy, be it something he comes into contact with regularly or food. So I started making my own laundry detergent, removed the likely environmental culprits, changed his toothpaste.

Around the same time a friend contacted her brother in law (a doctor in another state) on my behalf who took a look at his medical history and the pictures of his lips. He kindly called me and offered some helpful suggestions, one of them being changing his toothpaste, which we had already done, and told us to avoid a few other things he was likely to come into contact with. He mentioned that if none of that helped then it could be a food allergy. When I mentioned this to the four dermatologists here they were quick to dismiss this as a possibility. They assured me this wouldn't be likely all the while I had this nagging feeling that it was related to food. The last dermatologist we saw I asked if he would allergy test him for the most common allergens and he said he did not feel it was necessary. I insisted; he declined.

Occurring concurrently with this was increased sensitivity to so many things he was coming into contact with. The underwear band was causing horrible rashes and hives around his waste. We spent weeks trying to track down underwear that didn't have a rubber band exposed (Thank you H and M). He was having horrible reactions every time we went to visit his great-grandmother. She has an inside dog and his face would break out into hives and swell until his eyes were mere slits each time we'd visit. We knew a dog allergy was unlikely since we have an outside dog at home, but suspected environmental allergies that the dog tracked in along with dog dander. Then, we went to the store to try on bicycle helmets. A few of the ones he tried on had rubber pads inside. A few hours later his head had a horrible rash in the pattern of the way the pads were placed on his head. A few hours after that his face was swollen.

I called his doctor who ordered an epi-pen over the phone and who then called in a referral to an Allergy specialist for the next day. Monday he was tested for 20 different allergens. We go back in six weeks for a more expanded panel. The allergist took one look at his lips and is fairly confident it is a result of a food allergy. The results came back showing he was allergic to a host of environmental things as well as Cow's milk, soybean, and tree nuts.

Our plan is that for the next 4 weeks he can have nothing that contains or has been in contact with any of those items. And let me tell you it was SHOCKING how many food items contain those things. It took us 3 hours at some specialized stores to find him alternatives to regularly consumed foods. Soy or soybean oil is seemingly in everything! After those 4 weeks we should see improvement in his mouth, if in fact a food allergy is causing it. At that point we have to start adding the known allergens back to see if we can figure out which group of foods in triggering the reaction.

Truthfully, it was incredibly disappointing to know that he is allergic to so many things, but it was also a great relief to finally have some type of answer. It seems like I had tried everything with no results and was at whits end. To finally have a glimmer of hope that we might be able to heal and then control this is a huge weight off my shoulders.

So far he is doing well. We replaced his milk with Rice Milk, which he likes. I have made my own bread for him to use with sandwiches. I had to also make my own mayonnaise. He eats a lot of fruit for snacks and as parts of meals so that was good. Many of the Boulder and Kettle chips don't contain allergens so that was also a "treat" for him. There's not a good cheese alternative so for now it has just been eliminated from his diet. We've had luck with the Enjoy Life brand in finding him some snacking food and my husband actually found non-dairy, non-soy, non-tree nuts chocolate chips and I made cookies (using canola oil in place of butter) as a treat that were actually delicious. Better than the regular chocolate chip cookies I usually make actually.

It is definitely an adjustment and may prove to be for life, but it is doable and necessary and he has been great about it. I'm definitely hopeful that his lips will improve and we'll be able to identify the trigger and know to avoid it in the future.

Interestingly, many of the creams I had been rubbing on his lips contained soybean oil. So, all this time while I have been trying to help him I could have inadvertently been causing more problems. My heart is crushed with this realization.

It's a Lifestyle

2011-01-29T13:41:00.000-08:00

My kids caught the end of iCarly the other day and apparently there was some exchange of dialogue where one character says, "It's just a stupid game" and the next character says, "It's not a game, it's a lifestyle." Well, our 3 year old son has now applied that phrase to EVERYTHING. Anything he is playing is now "not a game, it's a lifestyle."

He was playing with his superheroes the other day and I asked him what game he was playing with them. He looks at me very seriously and says, "Mom, it's not a game. It's a lifestyle."

Riiiight.

In a Split Second

2011-01-23T22:50:00.000-08:00

Fear can be crippling. The what if game a paralyzer. It can cause normally sane, rational people to become illogical, irrational, and paranoid. In the wake of what has happened here in Tucson I find myself to be fighting against these slivers of fear that seep into my life. There's that feeling of, "It could have been us." Or, "You never know when or where something like that could happen again."

I don't like it.

I'm generally pretty cautious. I think I have a healthy sense of fear without being paralyzed by it or allowing it to influence my daily life. So, I really don't like that something like this has shattered my illusion of safety. I realize the chances of something like this happening aren't great, but I'm sure no one in that parking lot that morning ever envisioned it either. I guess you really just never know. But lately I find myself struggling with that.

I think twice about taking all the kids with me to the store, opting instead to go myself when my husband can stay with them or sending my husband out himself. I realize as the "freshness" of this incident fades a bit so too will my "fear" but I don't like that in the meantime it is turning me into someone that really isn't me, or that I am allowing it affect me in such a way that makes me feel powerless and not in control. The fact that life can change so drastically in literally seconds is probably the part that really causes me to struggle.

Has something ever hit so close to home and affected you in such a way that you felt yourself altering your usual behavior out of fear of the unlikely?

Flu

2011-01-19T21:09:00.000-08:00

We have been a den of sickness 'round these parts since Thanksgiving. It's been one illness after the other, all relatively minor but lasting. Then our older daughter, who is regularly pretty healthy, became really sick a couple of weeks ago. She seemed to get better for a day or two but then got slammed with a really high fever, congestion, sore throat, chills, cough, the whole nine yards! We ended up in Urgent Care today where she tested positive for the flu (Yes, we got a flu shot months ago). So, Tamiflu has been prescribed to the whole family, except that I can't take it because I am breastfeeding and there is nothing safe for our 4 month old so we are just crossing our fingers and praying she gets through this unscathed. It is scary how sick our older daughter has become and how quickly it has happened!

The thing is....I realize people get sick. People can catch germs anywhere: grocery store, library, school, out in public anywhere really. However, I volunteer relatively regularly at my daughter's school and the number of children sent to school sick is high. The school policy is such that a child should stay home if he/she has a fever or any other visible signs of illness outside of minor sniffles. Apparently, I am one of the few parents who actually follows this rule. Each time I have been on that campus and in my daughter's classroom in particular there have been kids with green snot literally dripping out their nose. Last Thursday there was a child sooo sick in her class that when I came home I told my husband that I knew, KNEW, our daughter would be sick within days. (This child sits next to my daughter and was picking his green snot and then reaching into the community supplies that my daughter then used as well). She was sick by Saturday.

My frustration with this is two-fold. First, parents! What the hell are you doing sending your sick kids to school? Second, school officials! Why the hell don't/won't you send them home? I resent the fact that I go to great lengths to make sure I don't send a contagious kid to school and yet I feel like every time I send my healthy child to school I am sending her into a petri dish.

Play dates, Strangers, and other Such Things

2011-01-18T21:17:00.000-08:00

I would consider myself a cautious parent, perhaps a tad overprotective. I obviously want my kids to experience things on their own but I also want to ensure that my children are safe and I am not doing anything that could put them into harm's way. An issue that has come up a lot since our daughter has started school is 'after school play dates.'

Prior to this year "play dates" meant either going over to my sister's house so she could play with her cousins, her cousins coming here or getting together with friends I have known for years. She has made some great friends at school and I have little reason to believe any of their parents would wish any harm to befall my child. However, I don't know them. I know that different parents have different philosophies and what might be allowed in their home might not be allowed in ours and vice versa. Our general rule has been, since quite a few of her school friends live in our particular neighborhood, that they can play outside in front of houses, but not in each other's homes. This has worked out well as the few girls she plays with have parents with similar philosophies.

Lately though I have had repeated offers from one of the girl's family members (not her mother, but another member who watches this little girl after school) to have our daughter come over and play. Truthfully I am not comfortable with this at all. They live close to us, but not in our neighborhood and the little interaction I have had with the mother and her husband was uncomfortable enough to give me pause. This family member asked me a week or so ago if my daughter could come over. I explained to her that our general rule was to not allow play dates unless either myself or my husband went as well. She seemed okay with this, however this would also require that I take my son and other daughter over as well, which I don't want to presume is okay with them and frankly, and this sounds bad, but it's more hassle than it's probably worth.

So, any advice on how to handle this? I don't mind going over a couple of times and truthfully if I had a better feeling about the girl's mother and step-father I would not be as nervous about this but we have very different ideas about what is appropriate, etc.

Favorite Gins

2011-01-17T19:41:00.000-08:00

I'm not really a drinker......anymore. Primarily because the majority of the past six years I have either been pregnant or breastfeeding. However, my drink of preference is a gin and tonic with a twist of lime. Easy, simple, refreshing!

Over the years I have tried quite a few different brands. With Christmas and my birthday falling within a week of the other I decided to ask for a few bottles of gin: some new brands I have not tasted before and a few other tried and true favorites.

So, here are my preferences:

1. Plymouth Gin: Supposedly the drink of choice for Winston Churchill. It's my favorite! Retails for $25.

2. Tanqueray Ten: London Dry; makes a wonderful gin and tonic. Retails for $23.

3. Hendricks: Infused with cucumber. Often said to be the gin to convert vodka drinkers. Delicious. Retails for $27.

4. Citadelle: Described as the Grey Goose of gin. A solid gin. Retails for $23.

5. Hayman's Old Tom: Much sweeter than traditional dry gin. Nice to have something different every once in a while. Retails for around $20.

6. Beefeater Summer Edition I"m not a fan of Beefeater. However, this is pretty good. Supposedly more botanicals were added for a lighter flavor. It makes a good gin and tonic but the actual recommended mixer is cranberry juice. I'm a fan of cranberry and vodka and was a little leery when I thought of mixing gin with cranberry juice. However, it was surprisingly good. Retails for $25.

7. Tanqueray and Tanqueray Rangpur are both pretty decent gins as is Bombay Sapphire. I know many consider Sapphire to be "The Gin" and while I think it is good I think Plymouth and Ten are better.

On my list to try are Magellan which is a naturally blue gin, Quintessential, G'Vine, Junipero, Bull Dog, Right, and Martin Miller.

So, what is your drink of choice? For those of you who drink gin what do you think of my assessments? Have you tried any of those on my "desired" list?

** All prices are based on current prices at Total Wine.

MLK, Jr. Goes to South Park

2011-01-15T21:13:00.000-08:00

Our daughter, who is in Kindergarten, came home from School on Friday with this picture. She made it in class and was incredibly proud as she explained, "Martin Luther King Jr. is a Jr. because his dad was named Martin Luther King. He's important because he said that people look different on the outside but we're all the same on the inside. And he had a wish (I think she meant a dream). So, I made this picture. He's really considered black but he looks kinda brownish so I used brown paper. Plus if I used black, his suit is black too, and you wouldn't be able to really see him."

My husband says it looks like a South Park character. Since he has said that neither one of us can stop laughing (only when aforementioned daughter is well out of ear shot).

So what do you think? South Park?

Giffords Shooting In Tucson

2011-01-10T20:13:00.001-08:00

I am sad. So sad. I live in Tucson. I live just a few miles away from where the horrific shooting of Congresswoman Giffords, members of her staff, and my fellow citizens occurred. We frequent other establishments in that parking lot weekly. People use words like "safe" and "upscale" which just goes to show you that these things can happen anywhere, safe and upscale or not. Like most in the nation right now, we cannot wrap our brains around the senselessness of this tragedy.

This morning I took my daughter to the dentist and then out for a milk shake. As we were pulling out of the parking lot I was overcome with unbelievable sadness. Sadness that literally made my heart ache. I thought that there is a mother in this city right now that will never again get to do something as mundane as taking her daughter to the dentist and out for milk shakes. That's the thing about parenting. It is those little things that we take for granted that I imagine those who have lost children miss the most. Tucking them into bed, making them breakfast, cuddling with them while watching a movie. Things that we never imagine will be our last time doing with/for our children. Heartbreaking is the only word that comes to mind, although I feel that word grossly understates the tragedy of it all. How someone loses a child and is then able to get up the next day and put one foot in front of the other is nothing short of miraculous. I don't know that I could do it.

I think about the people who were out going about their business only to be violently gunned down. I think about the judge who has left 5 poor children without a grandfather and how deep that absence will be felt. I think about the adult children who lost parents and how painful that would be if I were to lose mine. I also just can't fathom how miraculous it is that Giffords is alive, let alone responding to commands and can't help but get my hopes up for a recovery and "normal" life again for her, however unlikely that may seem at the time. I also think constantly about the heroes who stopped the gunman from causing further bloodshed. I can't predict how I would react in a situation such as that. I would like to think I would do something to stop the shooting, but honestly I don't know if I would have the guts, strength, bravery, or resolve.

There is political rhetoric on both sides, finger pointing and blame. Frankly, I don't think political rhetoric and asinine accusations have any place in this terrible tragedy. Lives were lost, people in this community and across the nation are shocked and devastated and really all we should be doing is praying for these families. Or if you are not the praying kind, wishing them well, sending good thoughts/vibes, hoping for recovery and healing. Tucson is still "small town" in many ways (admittedly not all those ways are good) and that fact never becomes more evident than in times of tragedy and strife. People come together. I just hope that the politics that people are infusing don't tear us apart.

Greasy Center Mom

2011-01-06T17:27:00.000-08:00

I volunteered in my daughter's Kindergarten class today. Those kids are a crack-up. When I got there they were about to say the Pledge of Allegiance. The "Pledge Leader" takes his (a boy was this week's pledge leader) job very seriously and you can tell all the other kids do too as they give him his proper respect as he begins.

______

Last night as we were driving home I told my husband I needed to shower so I wouldn't have to do it in the morning. Our daughter says, "Yeah, you don't want to be a greasy 'Center Mom'." True dat! So I took my non-greasy self to her school this morning to help out and hang out with the kiddies.

One little girl tells me that she is going to go to Disneyland once her mom graduates from college. Then quickly says, "But that'll never happen. She has HUNDREDS of days left." Another kid was trying to say "I know who your daughter is" but kept tripping up on her words so she finally said, "I know who your sweetheart is."

A little boy had to hold my hand the entire time I read to him and then patted my hand when I was finished. Like I'd done an adequate job for him. :)

_____

I'm trying to get in the classroom once a week. It's hard with an infant who is breastfed because I can't be gone for too long and having someone to care for her is inconsistent. But I am glad I got to go today and the look on my daughter's face and the million hugs and kisses I got when I arrived and left was sooooo worth it.

In Which I Make the Tooth Fairy a Pimp

2011-01-03T22:56:00.000-08:00

Our daughter lost her first tooth a couple of days ago. She put it in a special container on her dresser and the next morning woke up to find a whopping $1.75 which she promptly spent on a bag of Starburst at the Dollar Store.

In September during her routine dental visit the dentist noticed that her two bottom permanent teeth were growing in behind her "baby" teeth. He wanted to give them around 3-4 months to fall out on their own; if they didn't, he'd have to pull them. Well, it's been three months and the one tooth isn't even loose and her permanent tooth is almost completely in.

Anyway, I was telling her today that we may have to have it pulled. The conversation that ensued left me feeling total unqualified. Also, my daughter is going to figure out pretty soon that I'm full of it.

Daughter: "Mom, where does the tooth fairy get all money?"

Me: "Um, I guess she just has it."

Daughter: "Mom, she can't just have it. It has to come from somewhere." (man, she's been paying too close attention to my conversations with my husband).

Me: "Well, I guess she gets it from her boss." (at this point I can tell the conversation is not going to just drop off with simple answers).

Daughter: "Okay, so what does she do with all the teeth she takes?"

Me: "I suppose she keeps them."

Daughter: "That doesn't make sense. Why would she want teeth?"
Me: (beginning to panic a little bit now....racking my brain trying to think of something, anything to say) "Actually she sells them to a man who collects teeth and then he gives her money."

Daughter: "Then she gives us the money?"
Me: "Exactly!"

Yeah, I'm going to hell for lying. It's all fun and games until she goes to school and tells her friends that the tooth fairy sold her teeth to the man who collects them and then she got paid. It's like the tooth fairy has become some sort of pimp.

2011

2011-01-01T19:03:00.000-08:00

2010 has come to an end. It's bittersweet. In many regards 2010 was a fantastic year (the birth of our third child comes to mind) and in others it has been incredibly difficult and disappointing. Overall, I am glad to be "starting fresh" in a sense. New Years Eve was my birthday. I turned thirty, ahem, THREE! Yikes. I pretty much quit celebrating my birthday once I passed 30. It just got depressing to keep recognizing the fact that I was getting OLD. So, we stayed around the house, went out for frozen yogurt and called it a night. I barely made it to midnight and really only did so because I was up with the baby. Yeah me!

So, how was your New Years? What did you do?

Family Day in the Snow

2010-12-30T20:17:00.001-08:00

Tucson has turned beautifully cold these past few days with highs in the 40's. It is rather uncharacteristic and so we have taken many opportunities to go outside and freeze our butts off. I guess when "cold" is a novelty it is more appreciated than when it is a regular part of life. I may not think it to be so awesome if I were living in it constantly.

Anyway, this morning my son and I were running some errands when he could see the snow on the mountains. He asked if we could go and see the snow. I figured, why not? We went home, grabbed my husband, and two daughters and hit the road. About 40 minutes later we were in a good 6-8 inches of snow and about 30 degree weather. It was amazing. We got the kiddos bundled up and sent them off. (There's my hunky husband and daughter throwing snowballs onto the car so we could drive back into town with snow on our hood).Our 5.5 year old daughter LOVED it. She was out there forever, running, jumping, sliding, falling in the snow; making snowballs and throwing them all over the place. She was red faced, cold, and happy. She'd fare well in my master plan to relocate our family to Boston at some point. :)

Our 3.5 year old son lasted about 20 minutes before he realized he was getting wet and then freaked out. He started crying hysterically about how his pants and gloves were wet and needed to be changed immediately. He then took off for the car in search of dry clothes. Guess he wouldn't last long in Bean Town.
Our almost 4 month old daughter spent most of her time with me in the car but I did take her out for a few minutes to commemorate the occasion with a photo. She has on two layers of clothing, a jacket, a blanket, an Elmer Fudd hat, a fleece hood, and then a jacket hood. That was a lot of work for about 5 minutes outside.
We stayed for an hour or so and then headed back to town for frozen yogurt...oh, the irony.

Christmas in Pictures

2010-12-25T22:27:00.000-08:00

This is what my living room looked like at 10 pm tonight. And these are just the presents from family members for our kids. The mess is killing me but I told myself, and the kids, that they could keep all toys out for 1 week. It's going to be the longest week of my life.Baby number 3 is 3.5 months old and started rolling over 3 days before Christmas. She rolled herself across the room to get to the presents. And then tried to EAT them.
Child number one opening her Disney Princess Deluxe Pack. Loves it.
Child number two discovering his Razor scooter.

We had a really wonderful Christmas and it is magical to see the joy of Christmas through the eyes of my children. They were so excited and thankful. Hope your Christmas was splendid.

Up and Down, All Around

2010-12-12T15:24:00.001-08:00

I'm sure my son has the attention span of a typical 3 year old boy. But I'll be damned if it is not killing me these days. He goes from one activity to the next, usually demanding my immediate involvement in a matter of minutes. By the time I get settled into one he's moved on to the next. This would not be a problem if it were just the two of us at home. But I have a 3 month old baby constantly in my arms, which requires lugging her around as well as keeping her happy as we move about the house every three minutes and twenty-seven seconds.

Our days goes something like, "Mommy, come upstairs to my room and play superheroes with me." I go upstairs, sit down start playing superheroes, and the next thing I know he's done. "Mommy, can you turn on the click start game for me?" Get that turned on, sit down to play with the baby and he's done. "Mommy, can you turn on Batman for me. I want to watch Batman." Turn on Batman. Son watches four minutes of it. "Mommy, I want to ride my bike outside." It takes me fifteen minutes to put his shoes on, open the garage, get his bike, set up my chair in the driveway so I can watch him. Just as all this gets complete, he rides his bike for five minutes and he's done with that too. It takes me another fifteen to put everything away. We go back inside, "Mommy, can you get out the crayons and some paper. I'm going to make a picture." I get out the art supplies, he scribbles for thirty seconds, and then asks if we can go play trucks upstairs.

Are you seeing the pattern?

How I haven't lost more weight is beyond me.

Does this go on in your house too?

Neighborly

2010-12-05T20:55:00.001-08:00

We bought our house when our neighborhood was being built. We were actually the third house up and saw the rest of the homes go up around us. Two years after moving in we had our first child and two more have followed since. Our oldest is now five and until a few months ago we could have sworn that no other kids lived in our neighborhood.

Then our daughter went off to school, our local public school. Each afternoon after school let out our streets and sidewalks became filled with kids riding bikes, scooters, playing catch, etc. Then, out for a walk one day, our daughter saw a classmate and they were beyond thrilled to learn they lived so close to each other. In the week since kids have come out of the woodwork. One of our daughter's best friends lives just down the road from us on our same street. Ironically, they have lived there almost as long as we have and yet we have never run into each other. Now, we are out almost everyday after school watching our children play as well as the weekends. It's actually really nice. It seems strange though that after 7 years we are finally starting to meet more of our neighbors, especially those with children.

Some of my best childhood memories are those that involve playing with the neighborhood children. We rode bikes, played ball in the street, went in and out of each other's homes as if they were our own. Today people are much more cautious and stand offish and I can understand much of that, but it sure would be nice to have a little bit more of that true neighborly and community feeling and we are starting to have some of that. It's nice.

Three Blessings

2010-11-14T19:36:00.000-08:00

These three blessings are saving my life right now. They bring me immeasurable joy and give me such a sense of purpose, a reason to get up every morning. Things in general are a bit of a clusterfuck right now. One aspect of my life that couldn't be better is the relationships I have with each of my children.

The Snowbirds are Arriving En Masse

2010-11-10T22:02:00.000-08:00

Every year around this time the snowbirds (aka: old people from colder parts of the country) begin arriving in Tucson. And every year around this time the locals, myself included, get cranky. It's not that I don't like old people. I have an ancient grandmother whom I love very much. It's not even that I really mind that they've arrived. Heck, we can use all the help to our economy that we can get.

It's their driving that gets me all hot and bothered. They are s l o w.

Today after picking up my daughter from school we headed down to visit the aforementioned ancient grandmother. Generally speaking it takes 20 minutes to arrive. Today it took 30. I swear every car I got behind or next to was a person over the age of 70 in a car with an out of state license plate, like Wisconsin or Michigan or Idaho or South Dakota.

The road rage I was suppressing was immense. You can tell my children ride with me all the time as my three year old, sensing my frustration, says, "There are stupid idiots on this road." Couldn't have said it better myself, kiddo!

It is for this reason, among a few others, that I don't own a firearm.

I Am Tired

2010-09-25T17:30:00.000-07:00

Life with 3 kids 5 and under sure is interesting. Our "newborn" is now 3 weeks old and I am back in the groove of "life as usual." I am taking and picking up our daughter from school, cleaning, cooking meals, doing laundry, giving baths, paying bills, making and keeping appointments, and the host of other tasks that consume my daily life. Sometimes it's a bit hard and it definitely requires that I start preparing much earlier for when I want to leave my house, but all in all it's been a relatively smooth transition from 2 kids to 3. Definitely easier in many regards than the transition from 1 kids to 2.

I'm still primarily trying to stay home during the day as I don't like to take new babies out in public too much (germ phobia). That and the fact that my boobs are constantly leaking and more times than not I forget to put the "pads" in my bra. Before I know it I'm driving down the road and the front of my shirt is soaked. My daughter loves when I pick her up from school like that, trust me. I've had to start carrying the baby close to my chest instead of pushing her in a stroller to hide the leakage.

Both older kids have adjusted so well to their new sister. They adore her! There is no jealousy or impatience or regression of behavior. Really, I expected some type of acting out from one or both of them (especially since our daughter such a rough time when our son was born), but it just isn't there. And trust me, I'm thankful for that.

All that being said, I. AM. TIRED! The baby sleeps a good portion of the day and then is up all night, which means I am up all day and then all night. I think I've been getting somewhere in the ball park of 2-4 hours a night for the past 3 weeks. I'm not sure how much longer I can last like this, but I'm not thinking too much longer. My eyes burn, my head hurts, I nod off if I sit too long in one place (not really a problem since I don't ever get to really sit). All three of my kids were "backwards" for the first couple months of life and both of my older kids didn't sleep through the night until they were each 3 years old, so it could be a while. I saw one picture of myself where I seriously looked dead and I asked my husband how he could even stand to talk to me looking like that. He assured me I looked fine. I knew he was lying, but again. Thankful!

Anyway, life is busy but good. Any ideas on the whole sleeping issue?

Family of Five

2010-09-07T20:51:00.000-07:00

Last week I gave birth to child number 3. All went smoothly and I made sure to get up and walking after the c-section so that we could get discharged after 2 days (My hospital experience was not a pleasant one, but that's another post for another time). We've been home for a week now and so far the transition has been pretty seamless. The kids adore their new sister and have been a huge help to me. My husband took two weeks off to help as I recover. I'm sure things will be a bit hectic for a while once he goes back to work but for now I am just trying to rest, relax, and enjoy the extra help.

To say that I am smitten with our new daughter is a gross understatement. There are no words to adequately express the feelings when a new child is born. I love her beyond measure and feel so blessed to be her mother. She's nursing well and is pretty mellow as a whole. She has her days and nights mixed up so I'm pretty sleep-deprived but at least when she does sleep she sleeps well....something neither of our other kids did especially well until they were each close to 3 years of age.

Needless to say I am being kept busy, but it's a wonderful kind of busy!

Mono

2010-08-25T15:07:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago our son fell suddenly and incredibly ill. He ran a very high fever and the lymph nodes in his neck, armpits, and groin swelled to unbelievable proportions....proportions that literally deformed his face. His eyes swelled almost completely shut and his face was so swollen he did look like he had some type of physical deformation. It was very scary. During his exam the doctors discovered his spleen was about 3 inches below where it should be, exposing it and making it very dangerous if he were to fall or be hit.

We rushed him to the hospital where they promptly ran a series of test that said it was "likely" a severe case of mono but that some of his blood work raised suspicions of leukemia or lymphoma. We were shocked, scared, speechless. You see because in addition to this I was three weeks away from giving birth at the time (now I'm down to 6 days away). These past two weeks have been unreal. It has involved days of doctors appointments, blood tests, exams, and waiting, waiting, waiting for results.

A week into his illness the spot test for mono came back positive alleviating some of the concerns, but they still weren't able to rule out cancer. Just the thought of my sweet, precious three year old son being stricken with cancer was beyond words devastating. The last round of tests have led my doctor to say that she's really not worried about cancer anymore, but they will continue to monitor him for a while to make sure and also to make sure that his mono is getting better. Even if it was "only just mono" the fact that he was/is so sick is frightening. Apparently, most kids that get mono don't even know it. It passes as just a really bad cold. Why our son has been hit so hard with it is a mystery. It happens rarely, but it does still happen and apparently he is one of the kids it happens to.

Anyway, we are two weeks into this illness and he's still very ill. Today is the first day he has shown any sign of improvement and I am hoping that it will be lasting and not just a fluke. I have been up with him 'round the clock as he has had incredible difficulty sleeping (breathing issues due to the size of his tonsils and swollen lymph nodes). I'm exhausted but know I have no other choice.

I just keep praying that he will gradually improve, day by day, before Tuesday.....the day I am scheduled to give birth. It is likely going to be months before he is fully recovered and the thought of continuing to care for him and a brand new baby is a bit daunting, but I trust that it will work out and life will go on. He and my daughter will be staying with my mom while I'm in the hospital so I know they will both be in good hands but I still hate to leave him knowing he is sick.

So, that is what has been occupying all of my time here. What's new in your world?

Kindergarten, Babies, and Other Thoughts

2010-08-16T08:57:00.000-07:00

Our daughter started Kindergarten last week and all of my worrying and fretting was for naught. She did wonderfully. Her teacher seems delightfully nice and competent, most of her classmates seem like good kids, the principal came across as hands-on and kind, and I left feeling like she was in the right place. It still hasn't alleviated all of the worrying. I miss her like crazy and at times really wish she were still home with me. However, she enjoys going and I would never want to do anything to give her a negative impression of school. There will be plenty of those feelings she develops on her own later. But still, she's FIVE. Should five year olds really be sent off to school? It just seems so young. However, her being in school has allowed me to view her from a new perspective. I have always been proud of her and known she was kind, caring, sympathetic, and bright. However, being able to see her the way others, who aren't incredibly biased, see her has been a blessing.

On the second day of school when I went to pick her up I had a mother come up and introduce herself to me and tell me how sweet she thought my daughter was and how much she appreciated what she had done on the first day. I had no idea what she was talking about. Apparently, this woman's daughter was crying while she was being dropped off and my daughter walked up to her, gave her a hug, took her hand and walked her into the classroom. They have become fast friends and this woman wanted to let me know how much she appreciated it. Hearing this about my daughter literally brought tears to my eyes.

Then this past Friday my daughter earned a toy out of the prize box. They get a stamp for everyday that they are on task all day and have no behavior issues. If they finish the week with five stamps they get to choose a prize. Our daughter finished with her five stamps and was allowed to choose a toy. Instead of choosing something she wanted she came home with a Star Wars toy for her brother because she said she wanted him "to be happy." Again, tears!

To see her interact in this world, with others and demonstrate the same type of kindness I see at home makes me think that everything will be okay. Words really can't convey how proud I am of her.

______________________________________

On another topic I am two weeks away from giving birth to baby number three. This sure snuck up on me. It's hard to believe that we will soon be a family of five. Thinking about getting my oldest to school, my middle to gym class, and all the other errands I normally have to run while toting along a newborn gives me a bit of anxiety but I'm sure I'll figure it all out. People do it all the time and I had these fears with each of my previous two children and it all turned out fine. Moms figure it out. That's what we do.

______________________________________

Times are A'Changin'

2010-07-30T14:10:00.000-07:00

Our daughter starts Kindergarten in a week. She is thrilled as can be and there is no doubt she is ready, but I am a nervous wreck. I don't want to send her off into this world where I can't see her and shield her and protect her. Just the thought of dropping her off on her first day has been giving me serious anxiety. Yesterday we went school supply shopping. Since we live in a state that doesn't value education and the budgets have been slashed we got a list PAGES long for supplies for not only our own kids but other kids in the class and teacher supplies. Lovely. anyway, that mission is accomplished, she has school clothes and once I get her new tennis shoes she will be set.

When my husband and I first moved here we took into consideration the school district and the particular schools our future children would be zoned to attend. A year ago we got rezoned. Either elementary school would be fine; they are both good schools but we were partial to the previous school for a couple of reasons. So, we applied for a variance and crossed our fingers. We were set on her attending this school. Then we found out they were having a large Kindergarten class and they would be unlikely to approve any open enrollment kids, of which our daughter is one, so we started getting ourselves used to the idea that she'd attend the school in which we are zoned.

For someone like me who plans out everything far in advance the not knowing has been killing me all summer. We were supposed to find out by this past Monday if she would be approved. When we called they hadn't made a decision about open enrollment until they finalized numbers for those kids who actually lived within the boundaries. Then today I got a call from the Principal who said that he was hoping to get approval for another Kindergarten class at which point our daughter would be approved and then that would significantly drop the class size to even smaller than the other school. But he won't know for sure until Monday. She starts the following Monday. Can I just say that I am stressed.

On top of that I am hot, very pregnant, and HOT!!! I have 30 days until this baby is born and it just feels like there are so many changes happening all at once. Any good, calming vibes you could send my way would be appreciated.

Five on the Fourth

2010-07-06T08:55:00.000-07:00

My daughter takes after my mom in that she loves hotels. I'm not just talking about enjoys staying at them, but seriously LOVES them. And she's picky. She's a 4 star or 5 star resort type of gal. Travelling once we stayed at just a local hotel we found and she was like, "Ooh, this place is gross. Did you see how small the pool is. I bet they don't even have room service." Yeah, definitely my mom.

Anyway, her birthday is the 4th of July and since we had her party last weekend when our family was in town we had no real plans for the actual day of her birthday. Lo and behold she asked if we could go stay at a resort. She knows how to work it too. "Mom, you won't have to cook and you can swim so you won't be hot and you can just lay in the hotel bed and rest because you're pregnant." Master manipulator that one!

Anyway, I pricelined a room and got a 4 star resort in Scottsdale for $60/night. I took that as God's way of saying we were meant to spend the weekend in luxury. It was heaven. Large, comfortable room. Fun, happening, pool area. Nice dinners in Scottsdale each night. And two kids who didn't fight AT ALL. In the midst of all this fun my "baby" turned FIVE. FIVE! I can hardly believe it. It literally seems like just a year or so ago that I gave birth to her. Yet, here I am 8 months pregnant with child number 3. Where did the time go?

Sick Boy

2010-07-01T21:48:00.001-07:00

My kids are tell it like it is type of people. Pretty much they are miniature versions of me. I don't sugar coat, I don't mince words, and I don't waste words (although some may argue this blog does just that). My kids are the same way. I love that about them...even though at times it can be highly embarrassing.

My son has been telling me for a few days now that he is a "sick boy." He wouldn't tell me that unless he was. He doesn't fake illness for attention or make things up for the fun of it. The problem was that he didn't seem sick. He wasn't acting sick. In fact, he seemed perfectly fine, so while I acknowledged his continued assertions that he was a "sick boy" inside I was wondering what the heck he was talking about.

Then yesterday he pooped his body weight in a yellow mustardy color poop that reminded me of a breast-fed newborn. I had to light every candle in the house just to faintly get rid of the smell. Putrid doesn't begin to describe it. I guess he was sick.

But today he woke up seemingly fine so after dropping my daughter off at Vacation Bible School for the morning I took him grocery shopping. Suddenly he starts ripping these loud, horrendous farts throughout the store all the while telling me that his stomach hurt. We were standing in the dairy section getting milk and eggs and yogurt when he farts so loudly I swear people thought it was me. To deflect the attention I said, "Wow, buddy are you okay?" He says, "When you have to toot you have to toot. There's nothing you can do about it." The old lady next to us about peed through her depends she was laughing so hard. She then says, "Ain't that the truth."

Anyway, he spent the remainder of the day sick as a dog. I guess he really was a "sick boy."

The Harsh Realities

2010-06-29T07:54:00.000-07:00

I have been a bad blogger lately. The truth of the matter is that I really just haven't felt like it. At all. There's actually been a lot going on lately that I could be blogging about, but I just haven't wanted to. I posted something a week or so ago about a friend's husband dying and then promptly took it down. It was too soon. It seemed way too personal to be talking about something so horrific. It still does.

I will tell you this though. You can make plans for the present and the future and in a split second those plans can be forever altered, changed, ruined. It doesn't take much and that is scary. You can assume you will raise your children together, go on vacation, retire and travel and then grow old sitting on the porch together until you both peacefully pass from this world to the next. Then something can happen that shatters that illusion and makes that idyllic scene completely impossible. You can be left alone, raising your children by yourself. A widow or widower when you are still technically young.

Being faced with these thoughts lately has given me a much greater appreciation for the life I currently have, knowing that it is possible that at any moment that life can be altered. It makes some of the "little" things my husband and I bicker about seem so pointless.

I suppose my point is just that life can be unfair; it can suck and be painful and seemingly unbearable. But the possibility of these things happening shouldn't make us stop appreciating the positives simply because there is a *chance* something bad could happen. Sometimes fear can be paralyzing and we need to remind ourselves to live, to continue to enjoy life, and deal with the harsh realities when they occur but definitely not to live in constant fear of them *possibly* happening. And that is what I have spent these past few weeks trying to do.

Sharing Is Not Synonymous with "I Want, Therefore I Take"

2010-06-08T18:59:00.000-07:00

I am curious as to when the term "share" became synonymous with the word "take." Each week this past year I sat in the lobby with my son while my daughter took an hour long gym class. Each week I heard parents tell their children or implore others "to share." Some used this term correctly, but most did not even come close.

Today I reached my breaking point with a certain mother who loudly tells other kids that they have to "share" each time her spoiled brat of a kid whines about wanting a toy another kid is playing with. Today it happened to be my son. He was sitting with a few pieces that connect to make a bridge. This kid came over and tried to take the pieces from my son. God bless him, he held his ground and looked over at me like, "Do I have to give these up?" His mother then says, "Well, we ALL have to share. Maybe that boy will share with you." For the record, I hate that passive-aggressive bullshit. Not to mention....THAT'S NOT SHARING!!! THAT'S TAKING. There is a huge difference. Might I recommend a dictionary in which to look it up. I wasn't going to say anything in response, other than telling my son, that "No, you're fine. Keep playing" but the woman just wouldn't stop with her yapping about "sharing" said repeatedly solely for my benefit. I finally just looked at her and said, "Encouraging your child to take my child's toys is not SHARING. It's TAKING. Don't misuse the first word to justify the selfish act of the second." The room fell silent.

I just don't think sharing should be used as a justification for taking what you want right when you want it. Don't misunderstand. I don't advocate selfishness. Kids need to learn to share certain things (within reason) and take turns, etc. My issue becomes when people (read parents) use the term "share" to essentially justify taking something they want or they want their kid to have. Don't try to categorize that under the heading of "sharing." Just be honest about what it is.

If my kid has five toys and is playing with one then his friends can play with the other four. That's sharing. Sharing doesn't mean that my kid has to give up the one toy he is currently playing with because some other kid wants it right at that moment. My kid clearly wants it too. Which is why he is playing with it in the first place. So, why do some people view sharing as one kid having to give that one toy up when another wants it? That is not sharing at all. To me, there is a difference.

I would never expect a parent to make their kid give up his/her toy simply because my kid wants it too. I'd have my kid(s) find something else to play with until that kid was done with it. I just don't understand the parents who won't tell their kids, "No, that other kid is playing with that toy now, you will have to wait and find something else to play with." There are too many parents who are teaching their kids that to "share" means to a) take what you want when you want it and if that kid doesn't give it up then he/she isn't "sharing" and b) you have to give up a toy you are playing with if another kid expresses the slightest bit of interest and if you don't then you aren't "sharing" either.

There is going to be a generation, even more so than there already is, that will just expect instant results, instant gratification, never having been exposed to the concept of delayed gratification because they were always given what they wanted when they wanted it with little regard for others.

When relaying this story to a friend today she said, "Well, my husband doesn't believe in sharing at all. He thinks once you claim a toy it is yours to play with until you are done. That may be five minutes or it might be all day." I'm interested in your thoughts on this. Where do you stand? What say you?

Randomness

2010-06-03T08:55:00.000-07:00

My baby turned three this past holiday weekend. THREE! So hard to believe when it seems like just yesterday he was born. We had a party for him the day before his birthday which was great. He had a lot of fun and ended up with some pretty cool gifts that he loves and has been playing with non-stop since. Monday, his actual birthday, we took him out to dinner....more as a result of my lack of desire to cook than for his birthday but we let him think it was for his celebration.
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My daughter started an art class this week. An actual art class. So much of what passes for art these days is really activities and crafts that truthfully doesn't take a lot of artistic ability. I don't know yet whether my daughter has any natural artistic ability but this class is great. It teaches a step by step approach to drawing and it's amazing what she came out with after just her first class. The program is Young Rembrandts and it is nationwide. You should check it out.
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I have under three months left of this pregnancy. I can hardly believe that it has gone by this quickly. It's strange. This is my third pregnancy and I am obviously older with this pregnancy than either of my previous and yet as a whole this pregnancy has been the least complicated. Sure, I was sick at the beginning, sure there was a whole blood pressure scare that turned out to be nothing, and sure I am tired but as a whole I feel good and at times really don't even feel pregnant....I don't quite look it either, which is odd.
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We enrolled our son in a gymnastics class that runs once a week through the month of June. It is his first class of any type and we weren't sure how he was going to respond. He's a rock star. He participated right away, followed directions, did as he was told and had a blast. It was unbelievably cute watching him bounce on the trampoline, climb a ladder, walk on the balance beam, etc. I love this age!

Rendered Impotent

2010-05-27T21:54:00.000-07:00

A few nights ago around 9 pm our phone rang. I answered it with a quick "Hello" and a woman on the other end calmly says, "I know who you are and I am going to fucking kill you." I hung up immediately and she called right back. I said "Hello" again and she started in again saying, "I know who you are, I know where you live, and I'm going to fucking kill you." I interrupted and said, "You have the wrong number. I have no idea who you are or what this is about." She replied, "Don't fuck with me and don't you ever fucking call Sherry again." I said, "I don't even know a Sherry. You have the wrong number" and again hung up.

She calls back a third time at which point I was pissed and a bit scared too and she starts right in talking about how she's not going to come alone and she's going to kill us all and that I better not fuck with her. Clearly telling her she had the wrong number again wasn't going to get me anywhere so I just told her that I was going to call the police. At that point she hung up on me and didn't call back. I'm hoping that at this point she realized she had the wrong number.

An officer was sent out to our home and I relayed the story. This woman blocked her number. The police said that without the number they could do nothing and even with the number we would then have to be able to prove who made the call and that this woman could claim she lost her phone, didn't make the call, the list of excuses goes on. So, the following day my husband calls our phone company and explains what happens and says he needs the phone number to complete the police report. They cite privacy laws and state that without a subpoena they cannot release the number of the incoming call. They do inform us that if it happens again we can pay for a line trace and then the police can call the phone company to get that number, but supposedly the trace has to happen immediately following that call and that we have no access to that trace, again without a subpoena.

Here's the thing. My husband and I know she had a wrong number. She obviously thought she was calling someone else, so it is not like we are worried about some crazy person looking to hunt us down. We do worry some just about mistaken identity and tying our phone number to our address and then showing up. However, the larger point is that with all parties claiming there is nothing they can do I can totally see how actual intended targets end up dead. Think about abused women, stalking victims, etc. If I was the actual target and was receiving these calls and the cops repeatedly told me they could do nothing then there are not a lot of options left for the victim. It's a bit disturbing really.

Supersititions

2010-05-21T08:36:00.001-07:00

Growing up my mom took us over to see my grandparents (on my dad's side) often. Her father died two weeks before I was born and her mother when I was 6 months old so I only really knew one set of grandparents and then my grandmother's parents, my great-grandparents, as well. My mom and Nana, as we called her, went out for breakfast all the time and after school we'd always stop by to play at her house. Nana died in March 1985, when I was 7.

When I was much older my grandmother would tell the story of the final driver's license my Nana received before her death. She went down to the DMV to have a new picture taken. When her license arrived in the mail in January there was no picture on the license. Apparently, my Nana took this as a type of superstitious premonition predicting that she wouldn't be around much longer, despite having no real health problems. She died of either a heart attack or stroke...at the moment I can't seem to recall....but unexpected nonetheless.

Anyway, I was cleaning out some drawers for my grandma the other day when I came across a bill fold that had a bunch of old credit cards and identification cards that all belonged to my great-grandparents. In the bunch was the infamous driver's license that lacked a picture. It was a rather eery feeling to know my Nana got this just a couple of months before dying and that she seemed to *know* her demise was imminent. My grandmother was just going to throw it away, so I kept it.

Random Conversations that Make Me Laugh

2010-05-13T17:27:00.000-07:00

* My daughter has a girl in her gymnastics class named Elizabeth. My daughter informs her teacher today that she has a doll at home named Elizabeth also. The teacher says, "Well, is your doll as pretty as this Elizabeth here?" My daughter replies, "Yes, my doll is much prettier." While I may need to have a discussion about tact with my daughter I am thinking this particular teacher should apply the same "rule" lawyers use and never ask a question that you don't already know the answer to.

* I was cleaning out my daughter's room the other day and moving furniture so we could clean our carpets. I said, "You just have way too many toys." She says in response, "Well, why did you buy me all these toys then?" I thought for a moment and said, "That's a good question." She says, "Well, maybe you just shouldn't have bought me so many." Hard to argue with that logic.

* Out of the blue my daughter asks if having your tubes tied hurts. (For starters I don't have my tubes tied so I have no clue and secondly I have no idea where she would have ever even heard about having your tubes tied). I said, "No, I don't really think so but where did you hear about that?" My daughter says, "I just read about it on my computer. Like on Facebook."

* The other day when driving my daughter says, "Mom, is our new baby going to be black or white?" I said, "Well, she's going to be white just like you and your brother and mommy and daddy." She was silent and I said, "Why do you ask?" She says, "Well, it would be weird to have a black baby since we're not black." Indeed! I think my husband would have quite a few questions if I birthed a baby any color other than pasty white.

* At the grocery store the other day an older woman says, "Oh, your kids are so cute. How old are they?" I replied, "Thanks. They're 4 and 2." She looks at them again and says, "Are they twins?"

Times Are a' Changin'

2010-05-02T08:34:00.001-07:00

During my first pregnancy I held strictly to the no caffeine rule. I started weaning myself months before I became pregnant and didn't take a sip of caffeine the entire nine months. My husband came to every appointment with me (except for maybe one or two), even the routine monthly ones. About 12 weeks in I painted the nursery gender neutral colors (we didn't know the sex yet) and had the crib, dresser, changing table, and other baby necessities set up and ready to go.

Pregnancy number two wasn't much different. I still tried to avoid caffeine and except for the days that I just couldn't bear the migraines at which point I'd drink a real coke, I didn't put caffeine in my body. My husband came to less appointments with me as we realized his presence wasn't necessary at every single weigh in and I still had the nursery set up and ready around the start of my second trimester. We knew we were having a boy so we bought clothes and blankets and sheets and other more "manly" gear. By the time he was actually born we had been ready for 5-6 months.

Oh, how things change! Here I am 22 weeks into pregnancy number 3 (5months) and while I don't drink a ton of caffeine I have usually one glass (usually in the form of a soda) of caffeine a day. My husband has come to exactly ONE prenatal appointment with me....the one where we found out the sex and while his absence would have bothered the crap out of me during pregnancy number 1, I could care less now, realizing it's inconvenient for him to take off work and really outside of the "major" appointments I don't need him there anyway. As far as the nursery goes.....we have done NOTHING! I did sort clothes once we found out we were having a girl but now those close are dumped in a massive pile in what is currently our home office but what needs to transform into a nursery. The thought of doing it is overwhelming. The cleaning, the moving of furniture, the painting, the organizing. It has to get done and I'm starting to have some anxiety issues about whether or not I'll finish it in the next few months, but I just don't even want to start.

And don't even get me started on the journals I planned to keep each pregnancy. With our daughter I wrote diligently, almost daily throughout her pregnancy. I wrote quite a bit during my son's pregnancy as well, although at this point I have no idea where that journal is. I realized the other day that I haven't written a word about number 3, so I ran out and bought a journal the other day that I figured I better start writing in before this pregnancy is over and there is no record of it.

At this pace if we have a fourth he/she'll be lucky if we remember to name him/her!

Domestic Disturbances

2010-05-01T20:53:00.000-07:00

My husband and I don't argue a lot and when we do we make it a point to not do so in front of the kids. Today we had a bit of a verbal back and forth where voices were raised. The kids were in the backyard but had apparently come inside at some point and started hysterically crying upon hearing the argument. It broke my heart. They were scared and confused and clearly didn't like their mommy and daddy upset with each other.

It just made me think about kids who are raised in an environment where yelling, shouting, and fighting are the norm. I'm sure they get used to it to the point where it doesn't phase them or to the point where they no longer react, but that's sad in and of itself. No kid should ever have to get used to that.

The kids calmed down pretty quickly when I explained that mommy and daddy were just having a disagreement and that everything was fine, we all still loved each other. However, their response was enough to convince me that a home where fighting is the norm is no place for children. I've always been on the side of, "You don't get divorced, you work it out, especially if kids are involved." Today made me think though that if I were in a marriage that was constant fighting I'd do anything to protect my kids from that, including leave.

Do you make it a point to not argue in front of your child/children? How do your children handle spats between you and your spouse?

East Coast Vacation

2010-04-30T14:24:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday we boarded an airplane and headed to Washington D.C. for a week long stay with my parents who reside in Northern Virginia. I spent weeks, okay months, worrying about flying with our 2 year old son. It's not that he is poorly behaved, but he's an active boy and neither child has ever flown before. Turns out all the time spent worrying was time wasted. The kids could not have been more perfect on the 2 hour flight to Dallas and then the 3 hour flight into Reagan. Both loved flying (a lot more than their mother who hates it) and spent much of the time looking out the window.

I could write a book about all we did, but I'll try to keep it as concise as possible. First of all, we went in knowing that there would be quite a bit of walking involved. However, I think my husband and I severely underestimated the amount of walking that truly was involved. Our 4 year old daughter walked the entire time for the entire week. I still don't know how she did it. Our son did the best he could, but fortunately my husband was able to carry him for much of it.

We spent Friday visiting my dad at his office, then headed in to the Natural History Museum and the Air and Space Museum. The Air and Space was a hit, especially with our son. He is obsessed with airplanes. The Natural History was a bit disappointing. We had everyone tell us it was a must-see, but I guess as a whole I was a little underwhelmed. The other thing that took some getting used to was the crowds. The sheer number of people in DC is shocking. I thought Arizona was crowded, but it is nothing compared to the crowds we fought through in DC. We drove by the memorials and White House later that night and it was great to see everything lit up.

Saturday we rented a car and drove into Baltimore to visit the aquarium. Our son loved the dolphin show and we really liked the stingray and shark exhibit. After being to Sea World, though, the aquarium just doesn't compare. I'm glad we went and I enjoyed Baltimore and the weather was absolutely gorgeous.

Sunday started off with a hitch as our rental car was towed from my parents' parking garage. We got it back relatively quickly and headed to Mt. Vernon. It was beautiful and walking the same grounds George Washington walked was amazing. I would kill for a house and yard like that!

Monday we toured the Capitol and then the Holocaust Museum. That was hard. We had the kids with us and were asked a lot of questions by our daughter about why someone would want to kill all those people. I'm thankful that some of the more graphic depictions had walls to block the kids from seeing them. When I was ten and living in Germany we visited Dachau. I still have very vivid memories of the gas chambers, incinerators, and the bunks. So seeing something to this magnitude put it all in perspective and really was hard to wrap my brain around. It is hard to believe that that type of evil existed in the world. We spent two hours there and could have easily spent another two if we were sans kids. The one thing that really haunted me was how anyone (and there are many) could deny that the Holocaust happened considering how well documented it was by the Nazi's. The other thing that was disturbing is that Denmark was the only country who refused to participate and who helped "rescue" the Jewish people who were escaping.

By the end of day 4 we were exhausted. We were tired and I was in quite a bit of pain. I have lower back problems that have worsened as this pregnancy has progressed and I also have a knee injury that will require surgery to fix that I re -injured days before leaving, so I was truly the Walking Wounded. We had planned to spent Tuesday at the DC Zoo, but the mere thought of an hour commute on the Metro and then actually walking the grounds of the zoo was not really that appealing so I did a google search and discovered something called the Reston Zoo. It was a petting zoo about 20 minutes from my parents and it was so much fun. I highly recommend it! There were ostrich, emu, sheep, goats, antelopes, kangaroos, bison, camels, and a plethora of other animals that you could feed and pet. The kids loved it and it didn't require much walking at all.

Our final day we stayed close to home again so I could get some laundry and packing done. We did drive into George Mason University. I wanted to see the campus and it was a good chance for the kids to run free and not disturb anyone.

Overall, the trip was amazing. The kids were beyond great, we had a ton of fun, ate great ethic food and seafood, and the weather was PERFECT!

I can see why my dad loves it so much out there. Truthfully, I'd probably move there in a heartbeat. I made the comment multiple times that people on the east coast seem to be a more civilized people. They aren't necessarily more friendly but they are more polite. People would bump into me and immediately say, "Excuse me" or "I'm sorry." In Arizona if that happens people either don't say anything or they say something like, "Eff you, asshole." That was made apparently clear as I was grocery shopping today. I almost screamed out, "Oh, please send me back to Virginia!"

The Big Picture

2010-04-21T09:51:00.000-07:00

I have a tendency to view things as "the worst possible thing ever." Then inevitably something happens to either a family member, a friend, or even a stranger that puts things in perspective and makes me feel foolish and ashamed for ever feeling that way in the first place. Not to necessarily minimized the particular plight or hardship we are facing but it makes me realize that there are worse things and that maybe I should be more thankful for the blessings that I do have and not take them for granted or just expect that they will always be around.

For example a few years ago my husband was a car salesman. He did really well until the economy tanked and we were really struggling. He was looking for another job (thankfully he has a college degree to fall back on which made his current job a possibility) but money was really, really tight. He found a job almost immediately and while he has to work his ass off (80/hr. weeks every week) he is providing for our family in such a way that continues to allow me to be home with our children. During this same time a co-worker of my husband's was facing a similar situation, but he has no education or work experience outside of working at a car dealership. They have had to give up much and things are not looking good for them. Foreclosure on their home and bankruptcy is a real possibility. There are times I get down because my husband seems like he is always gone but then I think "At least we're not near bankruptcy" and it puts things in perspective.

Similarly, there are times I am annoyed at little things. Maybe because my husband leaves his clothes all over the house so I can tell the exact path he took when he got home the night before. Or the fact that I receive virtually no help ever with my children. I am with them 24 hours/ 7 days a week. No one ever takes them for an hour so I can run some errands or anything like that and there are days that togetherness is hard. But then I think about a friend whose husband was just diagnosed with cancer and they have young children who may soon be fatherless. Or I think about a young girl who has brain cancer. She is the same age as my daughter. The thought of living a day without her makes my frustration with no "me time" seem silly.

Then I think about this new life growing inside of me. I would never say that I have taken any pregnancy for granted. I know from first hand experience how possible and devastating it is to lose a child somewhere along the way during a pregnancy Because of that experience, I always worry early on until a few ultrasounds have been done if there is anything wrong, anything that might cause me to lose the baby. I'm always so thankful when I find out that things are looking great. It's easy to lose sight of the fact that not every pregnancy is smooth sailing. I have close to ten friends who are pregnant and all due within a month or two of my due date. A couple of them have recently learned there are complications and more than likely will lose their children at some point during their pregnancies. I am crushed for them. Learning that something is wrong is at times crippling and it puts in perspective the miracle that childbirth truly is. It's amazing that so many make it into this world at all with all the variable of possibilities of things that could go wrong.

I guess it just seems like at times people, myself definitely included, fail to see what is going on around them. We tend to live in our little bubbles where what happens to us is "the worst." That is not to say that because someone has it worse, our problems aren't problems. I guess what I am saying is that it helps to look at the big picture.

Facebook and Me

2010-04-15T09:28:00.000-07:00

I reluctantly joined Facebook a little over a year ago after caving into some hard-core peer pressure. (Yes, I know...I'm weak, so weak)! Relatively quickly I got back into contact with a ton of old friends and even some former really great friends who I had just lost contact with over the years. It was nice catching up, hearing about what was going on in their lives, and going through pictures of their kids. It felt like the past 10-15 years had been condensed into a high-light reel, which is many instances is a good thing.

But then I started getting friend requests from people I barely knew in high school and/or college. My first instinct was to reject the friend request, but I figured that might be too mean, so I started approving everyone. You know, it just seems a bit ridiculous though that if I never spoke to you or you me in real life that we are all of a sudden Facebook pals.

Then for some of these people (and in all honesty some actual friends as well) their Facebook page became the place for them to rant about politics or religion or the state of education and on and on and on. Truthfully, that is the part I HATE, LOATHE, DESPISE about Facebook. I started hiding "these people" from my news feed and then I started deleting them as friends. The one good thing about Facebook is that when you defriend someone they don't send out a notice announcing that a defriending has taken place. I can just slink quietly away and hope they forget about me and our Facebook friendship.

I have thought regularly about deleting my account entirely, but then realized I would miss the updates from actual friends who live half a world away. It is a quick, easy way to keep in touch with people I am friends with in "real life" and I wouldn't want to sacrifice that because of a few annoyances.

So, today I bravely logged on and started deleting "friends." My criteria was simply two-fold: a)If we weren't friends or spoke on a regular basis in real life then you were cut; b)If we haven't communicated regularly through Facebook in the past 6 months you were cut. At first I was super hesitant to hit that "delete friend" button. Pretty soon though I had deleted around 30 people and here, five minutes later, I probably couldn't tell you one of their names. It felt freeing, liberating!

Are you on Facebook? Do you occasionally "weed out" friends?

Random Thoughts About Our Upcoming Vacation

2010-04-12T09:18:00.000-07:00

* We have been planning on a trip to visit my parents in Virginia for three months now. I have prayed every single one of those days that we would all be healthy for the 8 days that we are there. Three weeks ago the kids got sick followed by me. The illness only lasted a week so I figured we'd be good to go. We were good for at least another month or so before it was our turn to be sick again. But, last week my brother and his wife came to visit from Milwaukee. They brought the plague with them and got most of our family sick, me and my kids included. We now leave in 10 days. Oh, how I am hoping a)we are completely recovered and b)my husband doesn't catch it and end up spending the entire trip sick.

* There is a major difference between how I plan for a vacation versus how my husband plans for a vacation. Case in point: I have been making a rough outline of the places we want to visit while there. I have done this by trying to appropriately balance the museums and other places of interest that we as adults want to see with fun activities and places to visit for the kids. Nothing spells disaster like a day of visiting museums while dragging two disinterested kids around. My husband's primary concern for each city or area I mention is the food. For example, we were contemplating a day trip into Philadelphia. While I was thinking Liberty Bell my husband was thinking cheese steaks. He was mapping out Pat's and Geno's and some other off-the-beaten trail place that is supposedly better than both. When it became clear that Philadelphia was probably too far for a day trip he was bummed....not because of the places we wouldn't get to visit, but because he wouldn't get his cheese steaks. We are now planning to spend a day in Baltimore. Again, I am thinking aquarium, walks along the waterfront, etc. He is researching seafood restaurants where you can get crab and bang them open on a table lined with newspaper.

* I have successfully managed to pack a week's worth of belongings for me and two kids in one bag, with still 5 pounds to spare. How I did this is beyond me. I am the person who packs for a month when we are gone for 4 days. I am the person who usually takes two huge suitcases just for myself for less than a week. I think part of it is knowing that my parents have a washer and dryer so I didn't bring as much, but I still probably brought more than we'll end up wearing. I swear this particular suitcase has a never ending bottom. I just keep filling it and more room remains. It's awesome!

The Dangers of the Sharp-Toothed Snail

2010-04-09T11:20:00.001-07:00

When my son was around a year old he found a tiny, round, pink piece of plastic that had come off my daughter's jewelry box. He managed to quickly stuff it up his nose so far that I was unable to get it with tweezers. We ended up having to take him to the doctor where they inserted what looks like a device used during pap smears in order to safely remove the plastic. It was not a pleasant experience and since that time I talk almost daily about NEVER, EVER sticking ANYTHING up your nose. EVER! Did I mention ever?

Every once in a while I'll catch him with something close to his nose where I promptly remind him to not stick that up his nose. Fast forward almost two years.

My husband and I read to the kids from Where The Sidewalk Ends fairly regularly. One of the poems that has stuck with them is entitled "Warning" where it states, "Inside everybody's nose/There lives a sharp-toothed snail/ So if you stick your finger in/He may bite off your nail/Stick it farther up inside/And he may bite your ring off/Stick it all the way, and he/May bite the whole darn thing off." For whatever reason they talk daily about the sharp-toothed snail and how if they pick their nose it'll bite their finger off. That's all well and good, until today.

This morning the kids were in the backyard blowing bubbles when my son became hysterical. I ran out to see what the problem was and my daughter said she thought he got bubbles in his eyes or up his nose. So, I started hugging him to comfort him when he said something about a rock. The inside of me panicked and I asked, "Did you stick a rock up your nose." He manages to nod his head yes. I look up and incredibly deep, beyond my reach I can see the tip of a rock lodged in his nose. I hold the "good" nostril and tell him to blow as hard as he can. Nothing happens. He continues to cry and sucks it up further. At this point I am trying to decide whether to call 911 or rush him to the hospital. I keep having him blow, hoping to at least get it to a point where I can reach it with tweezers, although I was a bit worried that I would even be able to grab it then due to the size of the rock. How he managed to fit that rock up his nose, and that far, is beyond me. After about 5 minutes of this he finally got it close enough for me to reach with my finger nails and pull it out.

The inside of his nose is scratched up pretty badly and he was obviously pretty scared, as was I. When he finally calmed down enough and the hysterics had passed I asked him why he stuck a rock up his nose. He said, "So, the sharp-toothed snail could eat it." He was apparently trying to feed the sharp-toothed snail and wouldn't you know the snail likes rocks to eat.

Good Monday

2010-04-06T16:26:00.001-07:00

Well, our broken water pipe proved to be a bigger deal than we initially thought. My husband worked on it until dark on Sunday and then took Monday off to finish the job. The materials we thought we needed actually weren't going to be compatible with the particular piping used so he spent three hours being send all over town to different plumbing supply stores until he finally found a place that had all the necessary parts and a very helpful guy who walked him through the process step by step. It took another 3 hours once he got home to finish, but it appears to be fixed, we have water, and we are hopeful this will last. Part of the problem is a huge mesquite tree whose roots entangled and punctured the pipes causing the break. We would like to rip it out but our Gestapo home owner's association mandates that every front yard must contain one 5 gallon tree (ridiculous considering how close together our homes are). So, now we have to have a plumber come out to look at the tree, the roots and their proximity to the pipes and hopefully put in writing the fact that if we leave the tree the roots will cause further damage. It is then our hope that we could successfully contest the mandate. I'm not a lawyer, but it seems to go against common sense that an HOA could mandate the necessity of certain foliage when the presence of that landscaping would cause damage to the actual dwelling.

In other news, we were supposed to find out the sex of our baby tomorrow. My husband was going to take the day off and come with. Long story short, since he took off yesterday to deal with the water pipes I called the office to see if there was any way we could come in and have the ultrasound done then instead. They actually said yes, which I totally wasn't expecting so we hustled out.

The baby looks perfectly healthy and was very active during the ultrasound, although proved to be very modest, refusing to uncross the legs. I was starting to get a little anxious because I wanted to know the sex, not really for myself, but the kids were dying to know. Finally at the end we got enough of a glimpse to determine.................................IT'S A GIRL!

Our two year old son was thrilled. He has said since the moment we told the kids I was pregnant that he wanted a sister. However, today when we were at the store, my daughter was pointing out all these cute little girl clothes and I don't know if he started to feel left out because all of a sudden he started crying and said, "I don't want a sister anymore. I want a brother." Broke my heart.

Do It Yourself If You Can

2010-04-04T20:39:00.000-07:00

Today really couldn't have gone more wrong. If it wasn't so utterly frustrating it would have been comical. We woke up, intent on going to church, and then heading to my mom's to celebrate Easter. As I was out in the front yard hiding Easter eggs for the kids I discovered that our entire front yard was flooded. We initially thought it was coming from our irrigation system, but later discovered the main water pipe to our house had burst....and it's located UNDER our concrete driveway.

I started calling plumbers to get estimates, etc. The cheapest we were going to get off was $537 and that was assuming they didn't have to tear up the driveway, which truthfully would have been the easier way, and therefore the way they probably would have chosen, regardless of cost to us. So my husband spent the morning digging a ditch to try to locate the pipe. Later in the afternoon my brothers came over to lend a hand in pulling up foliage, sawing out roots, and digging about 3 feet down and 3 feet in (and under) our driveway.

It took 6 hours but my husband and one of my brothers were about to put the new piping in when they realized the pipe they got was 1/16th of an inch too big....and by this time all the hardware stores had closed. So, my husband has to go back and get the correct size tomorrow and hopefully since all the heavy labor has been done it won't take too long to size, cut, and assemble the new piping. Total cost of piping and supplies? Sixteen dollars. Even having to go back and get new piping after the mis-measure will result in a grand total of $32.

That's a lot better than $537!

Happenings

2010-03-31T10:12:00.001-07:00

Well, I took a bit of an unintentional break. I've hit that part of my pregnancy (probably a little too soon) where I want everything spotless and clean and organized and I have been running around my house like a frantic woman making sure everything is just so. It started with seeing finger prints and scuffs on my wall, which on one particularly emotional day resulted in me repainting large portions of this house. Then I realized it had been a few months since I had cleaned out the kids closets, rooms, dressers, and toy bins. It took me two days but I gutted their rooms, cleaned and vacuumed them and then rearranged the rooms for something fresh and new.

Next on the agenda is to turn our home office into the baby's nursery. We have a huge desk in that room and the only way to get it out is to take it apart, which I know is going to prove to be frustrating and time consuming and then reassemble it in our bedroom -- thank God we have a huge master bedroom. But, before I upend our house I am going to gut the office closet, which has computer parts, board games, old clothing, files of bills and taxes, books we've read and Lord only knows what else and try to find new homes for them at which point we can start bringing the baby stuff out of storage in our garage and setting up the nursery. Well, after I paint the room of course.

Anyway, all of this has proven to be incredibly time consuming and then I came down with a cold a few days ago which has slowed the progress a bit. I just want things done. We leave on vacation in three weeks and when we come back we begin a summer full of birthday parties, programs, etc that I fear will leave little time for anything else until this baby comes.

Oh yeah, we have decided to find out the gender of the baby. I was leaning toward not finding out, but my husband really wanted to know. Since he felt more strongly about knowing then I felt about not knowing we decided we will find out a week from today. Now that that decision has been made I am really excited about knowing. I have felt for a while that this baby will be a girl and last night I had a dream I gave birth and it was a girl, so I'm sticking with that for now. My husband, though, thinks it is a boy. I guess one of us will be right. :)

So, what is new in your world these days?

If I Wanted Your Opinion I Would Have Asked For It, But I Didn't So Butt Out!

2010-03-23T18:16:00.001-07:00

It infuriates me when people I don't know feel they have the right to step in and say something to my kids, however kind or well-intentioned. My husband and I pride ourselves on having well-behaved children. Of course, they are children and they act up but they are disciplined accordingly and for the most part act exceptionally well in public. They know the consequences of misbehavior and usually we don't have a problem. When it has come to behavior I have actually never had anyone say anything negative to us and many have actually commented on what well-behaved children we have. That always makes me happy and proud of them.

So, the type of "stepping in" I am referring to is more "butting in" and it's always from the 50+ crowd. I guess I don't know why they feel they have such liberty when it comes to input into my family. I'll give you an example. Today we were at Target with my mom. Both kids were in the basket part of the cart. I was in front of the cart, paying for my portion. My mother was pushing the cart so therefore standing behind it. My 4 1/2 year old daughter stood up in the cart to point out a pack of gum she wanted to my mom. She wasn't horsing around, she wasn't leaning out, she wasn't doing anything she wasn't supposed to be. The cashier instantly says, "Oh, sit down honey. The cart could shoot out and you could fall and smack your face and then you'd be hurt....blah, blah, blah." She goes into an entire series of events that would be unlikely to happen in the way she said, especially considering my mom and I were both holding onto the cart and it was pushed against the wall of the conveyor. Further, even if it did happen IT'S NOT HER BUSINESS! She didn't say it rudely and she wasn't being unkind, but I just resent the intrusion and undermining of my parenting.

My daughter's feelings were hurt so I said, "You are fine. You did nothing wrong." The cashier said, "Yeah, you're not in trouble. I just didn't want you to get hurt." This further aggravated me because it's not like she has the "power" to get my daughter in "trouble." I didn't want to be an ass, but I was also clearly pissed so I just said, "Yes, but that's what she has parents for. If I felt she was in danger I would have done something myself. I don't appreciate the interference." She was silent. I then said to my daughter, and loudly for the benefit of the cashier, "Sweetie, you are fine. You just worry about listening to your mommy, daddy, grandparents, and teachers. She is none of those things." It really bothered me and it really upset my daughter and it angers me still that she felt she had the right to say anything to a child that wasn't hers. I don't care how well intentioned, it simply wasn't her place.

I witnessed a similar occurrence with an older lady at the mall telling another mother with children close in age to my own that she should take the elevator with the kids because it's safer than the escalator they were riding on. While that may be, why does that lady think she gets to make a decision about the safety of another woman's children? It just floors me.

I can feel myself having to totally restrain myself from verbally berating the "butt-in-skies" and I hate that feeling. I hate feeling like I have to justify decisions I make when it comes to MY children and I don't know what it is about certain people that makes them feel like they're the expert and know what is in my family's best interest more than I do.

Rant over!

Cursed

2010-03-22T16:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, on the drive to church, I was telling my husband that I hadn't had any morning sickness for a week, nor had I suffered a migraine. Both had become daily occurrences over the past 4 months of this pregnancy. I made the comment that the worst seemed to be over and that hopefully I'd continue to feel better.

About halfway through the service I started feeling a little funny, but figured it was hunger since I hadn't eaten breakfast. Well, on the drive home I became very sick. My husband stopped to get me some McDonald's french fries....my go to food during pregnancy. I couldn't even keep those down.

Then an hour later I got a migraine that knocked me out the rest of the day and well into the evening. I was so miserable. Why did I have to curse myself by mentioning the absence of the two things that cause me to suffer the most during pregnancy?

The today, I have had a horrible headache all day long. No amount of Tylenol or coke (the cola, of course) has been able to alleviate the pounding.

I'm thinking that next time I go a week or so without a headache or morning sickness I should just keep it to myself and not tempt fate. It hasn't been kind to me.

To Err is Human.....To Accept Responsiblity is Unlikely

2010-03-19T08:46:00.001-07:00

I realize that being merely human, mistakes are made everyday. Some are unavoidable. In truth, the actual mistake doesn't upset me as much as the poor handling of the situation after mistakes are made. It is rare these days for individuals or companies to take responsibility and rectify the situation without presenting a litany of excuses first. I don't want the reason as to why the mistake was made; I simply want it fixed. The customer shouldn't suffer because a mistake was made on the merchant's end. Am I alone in this thought process?

This past week we travelled out of town and on the way we stopped at a McDonald's drive thru for breakfast. I ordered two orders of pancakes, two sausage McMuffin's and two biscuits. When we pulled through and I started handing out food we were given ONE order of pancakes, two sausage patties, and FOUR plain English McMuffins. The order wasn't even close. So, my husband went in and told them. Instead of just saying, "Oh, sorry sir, let me fix this for you right away" which would have solved the issue, the man went into a diatribe about how the woman, and she was a woman, who took the order was new and that she was still learning the system, blah, blah, blah.

So because she's new and apparently hasn't been properly trained, we as the paying customers are just supposed to accept the food she decided to give us and not the food we actually ordered? This type of treatment and then excuse wasn't a one time thing either. This seems to be pervasive all over the place and not just in the food industry.

It seriously drives me nuts. Part of the problem, at least here in Arizona, is the fact that so many people who are being employed in these types of jobs barely speak English. So you have someone who has little training, no experience, and further can't speak the language. Really, it's enough to make me back my bags....the problem is I wouldn't know where to go.....ineptness seems to be widespread.

The bottom line is that I simply would like for people to take responsibility for their mistakes and fix them. That's it. Apparently, that is like asking for a cure for cancer.

Hilton on the Home Front

2010-03-17T21:09:00.001-07:00

The older of my two brothers lives in Wisconsin with his wife. He's been out there for about six years now. He attended law school out there and then took a job with a firm there when he graduated. We don't get to see him much -- maybe once every couple years -- which I know is hard on my mom. She would love to be able to go out and visit them more often and would also love it if they were able to come here more often than they do.

Since they couldn't make it out for Christmas they are coming the week of Easter. My mom has been preparing for this visit for a month at least. She's cleaned the house, gutted and rearranged the pantry, cleaned the downstairs portion of the house. Now, she's moved on to what was the playroom for the grandchildren, but which is being morphed into a comfy abode for my brother and sister-in-law. She's taken out all the toys and either thrown away old and broken ones or put "good" ones in a chest out on the back porch. She's had the carpets cleaned and is now looking to BUY a dresser so they have some place to keep their clothes.

I asked her the other night if she was aware that they were not moving in with her, but rather visiting for only a week. I also asked her if she realized who it was that was coming. While my brother and his wife make very nice livings, they live well below their means. They certainly wouldn't expect my mom to be going to all the trouble she is going to. I mean, it's nice and they'll appreciate it, but I just hope she does in fact realize that they will be heading back to Wisconsin after 7 days.

Although, depending on how nice she fixes the room up, I might start vacationing there.

Mental

2010-03-15T23:51:00.001-07:00

My mom calls to tell me this story tonight. As she is relaying it to me I can't help but think, "Where is she going with this? This can't be real." Apparently, it is. My mom's best friend has a friend. This friend has a sister who has a son. Still with me? This son has some type of mental illness (I don't recall the specifics other than that he lives in his own apartment -- he's in his early 20's -- and most of the time controls this illness with medication. A few times a year he has "episodes" that require medical intervention).

The story:

The son calls his mother and tells her that she needs to come over because he has a "red-headed troll" in his closet. The mother tells her son that she will be over after work. I don't have any first hand experience caring for someone with a mental illness, but it would seem to me that if I had a child with an issue and he/she called with that type of information I might drop what I was doing and go check it out. But I digress. For whatever reason, the mother doesn't go over after work. The following day she gets another frantic call from her son insisting that a "red-headed troll" was in his closet and she needed to come over immediately. Again, she didn't. The third day he again calls and this time she goes over.

When she arrives she finds that he had boarded up his closet and had pushed all of his furniture up against the closet. When she opened it she found a red-headed midget locked in the closet along with three days worth of bodily waste.

Apparently, the son had gone to the library and heard a story about the troll that lived under a bridge. He arrived back home, when shortly thereafter this man appeared on his door step. Thinking the "troll" followed him home from the library he literally picked the man up and barricaded him in his closet. Turns out the midget was a Jehovah's Witness and was more than gracious, even apologizing for "scaring" the man. The mother was profusely apologetic. The midget refused to press charges and from all accounts was unbelievably forgiving.

When I first heard the story I laughed because it seemed so unlikely. Plus, what are the odds of someone hearing this story and then having someone who "matches" the description show up at his door? But really, it's pretty sad. It's sad that the mother didn't come to her son's aid prior to the third day. It's sad that this young man, who struggles with mental issues, was so scared that he literally locked another human being in his closet with no food or drink for 3 days. It's sad that this midget's family, assuming he had one, didn't report him missing -- not to mention the other Jehovah's Witnesses who he presumably went out "witnessing" with. It's incredible to me though that this man, who probably thought as some point that he was going to die in that closet, was so forgiving and apologetic when he was clearly the victim.

Shortly after talking to my mom I read a story about a young mother who fled her house in a manic state (she was bipolar and off her meds). Her husband and father informed the police who apparently searched for her, but were convinced she hitchhiked and probably met her demise that way. Turns out they discovered her body today, a mere 1/2 mile from where they found her car. She died from exposure.

It just seems like there are a lot more young people suffering from a variety of mental illnesses and when properly medicated do okay, yet you hear/read so often of them going off of their meds for whatever reason and it results in some type of tragedy. As far as we've come in understanding mental illness and accepting a variety of what the societal norm would deem "abnormal behavior" we still as a society seem to be fairly ignorant when it comes to the seriousness of these illnesses.

It's just sad to me. Maybe if people took these illnesses more seriously these types of occurrences and tragedies wouldn't happen with such frequency. I don't know; maybe I'm naive to think that, but it just seems that so many of these mental issues are brushed aside or downplayed.

Pilot vs. Odyssey

2010-03-14T18:11:00.001-07:00

Well, we're back in the midst of one of my least favorite endeavors: car shopping. A while back we bought a mini-van; I had serious buyer's remorse and so we took it back the next day. I felt completely good about that decision because at that time a) I wasn't pregnant, b) we were undecided about even having a 3rd kid, and c) I love my Pathfinder.

Well, now that I am pregnant and about 5 months away from D-Day we realized we need a bigger car. Our Pathfinder doesn't have a 3rd row and it's impossible to fit 3 car seats across the backseat. So, the searching, negotiating, re-negotiating, re-searching, etc. has begun. We have spent all weekend searching the state for the best deals and spending a ridiculous amount of time on the phone and Internet trying to negotiate the best deals.

We have negotiated two smoking deals on two different cars: a 2008 Honda Pilot and a 2007 Honda Odyssey. I am fighting the Odyssey with all the energy I can muster. I'd much prefer the Pilot, despite the fact that the Odyssey has more room and would probably be easier with 3 kids in car seats. My husband wants the Odyssey. He thinks it is the smarter choice.

So, if cost were the same, what would you do? The Odyssey is leather, has navigation, and DVD. The Pilot has none of those features. While those upgrades are certainly nice, they are not necessities to me. That's great if cars have them, but their absence wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.

Any thoughts?

Wanted: A Baby Sister

2010-03-12T09:53:00.000-08:00

Our son adores his older sister. He hangs on her every word, does whatever he can to please her, and pretty much worships her existence. To say he loves her simply wouldn't adequately explain his feelings for her.

As a result of this, he is insistent that this new baby be a girl (he has yet to fully understand that I have little control over this). He repeatedly says, "I really, really want a baby sister" followed by, "I don't want a brother. No more boys is this house." I, on the other hand, secretly am pining for another son, although either would be a joyous, welcomed addition. Part of me now though really wants to have another girl just for his sake. The thought of him taking care of and fawning over a baby sister melts my heart and while I know he'll be a terrific big brother regardless, there is something incredibly sweet about the thought of him with his baby sister.

Not to mention it is the cutest thing in the entire world to hear him say the name we've chosen if this baby is a girl.

Limbaugh Leaves Socialized Medicine for.......Socialized Medicine?

2010-03-09T18:01:00.000-08:00

I find it interesting that Rush Limbaugh declared that if the United States passes health care reform then he will leave the U.S. and move to Costa Rica. Has anyone told him that Costa Rica has socialized medicine? Personally, I am all for him leaving the country. In fact, I'm all for anyone who doesn't like the way we do things to find the first flight, boat, train on out of here.

It just seems that if Limbaugh is leaving in protest of what he thinks will be a socialized health care system, he would head to a country that doesn't have socialized health care itself. Am I missing something?

Expenses

2010-03-01T20:41:00.000-08:00

Today I wrote a $120 check for a man to come out, spend 10 minutes inspecting our house for termites (no sign of them), and extending our warranty for a year. Friday I will be spending probably at minimum double that for a different man to come out and fix our freezer and our dryer (hopefully)! When it rains, it pours I tell ya.

The ice machine in our freezer has been leaking for two years now. So, ever couple of weeks, my husband takes it apart, take a hair dryer to melt the ice, and puts it all back together. He waits until enough water has leaked and formed a solid ice block on the shelf of the freezer before repeating the process again. We've had the repair man out here a half dozen times to "fix" it, which lasts a few months before leaking again. I don't want to have to buy an entirely new fridge/freezer simply because there is a problem with the connection to the ice maker that can't seem to be fixed.

Then our dryer decided that it would quit drying clothes unless I ran them on high heat for 3 hours. I'm thinking our electric bill is going to be a bit higher than usual this month. My husband took the entire thing apart, cleaned out the vents, etc. and the dang thing still doesn't dry our clothes. I'm thinking it might be a problem with the heating element, but really that's just a random guess based on nothing specific.

I just hate having to spend money on things like this. There are so many other "fun" things I could spend hundreds of dollars on, yet it seems like our money always goes to fixing or replacing things. Part of me wants to sell everything and start over with a totally minimalistic approach. The fewer things possessed equals the fewer things that will eventually need to be fixed.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

2010-02-28T22:54:00.000-08:00

**This weekend my son was repeating the word "idiot". I stopped him and told him that we don't say that because it is not a nice word and that no one in our house was an idiot. He said, "But some people are." I started to say, "No, people aren't idiots" to which my son again said, "Some people are" at which point my daughter chimes in, "Yeah, like the people you honk at." Apparently, when I honk the horn I mumble "idiot" under my breath. Looks like that bad habit is going to have to stop.

**The Jehovah's Witnesses are regular fixtures in our neighborhood and once again this past Friday two JW's came knocking at our door. I opened it up and as one of the women wanted to "share the good news" my daughter peeks around the corner and says, "We already know about Jesus." I'm thinking I might start letting her answer the door from now on.

And We Will Call Him or Her........

2010-02-25T21:07:00.001-08:00

It's funny because almost the minute we started telling people we were expecting another baby they started asking if we had thought of names yet. Being the Type A person that I am, I had of course already compiled a list of possible contenders. If this baby is a girl, the name will be easy. My husband and I fell in love with a girl's name when I was pregnant with our son, who is now 2.5. That name is still at the top of our list. In fact, it is the ONLY name on our girl's list.

Our boy's list isn't so finalized. I have literally suggested close to fifty names and the ones that weren't flat out rejected by my husband were met with a wishy washy, "Ehh, it's okay." Dear husband, on the other hand, has suggested ONE name. That's right! ONE!!! And it's a name he suggested months ago that I said no way because no one would ever guess our child was a pasty, white kid of Irish decent with a name like that. Yet, he continues to submit it for consideration.

Then, this week I suggested two names (two of the original fifty I initially submitted, if you are keeping track like I am). Suddenly, he likes them both. They are now his "top two" as he calls them. Is he trying to drive me crazy?

The thing is, we have months to go. It's not like we need a name right this second. We don't even know the sex or if we are even going to find out the sex....although we need to make that decision pretty soon because that ultrasound is coming up. With both of our other kids we LOVED their names from the get-go. There was not a lot of discussion or deliberation. Both names just were, if that makes sense.

The real kicker is going to be if this child is a girl and we spent all this time negotiating over a name we can't even use.

Coming Soon: Version 3.0

2010-02-24T08:48:00.000-08:00

I have been sitting on some news for the past few months and that is we are expecting baby number three in a handful of months. We are obviously very excited and so far our other two children have reacted wonderfully to the news. I have been incredibly ill this pregnancy, but the baby is healthy so that is really all that matters.

Yesterday I went in for a second ultrasound (the first ultrasound 4 weeks ago had a weird fuzzy line across the screen that prevented the doctor from getting a measurement of the head so he wanted to redo it just to make sure). The baby was crazy active: punching, kicking, flipping around all over the place. It was awesome. Everything looked perfect, which I thought was the case, but it is always nice to have that confirmed.

The bad news was that for the second month in a row my blood pressure has been high and yesterday's was really high. This is not normal for me at all. My blood pressure is usually in the ball park of 116/65 to 120/72. I have not had any history of high blood pressure in either of my other pregnancies. A month ago, since it was the first high reading they weren't really that concerned. This week they were. So, I have to go back on Monday and if it is still high they'll have to decide what to do with me (at home bed-rest vs. admitting me to the hospital, both of which will be a disaster).

So, I'm incredibly worried now, which obviously isn't good for my blood pressure. The doctor tells me to go home, rest, take it easy, etc. Uh hello....I have two young kids and my husband works 80 hours a week. Take it easy? Rest? Yeah, right! Nevertheless, I am trying to do just that, knowing that if I can't get my blood pressure down on my own the alternative is not going to be something I like.

On that note, any prayers, good vibes, etc. you can send my way would be appreciated.

What Tiger's Speech Showed About a Mother's Love

2010-02-21T18:45:00.000-08:00

I caught a portion of the Tiger Woods mea culpa extravaganza this past Friday. I sort of found his words to be void of any real meaning and his flat affect left me a bit puzzled, but the aspect that resonated most with me was at the end when his mother embraced him. She later made some comment to the effect that she loves and supports her son regardless of his shortcomings.

I'll admit that when I first saw her embrace him with this huge smile I was bothered. I thought to myself, "He cheated and lied and betrayed his wife and kids. What is she still doing hugging him, grinning ear to ear?" It bothered me enough that I chewed on it the rest of the day.

But then it hit me. She's his mother. She likely doesn't condone what he did, she's likely disappointed in his actions, yet she most definitely still loves him. Isn't that the way it should be? I tried to imagine my son 30 years from now making a mistake of that magnitude (I pray to God, he never does) and what my reaction would be. I'd be unbelievably disappointed and he would know this, yet I wouldn't stop loving him or stop supporting and encouraging him.

I think it's easy to love your kids when they are good or successful, but it's just as important to love them when they make mistakes or fail. Love shouldn't be conditional and a mother's love (and a father's) is really one of the last types of loves that truly exemplifies this (or at least should). So, in retrospect when I think of Tiger's mother embracing him it's really quite beautiful and speaks volumes about a mother's love for her son.

A Sign That I May Not Be Getting Enough Sleep

2010-02-18T12:06:00.000-08:00

Every Thursday I drop my daughter off at gymnastics class and then go and run errands with my son. The class is only 45 minutes long, so they are usually quick, close errands. Today, like every Thursday, I dropped her off and then ran to get gas and pick up something at the store quickly. Next thing I know I was on the street approaching our neighborhood. Without my daughter!

I drive the route home so many times a day that it has become automatic. I rarely even remember getting home, just that I'm there. Suddenly, I realized I was minus a kid. I circled back and got her and was still there with ten minutes to spare, but I'm thinking I may need to start going to bed a little bit earlier.

Drowning in Housework

2010-02-16T16:45:00.000-08:00

For the most part I am a pretty organized, "stay on top of it" type of person. This applies to my personal life, professional life, home life, etc. I get things done and I get them done pretty immediately. It's a standard I have pretty much set for myself. While others (bosses, husband, children, etc) hold me to a certain standard it comes no where close to the standard I hold for myself. Therein lies the problem.

I have been letting myself down and while for the most part it isn't that noticeable, it is driving me crazy. For example, I have a pile of laundry as tall as my two year old waiting in the hallway to be folded. I have a floor that hasn't been mopped in a week and bedrooms that haven't been vacuumed in that same amount of time. There are toys and magazines and library books in various spots throughout the house where they don't belong. My husband says he hasn't noticed (although, I know he is lying about the pile of laundry). While I know all these things need to get done I also just simply can't keep up. I feel like I clean one room only as another room is being systematically destroyed. I finish cleaning up the kitchen after breakfast just in time for it to get messy again for lunch and then dinner. I am constantly picking up toys.

These are minor things, I know. They aren't going to keep the world from spinning, but it seriously causes me great anxiety just knowing the house is not the way I like it and it's because I just can't keep up lately. So, I want some suggestions. How do you keep your house in order while keeping a firm grasp on your sanity? Is it possible?

No More Faith

2010-02-09T14:09:00.000-08:00

There are some days where I just get so frustrated and discouraged in humanity and the general idea that most people are decent individuals that I start looking through real estate websites to find some secluded piece of land where I can take my family and drop off the grid. It just seems that life is one hassle after the next and usually over such stupid, minor things.

We live in a community that is governed by a Home Owners Association. They are pretty much incompetent, inconsistent, and vengeful. Like one neighbor complained and the next thing she knew she was getting fines for two weeds in her yard. It's ridiculous. Anyway, beginning in January we apparently got a new management company (although it appears it consists of all the same people, they just changed their business name and moved locations). We sent our January assessment to the previous company. Toward the end of January we received a note from this new company saying we were late in our assessment (which had increased substantially, yet we received no notice of) in addition to a rather substantial late fee. We were told we had fourteen days to dispute in writing. We sent out a letter of dispute the next day along with the check for the amount owed, less the late fee which was in dispute.

Today we get this lengthy letter back in which they state that they are under no legal obligation to send us bills, statements, the amount owed, or anything else for that matter. That their inability to do that doesn't free us from our obligation to pay in full and on time. HA! They also returned my check. In addition, they charged us interest during the period in which we disputed the initial late fees. (Even with today's letter we are STILL within the 14 day time period). My husband called and got absolutely nowhere with the manager. She just kept saying that they were under no obligation to notify us of any changes.

My husband was like, "We didn't even know you were our new management company so how were we supposed to know a)where to send the check and b)how much to make the check out for?"

I surely must be missing something. This just doesn't seem right. So, for now I am paying the full, ridiculous amount and then pursuing other avenues to dispute it, which according to the management company is to appear at the board meeting, ask for a refund, and hope they'll give it even though she said they are unlikely to do so.

Ambitious Much?

2010-02-08T17:11:00.001-08:00

As I mentioned previously my husband and I are taking the kids out to the Washington DC area in April to visit my parents. We couldn't be more excited and the kids are already talking with utter joy about the plane trip and riding the Metro. Both of my brothers and my sister have already visited on separate occasions and spent a lot of time sight-seeing and they were not able to see everything they wanted. And none of them were travelling with two small children, or any children for that matter. Both of my brothers went during a nice time of year so they didn't encounter any weather-related challenges. Unfortunately, for my sister she left Tucson last Wednesday and arrived in DC Thursday just as the snow storm began. She was lucky to find a flight out yesterday and it required her taking a train to Newark and flying out of there.

My husband and I have compiled a pretty ambitious list of things we want to do/see while we are there and we've already had to "weed" some things out, knowing they will be an impossibility. However, we think the list we have now is doable. We will be there six full days and plan to put in full days, assuming the kids don't drop somewhere along the way.

So, here's what's on the list. What do you think? Doable? Way too ambitious? Crazy?

National Science Foundation (my father's employer)
Smithsonian Natural History Museum
Smithsonian Air and Space Museum
National Mall
Mt. Vernon
Arlington National Cemetery
Holocaust Museum
Lincoln Memorial
Jefferson Memorial
Vietnam Memorial
White House tour
National Zoo
Capitol Hill/Building
Supreme Court
Dupont Circle
One day in Philly
Shopping in Georgetown and at huge mall by my parents place in Virginia.

The Problem with Health Care

2010-02-03T20:19:00.000-08:00

I am so angry right now and it all stems from the care/treatment our son has received over the past two years in regards to his respiratory complications. In February of 2008 when he was 8 months old he was hospitalized for four days with RSV, bronchiolitis, and pneumonia all "confirmed" through chest x-rays. In the two years since he has had what we were told were repeated bouts of pneumonia, some of them confirmed through x-rays and others diagnosed through a physical exam based on his history. Every time he gets sick he struggles to breathe, ends up in the hospital, is put on antibiotics, oxygen, albuterol, etc.

Yesterday, we went to see a pulmonary specialist who spent a lot of time examining him, going over his history, etc. I spent a lot of time signing release forms to have all of his records and x-rays released for this doctor to review. When I left the office yesterday she felt he had some allergies, which the Singulair he was placed on three weeks ago seemed to be helping, so she kept him on that. She also said that she felt he had asthma. For the past two years we have been told his asthma was simply illness-induced so he has never been treated with any type of preventative asthma medication, only rescue medication once his breathing got bad enough. She put him on two inhalers, one a preventative asthma medication and another just albuterol, which he has already been on. So, we left willing to try that, knowing we'd go back for a followup in a month and she'd reassess, do a chest x-ray and proceed from there.

Well, today I get a call from the doctor who leaves a message that she received all of his records from the hospitals and urgent cares and that the xrays were clear for pneumonia but they did show definite evidence of asthma, thickening of the bronchial tubes, the most recent xray (from just a few months ago) showed one bronchial tube completely clogged and one of his lungs was deflated. This is the FIRST time we have heard any of this. How the hospital doctors missed this is beyond me.

What burns me up is that for TWO YEARS he has been treated for pneumonia when he has never had pneumonia when he should have been treated for asthma and maybe we wouldn't have spent so much time in and out of the hospital for the past two years. My other concern is whether he still has a deflated lung????? Is that the type of thing that will just re-inflate on its own or is it something we are now going to have to deal with? I didn't get the message until after the office had closed so I'll have to wait until tomorrow to get the full scoop, but truly how something like this can go on for two years is beyond me and the fact that my poor kid has been suffering, repeatedly misdiagnosed, and inappropriately treated makes me livid.

D.C. Attractions?

2010-02-02T18:41:00.000-08:00

So, we're going to be heading out to visit my parents in Washington D.C. at the end of April. To say the kids are excited is an understatement. Neither one has been on an airplane before and I am petrified of flying, despite having flown quite a bit so that aspect should be interesting. My husband may be comforting the three of us.

Here's my question to you. What are absolute "must dos" when in D.C. and the surrounding area? We are obviously looking for family friendly activities as well as some "adult only" options. We will obviously do some of the touristy things, but I would like to hear from those of you who live there or who have visited before what things are worth doing and what things we can afford to skip.

Guilty Pleasures

2010-01-27T21:26:00.000-08:00

When Nip/Tuck first premiered we were living in a different city, where we actually paid for cable. I was addicted to the show. Then we moved and I haven't watched an episode or really even thought about it since. Until I caught an episode (I think they are now into season 6) accidentally the other night (we now have cable). Despite being crude and at times a host of other derogatory terms I found myself wanting to get caught up.

So, I reserved them all through Netflix and have started watching again from Season 1. The show is like a train wreck. There are parts where I think, "This is so wrong, how can I watch this." Yet I can't turn away or shut the show off. I watch a few shows like that, where I find the people reprehensible yet also vulnerable and tragic.

Anyway, there's no real "lesson" other than I suppose I love TV shows where the characters are hard to love (Entourage, Dexter, Weeds, etc.)

What are some of your guilty viewing pleasures?

Trust

2010-01-27T09:27:00.000-08:00

When we bought our current "family" car we bought it from a large dealership here in town (that my husband used to work for). Part of the promotion was "free maintenance for life." So, every 3-6 months we take it in for lube, oil, filter and a general looking over. The thing I hate most about this process is that every single time we come out with a laundry list of work that needs to be done.....immediately, lest we be driving down the road and our wheels fall off, roof rips open, engine explodes, or the variety of other scenarios presented.

We know a lot of this is exaggeration. Like "your belts are showing some wear" isn't necessarily a lie, but it also doesn't mean they need to be changed right then and there as the service guys like to claim. So, every time we leave the dealership we end up taking our car to our trusted mechanic, giving him the list of what the dealership claims is wrong, and having him assess it for himself.

Without fail, we leave almost every single time without an ounce of work being needed on our car. Every once in a while maybe one of the things they suggested was accurate or needs to be watched with a close eye.

It's the deceit that bothers me. I know by nature of the business that the more services they sell the more commission they earn, so of course they want to find every little thing wrong with the car. But in doing that, they lose credibility and essentially lose customers. We NEVER take our car to the dealership to have actual work done. While they may be great at what they do, the fact that I don't trust them means I will never let them work on my car or make suggestions on the type of work they think needs to be done.

It's just frustrating that they try to sell me a minimum of $500 worth of repairs every 6 months when in actuality it ends up costing maybe $100 with the mechanic I've been going to for 12 years now. Trust really does go a long way and if more people operated under this assumption they'd probably get a lot more business. (The service drive at this dealership with eerily empty).

Tornado Warning! In Arizona?

2010-01-21T22:27:00.000-08:00

We are having some incredibly uncustomary weather here over the past few days. In fact, we are currently under a tornado watch, which is unheard of in Arizona. They are advising all people to stay indoors and sleep away from the windows and as someone who was out hiking and then driving in the wind earlier today (before the tornado advisory) I can tell you I really thought the wind was going to lift my car off the highway and plop me down somewhere along the yellow brick road.

Aside from the 60 mph winds right now I think the weather is gorgeous. It's rainy, cold, gloomy. To me, that's perfect. (I should probably consider moving to Seattle). But honestly, this wind is freaking me out. It's howling, rattling the windows. There's been a ton of structural damage in our immediate area, thankfully not to our home though.

In recent memory we have not had anything like this and while I complain about the heat of Arizona a lot it is rather nice to live someplace where we don't really have to worry about earthquakes, floods, tsunamis and other natural disasters.

Why TMobile and Blackberry Need Better Customer Service Plans

2010-01-20T09:44:00.000-08:00

My month old Blackberry decided to quit holding a charge a couple of days ago. Literally, it would be charged to 100 %, sit for an hour and be completely dead...to the point it would shut off. Today I took it back to the TMobile store where I purchased it originally. In what seemingly took forever, the "solution" is that Blackberry will send me a new battery (ground shipping, taking 7 to 10 days) at which point I can test that out. If that new battery still doesn't hold a charge, then they'll send me a new phone, taking another 7 to 10 days. So potentially, I could be without my phone for the better part of a month.

In the meantime, TMobile offered me a "loaner phone", which they charged my account $53 for (which I will be credited back when I return the piece o' junk). Oh, and it's water damaged, which you better believe I made them fill out paperwork stating I received it in that condition. I'm fairly certain the phone they gave me is the original cell phone. It has huge buttons and does nothing but make calls. Here's the rub. I pay good money for a BB Data plan. When asked if they'd prorate or credit my account for the days I will be unable to use my BB, I was told "no, we don't do that."

So, by no fault of my own, I have a BB that I can't use, a basic cell phone that doesn't perform the functions that my BB did and which I am still being charged for. Something doesn't seem right with that. Further, the fact that BB ships ground unless I want to pay $20 for UPS to replace a defected battery that their company produced seems ludicrous to me.

For now, I'll just have to suck it up and deal, but I have a feeling by this afternoon I will have decided to call Blackberry, TMobile, Better Business Bureau and anyone else who I can think of. Deep breaths....I just keep telling myself, "Deep Breaths!"

Mr. Sandman

2010-01-18T19:49:00.001-08:00

I cannot even begin to tell you how much I have missed naps. In the four and one half years since we had our first kid I have not slept through the night. Our son still wakes up multiple times throughout the night, which makes sleep not really that restful.

Anyway, my husband has been home since last Friday. So, four straight days. On each one of those days I got at least an hour nap. On one of the days it was closer to two hours. It's amazing what getting a little extra sleep can do for a person. I have got to find a way to start sneaking naps into my days when neither of my children nap.

Any thoughts?

Best Invention Ever

2010-01-14T08:21:00.000-08:00

One of the best creations as of late, as least in my mind, is the new Almond Joy Pieces. Looking like m & m's but tasting like Almond Joy candy bars. It doesn't get much better.

Why I Love Being a Mom: Reason 44,538

2010-01-13T07:37:00.000-08:00

This morning we woke up to a rare chilly and overcast day. With our plans to the park delayed for today I asked the kids what they wanted to do. After a bit of discussion we somehow settled on my son "doing my hair" which consists of him pretty much running his fingers through it and then piling it all on top of my head while occasionally asking, "You like it?" with his voice going an octave higher on the word "like." Then for my "entertainment" my daughter has decided to perform an opera for me. So, here she is wrapped in a blanket, as her gown, holding one of those little New Testament Bibles that missionaries hand out, pretending that is her music while she warbles and makes up unintelligible words for her opera. Pretty much like the real thing.

Escapades

2010-01-11T18:17:00.001-08:00

My husband and I have a very complicated relationship with his family. This past week, however, we got a phone call from his mother informing us that his grandmother had been hospitalized and was not expected to make it. (I won't get into the fact that she had been in the hospital 10 days before they decided to let us know). So, as usual we put our differences aside, which really means we act like they haven't treated us horribly over the past seven years and do what we need to do. So, my husband called and spoke to his grandmother. She wasn't able to speak but at least he was able to say what he needed. This was after we were told that she was going to basically die right then and there.

A few days pass and we hear nothing, until today when I get an email from his mother letting us know that she is still alive. Which is good, assuming she's not in horrible pain which we wouldn't know since the information we've been given is limited and a bit cryptic. So, we are pretty much just waiting around to see what happens.

Here's the thing, though and this sounds awful, but anyone in our position would understand. We get a phone call at LEAST once a year from his mother telling us that someone has some fatal condition and has mere moments to live. Then inevitably we either a)hear nothing about it ever again or b)get notice that "a miracle" has occurred and the ill person is now completely cured, more than likely a result of his mother's claims of a direct line to God. Like last year we get a phone call from her telling us my husband's father has been diagnosed with prostate cancer and it didn't look good. She then calls my mom hysterical that her husband is dying of cancer and their wish is that we all reconcile, etc. My husband called his father right away who tells us that he doesn't have cancer but his PSA (?) levels were elevated and they wanted to run some more tests, which eventually revealed that he did not have cancer. When confronted, according to her he did have cancer, but God took it away.

So, with this history we are not sure what to believe or not. My husband's grandmother in her mid-eighties so death is certainly within the realm of not only possibility but likelihood. But during the course of our marriage his grandmother has been moments from death close to a dozen times. However, in case this time is for real, as usual, we treat it as if it were the truth. While my husband doesn't like to be caught up in the drama I think that if she is telling the truth and my husband didn't talk to his grandmother and she really did die he'd regret it. So, we tolerate the escapade. What else can we do?

Because I Love You

2010-01-07T22:47:00.000-08:00

There are days when my kids say and do things that seriously just melt my heart. This afternoon I was hugging my daughter really tight, preventing her from breaking loose. She said, "Mommy let me go."
Me: I will never let you go.
Her: But I will come back.
Me: How do I know you'll come back?
Her: Because I love you!
And then she kissed me.

It is moments like these that make me want to have dozens of babies.

Gut Feelings

2010-01-04T21:33:00.000-08:00

I tend to be what could be viewed as a bit pessimistic or glass half empty type of person. I prefer to look at it as a realist versus an idealist, but I won't go into the whole issue of semantics. The point is when a situation presents itself or a scenario unfolds I tend to explore, research, analyze the negative outcomes first and solutions to those before i allow myself to consider the possibility that they'll have a positive outcome. The benefit to this is that I am usually pretty well -equipped to handle bad news, trying situations and the like.

With having kids I've masked a lot of that natural pessimism and instead focused on the positives, because let's face it...I don't want to skew my kids' view of the world. Who does? Despite the rah-rah positive attitude I still often get premonitions or gut feelings about situations or circumstances and rarely am I wrong about those. So, to say I rely on my gut heavily is an understatement. I'm still Type A to the core with my flow charts and spread sheets and risk analysis summaries but if I have a gut feeling about something, even if it looks good on paper, I'll usually go with my gut.

That explanation leads me to this relatively new gut feeling. A positive type of anxiousness or anticipation that I can't quite put my finger on. It's not nervousness or excitement, really but more of just a sense that something big (in a good way) lies over the horizon. It's strange because it's not like I am waiting on specific news that I have a good feeling about. It's totally abstract and completely vague, but I can't shake the feeling. It's just this undercurrent that seems to be saying that things will be okay, better than okay, that something is going to happen to make a positive difference. I guess if anything good happens I could attribute that to the feeling, but I think it's bigger than that. That IF something does happen, I'll know. I'll be able to feel a sudden calm of the anxiousness and anticipation.

Do you ever have feelings like this? Do you tend to pay much attention or dismiss them?

Root Canals and Birthdays Just Might Go Together

2009-12-30T21:07:00.000-08:00

December 31 is my birthday. December 30 I had a root canal. Poor planning on my part. I don't know what I was expecting, but I certainly wasn't expecting to be in horrible pain all day long. The root canal itself didn't hurt at all. However, once the anesthesia wore off and feeling was regained in my mouth it was horrific. Supposedly, this is typical for the first day or two. None of the pain meds my dentist gave me are providing any relief at all, so I spent the day beside myself with pain. I am just hoping that my birthday tomorrow is not spent in this same amount of pain. Turning 32 is painful enough for me!

My husband and I went out this past Sunday for dinner and to see a movie to celebrate my birthday. While I initially wanted to go out on my actual birthday I am now glad we did it ahead of time, especially if I am still unable to eat tomorrow. Anyway, we went out for sushi, one of our favorites, which was nice. Then we saw Up in the Air. It was good and George Clooney is always nice to look at. No complaints there.

Birthdays, for me, are just kind of depressing now. I mean as a kid you get these great parties and celebrations and everyone makes a big deal about them, but as an adult the same amount of excitement, by myself or others, simply doesn't exist. My parents and grandma always give me a gift as do my husband and kids. Then there is a meal of some sort with me and my husband, but inside I'm thinking, "What's really the point? I'm just another year older?" I don't know what my point is exactly, other than that birthdays just aren't what they used to be. And that is sad.

So, to everyone else out there....Happy New Year!

My Booming Baritone Boy

2009-12-28T11:22:00.001-08:00

The general noise that children make never really bothers me. I've gotten to a point where I tune most of it out, whether it is from my own children or others. The chattering, squeals, laughter, etc. is just part of the soundtrack of my life right now.

However, my son has no volume control. Everything is LOUD. And not just occasionally loud, but constantly at a level that probably doesn't register on any measurable scale. It is like he is constantly screaming at the top of his lungs, but doesn't realize it. It's his normal volume. He has a voice that is deceivingly deep for his 2 1/2 years of age and so half the time our house is BOOMING about EVERYTHING. His conversations with himself, with his sister, with his toys and stuffed animals. It is a constant, non-stop, running monologue that lasts every waking hour of every single day.

Lately, this has just about sent me over the edge. It started out as an occasional thing, but over the past month or so it has become his norm and nothing we say or do changes that. He's not doing it to be bad, disobedient, or annoying. When I finally snap, usually once a day, and tell him to stop he rarely realizes what he is doing. (Other times, the little demon that he is, he fully realizes it and does it solely for a reaction; this I realize). Our downstairs, where we spend most of the day, is all ceramic tile and as a result makes him sound even louder and harder on the ears than he probably really is.

Honestly, I'm about ready to start wearing earplugs, tune them out, and just hope they are able to get through the day without hurting themselves or each other. Any thoughts? Do you think this is something he will outgrow or is he destined to be one of those kids who can be heard in the next zip code?

Christmas Time

2009-12-25T20:58:00.000-08:00

Our daughter on Christmas morning playing with her ballerina magnets.

Our son getting one of his presents from Santa from under the tree.

My husband getting our son's shoes on the Sunday before Christmas.

Our Christmas was fantastic. We attended church services Christmas Eve. My parents, grandmother, brother, and his girlfriend joined our family at our church. Afterwards we went out for our traditional Christmas Eve Dinner: In and Out Burger.

Christmas morning was a bit strange in that both kids slept in. On any given day the kids are up by 7:30 am at the very latest. Our son slept in until 8:15 and I had to actually wake our daughter up at 9 am so we could get the show on the road. The kids were uber excited and were able to play a bit with their gifts before we had to get ready to head up to my parents.

It was mass chaos up there with six kids buried in a mass of wrapping paper and boxes. All were pleased with their gifts and once the initial excitement wore off a bit the kids actually played really well the rest of the day. There were sixteen of us this year, a few less than usual but a good time was had by all.

When we arrived back home in the early evening I spent a couple hours picking up wrapping paper, boxes, finding homes for all the new toys, and most importantly assembling the toys that needed it, and of course then playing with assembled toys.

The only negative was that our son woke up once again pretty sick. He has steadily been sick on and off for the past few months now and it's getting wearing. So, tomorrow and the rest of the weekend we will lay low, stay home, and spend the time enjoying each other's company and all the new Christmas gifts.

How was your Christmas? What is your plan for the rest of the weekend?

Merry Christmas

2009-12-23T15:35:00.001-08:00

The decorations have been up for weeks along with the tree. The stockings are hung and filled with surprises for the kids on Christmas morning. Presents are wrapped and those not from Santa are set under the tree. It's finally relatively "cold" here so it feels a bit more like Christmas. Cookies have been made, frosted, and decorated and Christmas outfits have been purchased, washed, and ironed.

Everything is ready. I love the weeks leading up to Christmas. They are filled with purposeful preparation and eager anticipation. I love going to church Christmas Eve and singing the hymns I've sang since childhood. I love the traditions that have carried over from my childhood, mixed with the new traditions my husband and I have started with our children. I go to bed Christmas Eve with the same excitement as my children, eager for what Christmas morning will bring.

I love coming down the stairs bright and early and watching as the eyes of my children go wide with surprise and rush to their gifts to see what Santa brought the night before. I love eating freshly baked pastries for breakfast, a treat that only occurs once or twice a year.

I love sitting in our pajamas as the kids play with their new toys and then we gradually end up getting dressed and head over to my parent's Tucson home where we do it all over again and then feast on a huge meal.

So, here's wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas!

My Legal Code

2009-12-22T17:58:00.000-08:00

I'm a big believer of our civil rights as American citizens. I believe the fewer laws the better and I get a bit touchy when I feel laws are being made that infringe upon the rights I believe we as citizens are entitled to.

Lately, I have been forced to rethink my stance on that a bit. I now think that there should be a law against being an asshole. There are just too many walking amongst us.

When the Effort Doesn't Yield the Desired Results

2009-12-18T11:33:00.001-08:00

As a child my parents were militant about brushing and flossing our teeth. We had to Plax and Act before and after every brushing. It was a built in routine.

My husband on the other hand was praised if he could remember to brush his teeth at least every other day. His first roll of floss was purchased after we were married.

I have quite a few cavities. He has none. (We both, thankfully, have straight --his thanks to braces-- and white teeth).

It seems like every time we go to the dentist I leave needing, at minimum, another filling and he leaves cavity free. Don't get me wrong, I am glad for him, but it just seems like if anyone should be getting the cavities it should be him.

I went to the dentist this past September for a teeth cleaning. I left having to set up appointments for three fillings, two crowns, and as of earlier this week one root canal. My husband visited the dentist yesterday and once again, no cavities.

My mother says that because she was so ill and hospitalized during her pregnancy with me that the doctors told her there may be problems with the development of my teeth (enamel not fully formed, "soft" teeth...whatever that means). While I don't doubt she was told that I have no first hand knowledge of its medical accuracy.

I still brush and floss every single day. Once in the morning and once in the evening. While my husband brushes every single morning, he forgets at night and I can't remember the last time I saw him floss. A few years ago???? So, why oh why am I racking up the dental bills?

The Harshest Critic

2009-12-16T23:50:00.000-08:00

There are a lot of things that my kids do that simply drive me nuts. Truthfully, I could make a pretty long list of things that annoy me on a daily basis (I could equally compose a list of great attributes and wonderful qualities that impress me on a daily basis as well, in all fairness). For example, they interrupt when I am on the phone, they pick on each other just to get a reaction, they jump off furniture after being told not to, they sneak the dog in the house when I prefer to keep her outside....the list goes on. But seriously, all it takes is for one of them to come over and give me a hug or want to snuggle on the couch or tell me that they love me and everything else that was/is bothersome disappears. It can't compare to their outpouring of emotion.

That's the great thing about kids. They can be hellions one minute and sweet as can be the next. The good moments far outweigh the bad and those good moments are exponentially more positive than the bad moments are negative. They just are, even on the worst day.

Kids are so much work and there are some days where I think I am going to lose my mind. However, there are so many good days, good moments that absolutely dominate those bad moments and bad days. It makes everything worth it.

Being a mom is the single most important job I will ever have and I want to make sure I do it right. There are plenty of instances that make me question whether or not I am doing it right or well enough. However, if I am honest there are so many more moments that should be an affirmation that what I am doing is right and best for them. I just need to pay more attention to those. I would venture to say that most moms are hard on themselves and question their parenting. I would also say that a lot of moms are doing a great job raising great kids.

Medical Expenses and Tax Deductions....All the Fun Stuff

2009-12-15T08:04:00.001-08:00

When we set up our Flexible Spending Account this year with our health insurance we put aside an average of the medical expenses we have had for the past few years. In each of the past three years I have either had a child or our son has been hospitalized, thus increasing our expenses. While I knew we wouldn't be having a child this year I did figure on our son being hospitalized for more than a day or two just in case.

Fast forward to December 15, 2009. While our son was kept over night they never actually admitted him which meant we got away with just a co-pay instead of the hospital bills. I've been healthier this year as has the rest of the family. All of this is great news, except now we have more than half of the money we set aside currently unspent.

Since I predicted some of this I started having some dental work done that I've put off for the past year (I need crown on two teeth). Two months ago I had the first crown done. The crown prep was fine, the temporary was incredibly comfortable and I've had no problems with the permanent crown. Then two weeks ago I had the crown prep done for the second crown. It was a little achy at first, which I expected but then the pain wouldn't go away. Add to that the fact I can't chew AT ALL on that entire side of my mouth and now I'm a bit concerned. I kept telling myself to give it a couple more days to see, but it's at the point where it throbs and aches so badly that it's keeping me up at night, the pain has radiated into my jaw and behind my ear and is causing (I think) horrible headaches.

So, I've told myself that I HAVE to call today. I have to have it looked at. (I won't get my permanent crown until 12/28). Yet, here I sit hesitating. I think I dread the possibility of a root canal. The only consolation is I have plenty of money left in our FSA account to pay for it, something that wouldn't have been likely a year ago.

I bet December is a big month for dentists and maybe optometrists too. People having dental work they've put off done or getting contacts and eye glasses just to meet the end of year deadline for tax deductible expenses. While that's usually not the case for us, this year it seems to be, in part due to the overestimation of our medical expenses and the surplus of cash we have to spend on medical treatment/supplies.

How about you? Do you make the rounds with your doctors in December?

What I Love About Christmas

2009-12-12T22:18:00.000-08:00

Days spent in pajamas cuddling on the couch.

Christmas music.

Christmas tree and lights.

Carefully picking out presents.

Wrapping presents.

Watching the look of joy and pleasure and surprise on the faces of my children as they open presents on Christmas morning.

Baking and decorating cookies.

The smell of a fire to keep warm.

Apple cider.

Christmas hymns sung in church by candlelight.

The real meaning of Christmas.

I love Christmas time.

Little Boys

2009-12-10T21:27:00.000-08:00

There was a time in college, after our apartment was broken into, when I strongly contemplated purchasing a gun. I even went to a couple of shops, asked a bunch of questions, took a gun safety course, fired off a few rounds, and then ultimately decided against it. Honestly, I'm just not really a fan. My husband owns a gun, which is hidden safely away and hasn't been used in years. I don't have a problem with other people having guns, I just don't want one. I'm not anti-gun, but I am certainly not a "cling to my gun" type of gal.

As such, our daughter was not allowed to play with toys guns and until she was almost four she thought the huge super soaker at my parents house was a saxophone. When our son was born the same "rule" extended. We didn't buy him toy guns either. However, it was like a natural attraction. He saw his older cousin using a play gun months ago and the light went on. All of a sudden this big wooden "stick" he'd been lugging around had a purpose: to shoot. Pretty soon, everything was a gun: rocks, sticks, wooden spoons.

Honestly, I was a little torn. I don't really like the idea of shooting people as a game (and he now knows to shoot things, not people), but on the other hand I am a big believer in letting boys do what comes naturally to them. I don't want to squash any of that innate behavior. So a few months ago my husband bought him a toy gun that makes all sorts of electronic noises. He loved it for a few weeks, but ultimately liked playing with his swords more. The toy gun has been in the closet for about a month now and I figured the obsession had died down.

I was wrong. Today I took him to an outdoor sporting goods store where there were racks and racks of guns on the wall. I thought the boy was going to lose his mind. "Mommy, guns! I need a gun. Pleeeeaaaaasssssseeeeee!!!!" Then pointing at every single gun, "Mommy, look at that one. Mommy over here, look at that one." Honestly, it was a little embarrassing although the people in there seemed ready to sign him up for a lifetime membership to the NRA and Nascar tickets as a signing bonus.

He spent close to an hour looking at all the guns, knives, and arrows. When I told him that he could not have a gun, he moved onto the knives, which I also told him he couldn't have, then to the arrows, which also were a negative. He settled for a sucker. It's nice to know that my gun loving, knife craving, arrow envying boy can still be bribed with a watermelon push pop.

All I Want For Christmas Is A..........Pap Smear?

2009-12-08T19:47:00.000-08:00

I was watching TV last night and one of the commercials was a public service announcement from CBS where a man sits on a couch encouraging the viewing men to get their loved ones a pap smear for Christmas. Has anyone else seen this? I thought, for sure, it had to be some type of joke. Apparently, it's not. They run one for Christmas and Hanukkah. The Hanukkah one concludes with, "Give her a gift that will light up her Menorah." I'm not Jewish but I'm thinking it's going to take more than that to light my Menorah. The Christmas one ends with "Give her a gift even Santa can't deliver."

I don't know. I love my ob-gyn, so I may be a bit more receptive than most if I were to be given this. However, in all seriousness, if my husband handed me an appointment card for a pap smear I'd be calling the closest marriage counselor.

Am I alone in thinking these commercials are a bit creepy?